Tavern Watch Plays D&D, Oops! All Artificers edition, episode 3: Attack of the 90 foot pigman

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Heat. Heat.
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And now in our ultimate fivepart, which is three parts tavern watch
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extravaganza, I feel like I'm a MontiPython character. Uh we get all
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artificers all the way down in the Terror of the Underwater Citadel. And
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this time we'll cut straight to a montage. Rooms being searched. The room all the way down on the right side
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that's by itself. It turns out that's the barracks. Rooms also being searched. Then they went up and found another room
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with guards who would have been really effective if they weren't dead and chewed on. A big cavern full of glowing
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rocks. They're very pretty glowing rocks, but they didn't seem to really have much to do with anything. Possibly
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they were mined out. And finally, the room in the corner all the way down where they found 72,000 gold pieces.
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Whoa. Is Is this room just gold? Is that it? Is there anything else here?
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I mean, they're gold pieces. They are actually Okay. They're Syrian crown cars, which is a word for crown. And And
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yes, they are extremely heavy. You could all easily take a couple thousand gold and and leave with it if you're looking
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to do that. But since this is a three-part adventure and you'll never play these characters again, it doesn't
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matter. And finally, we are led to the center room, which is full of water. As
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you walk into it, it goes a column of water going up and going down. And in it
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are floating shapes, dark shapes. And now you're all here, Luther. The
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metal glove goes, look, there they are. What are they? There's a breaking news barrier which
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says Luther wants to know what they are. I don't know. They're just horrible. And
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they forced me. They they put me on their hand, but they leave me big and
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force me to reach in and grab one and bring it to the center chamber where either it does what they want or this
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dies. and you feel incoate minds trying to read your minds, but they don't have
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enough self to actually be able to interact with you. They're just kind of
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like moaning in brainwave. Ew. And there's dozens of them in that in that giant column that completely fills
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that whole area. And it goes down till you can't see it anymore and up till you can't see anymore. And this is not the
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bright water of the other room. This is blackness. It's like you can barely see
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through it at all. Is this um on the map here? Is this 17 up at the top?
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Uh it is the central space. I can't read the up at the top of the map. Basically that big blob.
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Central. Yeah, in the middle of it. 10. Oh, in the middle. In the middle of the map. Okay. All right. I see it.
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Uh and because I, the narrator, didn't forget, we will now introduce
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everybody's characters. We already got Luther with that little chevron saying Luther wants to know. Luther, tell us
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about yourself. Why did you want to know? What did you want to know? I want to know because I'm an artifer
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who is uh keen on protecting those around him and believes that armor is the best way to do so. I'm an armorer.
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Uh this time a chevron pops up with a picture of Corel in front of Corel like
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just you know just below her. So there she is and the the picture of Corell in that thing says whatever she says now
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when she introduces herself. So they're both talking at the same time is definitely a half plane for artificer
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that that brown hair eyes that kind of shift between blue and green sort of
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like a chromatic shift kind of thing. And uh yeah that she's real short 32 but
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she's looking at that column of water and going huh. And that's about it. Next up is Royale who is an elf I
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believe. Yeah Royale elf. And there's actually just underneath your name is a ring
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of you think he's an elf going back and just around over and over again. So you're an officer and you are here
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investigating the same stuff. Right. Correct. And I am now looking at this column of water and I want to see if
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it's reacting to the gauntlet. Uh not exactly because the gauntlet is currently not being moved towards it or
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anything. Like the column doesn't pop up around my head. Yes. One of them is green. The rest are
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white. You don't know why. Uh, and finally, uh, this time there's a
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rotating Dainci, you know, the the multiple armed model of a person, but
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it's you, uh, L'Oreal, I mean, Lionel, sorry. And it kind of keeps, you know,
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it sort of has an otherworld equality to it. Uh, and underneath that says L'Oreal, not the hair.
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Um, yes, I am a humanoid looking figure with dark hair and dark eyes. And uh,
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you are very disturbed by the things you are feeling off of this column of water with squiggly things in it
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because the squiggly things are they're like six to seven feet long and they
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don't have developed minds. Do they look like the fishy people or No,
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no, they do look like um, actually, hold on. Uh, can you make for me a
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investigate check to see if you if you get a good look at them? That is a seven because my dice are just
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already off to a great start. Yeah, you see shapes blobs.
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Do they have a humanoid appearance? I mean, just blobs. Can I do an
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investigation? Uh, I'm going to say this one instead of investigate, it has to be um what's the
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sense one? Not the actually looking for stuff. It's just perception. Perception. I'm way worse at perception.
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Sorry. Uh I'll take a gander. Why not? I mean, I can push a button here. That's a one of them's a plus six. One
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of them is a plus one. Okay. So, did you roll anything? That's a 16.
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Okay. Uh, as you were trying to look at, did Luca, did you roll as well?
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I got a 12. Don't worry about me. Okay. Um, it takes you a little while because like I said, the water is
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somehow it's like it's eating light and you start to get that feeling that's why it's so hard to have a light in this
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building in this structure. It's because the water is literally drinking the light and as you were staring and trying
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to look at it, this thing comes out. Have you ever seen the end of a hagfish?
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I don't think dangly light bulb. Have you? No. Have you seen the end of a lampay?
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M. Yep. That's That's the Which end? The end that has all the spiky teeth in
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a complete circle and no gross. Yeah, that's Imagine that. Except its teeth
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are literally just changing color from gold to black
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as it they sink into light and draw it into it. They're lit. You literally can
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see it eating the light. Gross. And it's like I don't know.
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And then it pulls back in. And the narrator is like, I'm I I got nothing. That's creepy.
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So, it eats light. So, this water looks different from the other water. Yeah.
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Yes. The other water looked like it was brimming with energy and elemental power. It was
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If you had to guess, you'd think that that water was actually being drawn from the elemental plane of water. Oh, I was going to say, well, the dragon
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turtle said he was keeping it clean, too. So, this is like you do not want to touch
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this. And in order to get around the room, you have to basically avoid it cuz it is going through that whole big
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central area. Ew. There's also one place on the catwalk where there is a gap. You would have to
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jump the five ft to get across it. Or, you know, if you can walk on walls, you could do that or fly. But
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at this point, do we even want to still be here? Can we Maybe we should just, you know, like leave.
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You weren't curious. I mean, I got the talking gauntlet. I'm pretty pretty content right now. You can't leave. It won't let you. What?
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Is there a way to You can't all talk at once. Yeah. I don't I can't even hear you two.
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Someone go. Is the thing just dangling waiting? I water goes all the way straight up
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until you can't see it. Any I asked the gauntlet, would you like to punch the ones that trapped you and then
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we can worry about getting you out of this thing later? The ones that trapped me are long dead. They aren't important.
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The thing the thing that they bound here that it must be destroyed or released.
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Would you like to punch it? No. I would prefer never to experience it again.
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Ah, fair enough. And I strap it to my Actually, it just kind of grabs you like when you go to put it on your back.
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Literally, there's two fingers come ac like four of the fingers on one side, the thumb on the other side just goes shunk onto you. That was hurting you.
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I was going to offer measure of revenge, but uh Okay, I take revenge for you. You will need me.
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I figured as much. Okay, we uh and I I I address everybody. Perhaps we should go
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uh hurt the thing that is uh keeping us all here and we can go home. The thing is eating the light.
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Whatever is making them do the thing that they're doing. The gauntlet has informed me that it was used to pluck
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these things from the water and then take them ahead into the other area and they were forced to do bidding or die.
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Ah, so the shadowy thingies. Uh, yes. They they they would they would be plucked and the things that they eat
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the light. Oh, okay. What are those? Does does your does your glove know?
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I ask I I also ask if it has a name it wants me to call it. Cannot. My true name is not
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pronouncable. I could say it in your mind, but you couldn't repeat it. Perhaps a name that I can inform the
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rest of the party. Do you have a nickname? No, I have not bonded with anyone, so therefore I do not have a name that you
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can understand. Call me Tim. Okay. His name is I turn over. His name
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is Tim. Okay. So, does Tim know what those things are? Tim, do you know what these things are?
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Only what I told you. He does not know what they actually are. just what they said, which is the whole light eating thing and the the the
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gauntlet being used to to consume their take them blah blah blah. Uh so I feel
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bad for it. Okay. Well, I guess we should probably get ready to fight this thing then. Huh?
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I have a great idea. What's that? I would like to I would like to mind link with the thing
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and see if it has just Okay, so mind link doesn't have
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doesn't say we have to share a language. It doesn't even say it has to be able to speak.
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Okay, it I would like to mind link and just try to like is it capable of
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understanding us? Is it a force or is it a a a being? Is it just a thing or is it
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some sort of creature? Does it have Does it is it sentient?
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Okay. When you say the thing, do you mean the things in the column of water right here or do you mean the big thing?
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Okay. The things in the column of water here when you Is the big Is the big thing also um
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the also in the column of water or is it No, it is not. No, it's ahead. It's past the water.
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Okay. Um in the other thing of water that is ahead of us. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I would like to try
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the things the the shapes in this body of water in the column. Okay. When you mind link to them, it is
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a deeply unsettling experience. Um, it's similar to if you had someone
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who worked as a somo or a chocolier or anything where like a perfumeier,
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somebody who's got a strong sense of smell is really important to them and you took them to a sulfur manufacturing
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plot directly next to an abattoire directly next to a fertilizer ground and
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then you set everything on fire. It is just this awful, awful feeling of a
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thing that is the opposite of you. They are being tortured though. Whatever these things are,
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tortured is not the right word. They are not in their current state sapiient.
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They don't think, but they do try to glom on to thoughts. When a thought is
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near it, it tries to eat it like it eats light. um when you link with it, it's
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trying to eat you, but it doesn't have any its sense of self is so rudimentary that you are not vulnerable to it. But
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you also get the sense of something truly enormous behind it. Like the potential of this thing, every
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single one of them, the potential is terrifying. Okay. Yeah. Kind of what I was wondering is if there are more stolen Clitar
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spirits here somehow. But seems to be the only one that you know about. Okay. Okay. these I'm going to break the
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connection. Um uh these things Okay. As you do like the one that you actually
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linked to swings its gaping mall full of teeth in your general direction.
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Mhm. And you cut out there. It says anticipation.
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And you see that it got smarter. Oh, from I should not do that. It ate
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something of me or absorbed or drew or just copied it
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are copied. I think they absorb whatever's around them. Whether it's light or thought, maybe
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Joe thinks he knows what these are. Luther has no idea. This is very unsettling.
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Very unsettling. Yeah, we should uh leave them be. Yeah. Uh I would prefer not to deal with them.
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They're extremely unpleasant. I'm just really unsettled by this.
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Then we keep moving forward to go punch the thing that needs to be punched. As you are heading, you you go around
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the wall. You have to all jump around the columns, the the water there, so you don't like go into it because you really
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don't want to go into it. Um, you come upon plaques on the wall and on
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those plaques are dissections. Like there's a much smaller version of one of these things that's on a board
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and pinned apart. E and it has no insides.
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Okay. Like an ooze. No, there's just nothing there. Oh.
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And it's like you think, well, okay, they took them out. Almost as if this was an aberration of
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normal physiology. Yeah. It takes you a little while to realize they didn't take anything out. There's no signs of scraping or gouging
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or anything inside the body to remove its internal organs. It doesn't have
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internal organs. The next plaque is a larger one and it does. They're rudimentary, but there's a very small
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noticord going down the back and there's a tiny little brain exposed at the very
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top and they had to cut apart the teeth to do that. So, wasn't easy. Are these labeled at all? Like is there
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anything written on them? Yes. Uh, one is specimen one uh, non-phodic. Uh, the the next is specimen
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two fodic. Okay. Interesting. And there are actually like as you're going closer to the doorway to get out
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of here and head into the next hallway. Uh, there are more plaques on the walls. Some of them have things in them. Some
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of them are like been smashed or broken or dropped down. Uh, is there Can we read the ones that
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have been like dropped or whatever or No, not all of them, but some of them. Like one of them has just been like it was
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like it was ripped off the wall and taken. Um but another is um response to
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of flesh to fountain a response of flesh to fountain B. Ew.
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Then there's you know there's actually as you keep going there's a one that it
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looks like a very large rugose uh reptilian scale not like the fish
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scales that you saw earlier. And underneath it's like dra dragon
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resistance established. Ew. Okay. Can I How big is a scale?
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6 feet by 3 ft. Then I would not want to pick that up. Yeah. Okay.
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It looks like it it's literally a shed. Like the the dragon turtle shed this off of its shell.
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Yeah, that's what I was thinking was it came from the dragon turtle. Okay. There's also as you're going forth,
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there's three or four dead Kuatoa looking things. Do they look like they dissolved or?
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No, they just look dead. You're not sure what happened to them. Uh, can I do a medicine check on to see if I
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can? Sure. Well, that's a seven. And I think that they're dead.
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You're not sure? Maybe, maybe not. But I mean, it seems likely that they are dead. Can I do an investigation check to look
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for like stab wounds or something like that? Yeah. Um, everybody can do that unless
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you, you know, just don't feel like 13. I'm gonna save my rules because honestly, if I'm going to get a good one
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and it happens here, I'm going to be so mad. Okay. Um, this is a medicine roll.
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It could you can do either medicine or investigate or even perception if you want. Let me try an investigation roll. Uh,
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that's a 22. Okay. So, um, how much did you get? 13, Cory. So, 13. 13. You You look and
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go, there's no obvious signs of what killed these. Um, and when you're looking, Lionel,
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you're like, "Oh, they're not dead. They're just mindless." Oh. Oh, their brains got eaten by the things
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in the tube. No, they do have brains still. No, no, no. But like their mental like
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when I say brains, I mean like their mind got eaten. Yeah, their minds are gone. But you don't think the ones in the tubes could
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have died. No. like cuz because when uh Lionel contacted it mentally,
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it didn't there wasn't a threat. It's not not only was there not an active threat made that didn't feel
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threatening. It was like if if you had like a small tiger cub trying to like maul you and you just literally put your
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hand on its head and go like yeah okay that's not happening like it was disturbing and disgusting but it wasn't
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threatening the power it would take to do this even to beings who's mentally weak as the kuoa and right now there's a
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kua somewhere going hey um it's just no
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this is something else it's an order of magnitude more especially since there's four of them and they look to have all
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dropped around the same time well that's kind of impossible to establish But they're they're not none of them are more decayed than anybody else.
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Okay. Yes. I will explain this to everyone and kind of take a couple of steps back from
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them because this is having your mind destroyed is just terrifying to me.
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Now on the since you guys have the maps and the maps have mapped out the area to a degree, there's two ways to go here.
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There's straight ahead or there's taking a right and then going into that last room. Let's take a right.
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I think we should Yeah. thoroughly investigate, make sure there's nothing that's going to sneak up behind us or
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nothing that might be helpful in there that might be useful. Yeah, agreed.
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All right. As you're doing that, um you get down the passageway, you notice copper plates. It's actually visible. If
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you look at the the lines there, there's a series of copper plates on wall, wall,
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ceiling, floor, and they reoccur every like 5 to seven feet. There's another
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one. There's another one. There's another one. And they go all the way until you see a turn there. They don't
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seem to follow the corner. They just go from here to that corner. I'm going to toss one of the ball bearings that I made on a copper plate.
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Okay. What are they made of? The ball bearings, I think they're just like iron, but let me double check. Okay. The ball bearing grows quickly
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grows very very brightly red. Yeah. It's just a It's just a ball bearing. So, metal. Yeah.
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Oh, okay. Bright red, huh? Well, and now it's actually turning kind of white. And now it's sort of like it's
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it's not actually touching the copper cuz you're pretty sure if it was it would be melting a hole in the copper,
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right? But it's floating above the copper like a solid 2 in and just
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getting whiter and whiter and it's trying to melt but the force that is
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holding it up is preventing it from running away from itself. So it's just
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I think we don't want to go walking into that you guys. And I see if there's I it feels like to
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me that this is like a giant toaster. I mean that seems to be what's happening to the ball bearing but you
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toasting us. Yeah. Um, I'd like to see if I can find some way to disconnect this.
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Okay. Um, is there a power cord I can unplug? No, there's nothing way that's so
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obvious the power cord. You need to make some kind of check to see if you can find anything.
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Um, I also have my mage hand, which might be able to get to the other side. It is incorporeal.
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Uh, if I saw something on the other side. Okay. Okay. Well, you can make a check to see if you see anything.
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That's a dirty 20 on investigation. Even though it's pretty dark around here, um the you're close enough to that
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water column that the effects are really significant. Um, after a bit of searching and the incandescent white
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light that the ball bearing is generating as it is just melting and melting and melting and more and more
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heat's being put into it, you actually notice a sixpointed
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something like it's like six points coming down like almost like a a fan
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from something else, but you can't see the full details of it cuz it is just too shrouded in shadow. But you
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definitely see it. Whatever it is, it's over there. Does if does anyone else have ideas? Because otherwise I'm just
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going to try and grab that thing with my mage hand. I am not exactly uh pictured good idea
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today. That that might be the best idea. Try that. Go
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cuz I I don't want to go walking into that. Not when it's doing that to the ball bearing, which is still I'm
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assuming floating in white and viscous. Yeah, I have nothing. I will summon
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I will summon my mage hand and send it down there and try and grab this thing and just pull it off. Give it a yank.
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The mage hand is not very strong, but uh yeah, give it a try. The uh passageway doesn't seem to do
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anything to the hand. Okay. Um but when you get the hand over there,
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it's somewhat What's the range on mage hand? Uh it can move 30 feet away.
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Oh, okay. You're lucky. um standing right just outside of the copper plates,
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you can just get the mage hand to the far wall. So, the problem now is that 10 lbs of
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pulling doesn't feel like it's going to get the job done. But
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can it be pushed up or down? Like, is it a switch, a button?
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It's very It doesn't feel like it's a button. Doesn't go in when you push on it. It doesn't come out when you pull on
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it. It doesn't feel like it like it it doesn't feel like a solid piece of the
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wall either. Um, it definitely feels like there's there is movement possible, but you you
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with a 10 lb pull, you are not going to get it. We need something stronger than this, which I don't know what anyone else has.
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I don't have anything that I can like put through that thing. Wait. Hey, I have a crowbar. If your mage hand
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wants to use that, I mean, I could bring the mage hand back and grab the crowbar and see if it can
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prime with more leverage. Point out that you're all fully aware at this point that the crowbar would
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probably not survive the trip. Yeah. Oh, okay. Hey, Luther. We're very smart.
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Hey, Luther. He is. Uh, can you talk to Tim? Tim Tim kind of
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grabbed onto your back. Like, can can Tim move by himself?
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Tim literally drops off of his back, lands on the back of the hand that the
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glove is, and then flips over kind of like a like thing from the Adams family except a, you know, humansized glove,
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you know, or in this case, it works. And it's just like, hey, Tim, what kind of metal are you? Do
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you know? I I don't I don't even know if Tim understands me. Luther, are you going to try to ask Tim to go
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through the hallway and pull the lever? Yeah, why not? Uh,
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it's a glove that's supposed to take things apart, right? That's what they said. It had the power to destroy things or whatever. So, maybe it can destroy
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that copper thing. I am reticent to ask Tim to put life in danger after seeing what happened to Barbarian.
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Okay, but just just just ask him cuz the thing is is like the dragon turtle said, "Oh, no, it's a thing that can end all
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blah blah blah blah blah." And I haven't seen him do anything like that. He's been pretty cool. So maybe if he can
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like, you know, snap his fingers or something and make that copper stuff go away or melt or something. That would be
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cool. He could have defenses that would protect him. But well,
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we could also ask him to grab the scale and use it to cover himself itself. I I asked I asked Tim um Tim, they are
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asking if you would be survive the trip down hallway to pull the handle. I do
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not want to ask this of you. I I worry for your safety. I cannot pass through
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but I can do something else. The gauntlet moves forward on its fingers
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doing that kind of not quite a spider walk that a hand can do. Mhm. Mhm. And then drops its the gauntlet entrance
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down, lifts its hands up and begins twitching slightly. And then all the
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fingers go wide, full wide, and then all the way back down. So they're all
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touching on the the thumb. Kind of looking like Kermit the Frog. To be honest, if you were doing a Kermit the Frog thing, it would
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look similar. And then back out again. And when it does the back out again, there's like a
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as each copper plate, they all quiver and stop. Like you can tell that they've
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almost bent from the force of whatever he's doing. Like I can hold them off. What does the ball bearing do when he's
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doing this? Uh it falls to the ground and begins trying to burn its way through the rock
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of the floor. And it does get down there a bit before it cools down to the point where it can't melt rock any but it
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melts rock for a solid inch and a half. Okay. But it did cool off. Ordinarily rock doesn't melt as easily
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as iron does. So, this thing was really overheated. Who's really strong? Cuz I can't pull
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that thing. Yeah, that would be me. Okay, I will do my telepathic thing with
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him and say thank you. Can you hold this? Is this a problem?
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I can hold it. I rush forward to strain himself. Yeah, I'll I'll thank him using his real
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name in his head. Yeah, he doesn't respond at this point cuz you think he's it's starting to
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having to bear down. Yeah, I I I'm going to rush down as quick as possible. Okay. So, the two of you head down. What
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about the other two? I'll follow them. You come out of the panels, like the the
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copper plates, and there's about a 10-ft group, and there's a door to the side,
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but the door doesn't have any kind of opening mechanism on it that you can see. Uh but there is also there's a
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giant oval thing here with two depressions kind of on each side and
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multiple tendrils uh six of them on the
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middle part like coming down just covering whatever would be there. and then two on each end that have giant
28:45
flared pads on the end of them, like diamond shaped fleshy pads, except of
28:50
course carved into rock. Um, the thing is about 2 feet across and
28:55
it's it doesn't it's the opposite of exquisitly carved. It looks like it was hacked out of rock by a maniac, but it
29:02
is still recognizable as what I just said. It is it ma is it made of stone itself or something that was like buried in the
29:08
stone? It looks like it's a completely different kind of stone. Like this stuff is ignous rock.
29:15
Mhm. That thing you you know it could be like un unrefined ore of some sort.
29:23
Odd. So the thing that you were trying to pull with the mage hand, can we pull that now? Yeah. I'm assuming that Luther is going
29:29
to be the one pulling it. I just I crank on it. Athletics check.
29:35
Okay. It's above a 10. It's a 20. Uh, it takes you a bit of you have to brace
29:40
yourself and get your legs into the proper place and you're you're sitting going where where do I put my hands?
29:46
Finally, you just put your hands one on either side of the head kind of near the eye. And as you're getting yourself in
29:53
position, both of your thumbs kind of push into the eye sockets. And the side sockets depress. And it doesn't make it
30:01
easy to pull, but it makes it possible because as they depress, they push something that was gripping this thing
30:07
in. And now you're just moving the weight. The weight is, however, astonishingly heavy. It is so heavy. and
30:16
you began thinking about every time in your life where you thought you were going to fail at some and everyone who
30:24
didn't believe in you and everyone you lost that you loved and really what is the point of being alive? Why are we
30:31
here? What? And then your brain goes no no wait a minute I'm not like this. this is this thing is doing this and you hear
30:39
a click and that's when you you finally can let it go before it burrows further into your mind with this just horrible
30:47
emptiness, depression, whatever. Uh but it's it is now you hear a
30:53
and the doorway to the side that didn't have an obvious way of opening is now open.
30:58
Okay. Um I'm assuming that the the the trap is still a problem like if Tim lets
31:05
go. Do you think that to Tim? Yeah. No. And you feel like he's not he is now not straining himself.
31:12
It was difficult to keep the plates out of alignment but now there is nothing
31:18
moving between them. Okay. I kind of just offer my spot back to come up.
31:24
Yeah. And he clack clack clack clack clack. this gigantic thing from the Fathoms
31:31
family made out of like horrible black metal. Um, you realize as you look at the metal that Tim is made out of that
31:38
he is that metal just hammered and worked. Pleased you did not submit as I
31:43
did. Thank you. I Okay. Uh, so I'm looking at the door that doesn't
31:49
have anything to open it. It doesn't have anything. It's open now. Oh, it is. It slid open when he pulled
31:54
that thing out. Yeah. Um, can I see what's past it? Yep. What is it?
32:00
An eye. An eye. Mhm. Just an eye.
32:05
A 10 foot tall, 10t across eye with no
32:11
pupil, but instead a kind of
32:16
split that can be slid open or closed. And it's not in a head. It's just been
32:23
pulled out and left there. Is it looking around or is it like a dead eye? It's not moving.
32:29
Okay. You get the sense that you very much don't want it to do that. Don't want it to move. Yeah, I don't.
32:35
Um, so what's up with this thing? That is its eye. It grew back.
32:41
They studied this one for a long time. Is it an actual fleshy eye? Is it
32:46
decaying? Is it thing? It does look to be made out of vitrius humor of some kind, but it's vitrius
32:54
humor of an entirely different chemical composition. There's something about it that just
33:00
does not make sense. Um, with a medical roll, uh, I'm going to assume you can just beat a 10 and not make you roll for
33:06
it. Uh, you basically take a very you take a needle and like poke it and it
33:13
dents. The needle does not pierce it. Ew. So, yeah, whatever it is, uh, does not
33:21
feel the same as everything else around it. Is there anything else in the room for the eye?
33:26
Is there anything else? Uh, there's there's signs of basically there's like
33:32
divots on it. In the eye or in the room? On the on the eye. Oh. And the divots are pretty obviously
33:40
like if Tim went to his normal size, which was like four four times bigger than he was when he put himself on uh
33:47
Luther's back, he could have inflicted those. Hey Tim, what happened with that?
33:54
Tim can't talk to you. So I relay. I asked the question. They made me pull it out.
33:59
Uh they made them pull out. They couldn't he couldn't fight me because they were held there, the small
34:05
ones. And if it did anything, they would be killed. Oh, that's not good. Small ones are are
34:11
baby of this thing. Small one like the small like the back the back in the room. The back
34:17
the Yes. Yes. Yes. Those are babies. Yep. But they were big.
34:22
They are at spawn. Ew. Okay. Where's it at? The pathway we did not take.
34:29
Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Another door in here. But for for for ease of transition here, let's just I'm going to
34:36
I'm going to relay. Gotcha. There's a series of what look to be gold tools.
34:42
Um they're kind of like surgical tools except imagine a scalpel that a frost
34:50
giant could use or forceps or what have you.
34:55
They're tools. They're made of gold and they're enormous. Only gold. Is there a poke one?
35:00
Yeah, there's a scalpel right there. It's pretty obvious. Can I lift it? It's a gold thing that is like eight
35:06
feet across. Okay. So, I probably can't lift it because I'm only three foot two.
35:11
Okay. You'd basically need to have a strength 18 before I'd even let you try. Okay.
35:16
Can we ask Glover which uh tool of these he found was more effective?
35:22
They could only things dense enough to penetrate him, but they could not
35:28
actually cut. So none of these would help. It does not like gold, but it would not
35:35
die from gold. Like gold causes it damage. No, gold or it just doesn't.
35:40
Gold is disgusting to it. It is almost good enough, but it is not right. It is
35:46
too rigid, too inflexible. It is metal. This is flexible.
35:53
H. And is there are there any other rooms or anything like that around here or is it just this one room? Just the
35:59
one room. There's also there's also a toilet. Oh, it's just Well, toilet and sink. It
36:06
seems like a place people would go and try to cleanse themselves. And they can alcohol in it.
36:13
Yeah. Can I check for any hidden doors or things like that just in case?
36:19
Um, there's a cupboard underneath the uh the sink slash
36:24
washing basin and in it is our various cleaning supplies. Uh, and a ruby the size of a human fist.
36:31
Oh, well that I'm going to I'm going to pick that up. Okay. Okay. It doesn't
36:37
There's no will save or anything? It doesn't do anything. It's just It's just a blue ruby. I'm sure we can do something with this
36:43
in the future. Do any of the supplies look like they're corrosive? Yes, but they like you're getting the
36:50
sense that this thing's made out of stuff that just doesn't take damage. Okay. Like he pulled the eye out and it
36:57
just popped a new one into existence. Yeah. Okay.
37:04
Well, I think there's nothing to do but go and visit this Yep. thing.
37:10
And Okay. Uh you pass through the now seemingly deactivated copper plates. Um
37:18
as you get to the passageway, um you turn, you start heading down this
37:25
a pro almost like a solid 4 50 feet to get into the room. Uh as you're heading
37:31
down it, you notice that the air is again devoid of smell.
37:36
Great. But also the the walls like if anything, the light is less absorbed here, but the
37:44
color is not something you've ever seen. You realize as you're looking at it that
37:49
this is not a color you could describe to any because you you know you can't say well it's like red but a little
37:54
lighter. It's just it is a color you've never seen before and it doesn't resemble any color you have seen before.
38:00
Weird. Come upon a very large door um that just
38:06
past that door uh and you can see on the map cuz you can't the door is closed.
38:11
There's a passageway going further in and then a round platform and there seems to be what might be water all
38:18
around it. What does the water look like? At the moment you can't see it. It is
38:24
lighter on the map than the water that is black in real life. Um you remember
38:30
when you were looking at it that on your map thing that's a deep blue but when you were looking at it it's black. So,
38:38
this might not be like that, but it does get darker around a certain point. So, Mhm.
38:44
I I have a question actually. No. Um I'm going to look up at the ceiling because
38:49
I'm kind of curious since it's devoid of scent if the dragon turtle is around here somewhere.
38:54
No. Okay. Was were there any signs of where the dragon turtle went? Because I know
38:59
it was going down that hallway and stuff. The narrator goes, "There were signs of damage on the hallway, and as
39:07
you're saying this, a giant dragon turtle head comes over your shoulder and goes, I don't think there's any signs of
39:12
me anywhere else. I was pretty good at getting rid of them." Okay. Are you here with us? I mean, right here. Like, you literally
39:19
all see him. He's right there. Oh, hey. This is my mom, by the way. And then now
39:24
you look behind him. There is a full grown dragon turtle. Wow. Oh, hi. I say in draconic. You're sure they
39:32
didn't hurt you? Mom, don't you mom me. You were gone for 50s something orbits.
39:38
I had no idea where you were. Well, they, you know, the sorcerer people put me in a room with And if somebody had
39:44
been practicing their sorcery, would I have had to come get you? Well, technically, I already got myself out. Well, okay, they got me out. So, we
39:51
shouldn't eat them, I don't think. I mean, it was kind of a group effort cuz we got rid of three of the runes, but then he got rid of the last one and
39:57
he was really good at it. Well, we'd prefer it if you didn't eat us cuz we're trying to like take care of
40:03
whatever craziness happened here. Why are you here? They they dared touch one of my people
40:09
with my my flesh. My child, I laid that egg. That egg was big. Much bigger than normal eggs. I was
40:15
really hurting. Mom, do you want to tell a story about how big egg I was? Yes, I do. Every time I get the chance to.
40:22
Until such time as you weren't the biggest egg I ever laid. That might be a while. Um, do you know
40:28
what's going on in here? Death, destruction. Yeah, we're trying to take care of that. Do you want to help us out real quick?
40:33
Do us a solid. Yes. She rears her head back and just smashes her head through the door. You
40:40
know that she could never get her shell through this doorway. But she does smash her head through the door. And then you
40:45
hear and then a lot of screeching kuatoa. Oh boy. Oh.
40:51
And and smell is back. And it's the smell of burning fish or boiling fish or
40:56
boiling till they're gone fish. It's just it's it is it is quite something. Uh and she pulls
41:02
her head out and goes I no longer feel any more compulsion to help you small. Well, thank you for the help and and
41:09
please take your hopefully he he's learned to stay nearby by and not
41:15
running off. Yeah. Okay. And it's it wasn't too bad seeing you small talky things. And
41:23
I've never talked to a dragon turtle before. So it was a new experience for me, but a very good one. And I'm glad we
41:28
got to let you free. He turns and kind of looks at uh Lionel.
41:35
I don't speak your language in Draconic. If I if I see it looking at me and
41:42
talking, I'm going to do a telepathic link with it. Okay. So, just we don't have to share a language.
41:48
Oh, okay. All right. I don't speak your language. That's That's I think we can work with
41:54
this, but I just wanted to speak your language. Oh, okay. I appreciate you not eating us
41:59
earlier. No, no. I I I probably wouldn't have actually look like you have anything good and crunchy on you.
42:06
Um, but I'm just going to tell you, uh, the thing in there is really bad, so be careful.
42:11
Yeah, kind of. I kind of feel that. Yeah, we're going to do our best. And he turns and begins making his way
42:19
out. Uh his his mother is just ripping furrows in the walls as she goes through. You don't know how the heck
42:26
they got here. Like gashes form maybe. Like cuz otherwise she's like digging tunnels as she is away.
42:32
I mean, I'm assuming he was an egg maybe. Yeah, but I meant literally this part where she walked in just now to get him.
42:38
I have like you're like, "How did they sneak up on us?" Like we should have heard this. Uh, but they're they're going.
42:44
Bye. Thank you again. And now there's nothing in in front of you except for the horrible smell of
42:50
purbo boiled fish people and silent. Well, there. So, there's water in here.
42:57
Is there like water on the platform? I walk now. You're actually
43:02
Yes, I'm peering inside. As you peer inside, first off, you can see normally it's not dark. Um,
43:10
secondly, it again that that smell that smell is really unpleasant. There are
43:15
dozens of dead kuatoa in front of you. Okay, you would have had to get around these guys if not for the dragon turtle. So,
43:21
it was good that you didn't kill the dragon turtle. Um, if this were like Fallout or something, this would
43:27
literally be one of the points in the game where you benefited from your previous actions. Uh however on the
43:35
platform which is not the water is not in or on the platform. The water is just around the platform.
43:40
Okay. This is also appears to be like similar to the previous water in the other
43:46
chamber uh and not the black water. This appears to be the other kind. And
43:52
in the center of the room, there's a creature with one of its eyes bandaged
43:59
and it's wrapped in chain and has these huge curving teeth coming out of its
44:04
head. And it's twisting in the chains and kind of making a moan scream, moan
44:12
noise. And you know facing it is a very tall um
44:18
kuotoa that is desperately attempting to prevent it from managing to get free and
44:24
it just lo that kotoa just lost most of its followers and is now panicking as the warding magics are popping. So
44:31
that's what you see in that room. Imagine a oneeyed camera and you kind of that's what you've got going on in there.
44:36
And I'm going to assume that this uh kuatoa is about the gauntlet size. I
44:41
mean, yes. Well, I'm just asking if this would have been something that like that it would
44:46
have used the gauntlet to like deal with this thing or punch the Either way. I Oh, you mean the size to wear the
44:53
gauntlet? Yeah. Okay. He is the size to wear the gauntlet at the size it is currently at.
45:00
Okay. Which is still 4 ft across, but it was bigger. Yes. It was It was as big as a full
45:07
grown troll, a full-g grown orc. Now it is about as big as a full-grown human. Okay. But yes, it it is screeching and
45:14
attempting to reinforce some kind of binding magic that is very clearly based
45:20
on engraving and uh tinkering to a degree because it's using machine parts
45:26
from various devices that litter the room to try and create some sort of actually everybody here makes some kind
45:32
of arcane check. Mainly an arcane check uh to determine if you know what what it's doing.
45:38
12 21. 21. 22. Okay. So, everybody but uh Corey um
45:45
Corey is like I was distracted by watching the Dragon Turtle leave. Yeah. Corey is like the thing in the
45:51
center of the room. What is that? And everybody else is like going, he's attempting to make some kind of stasis
45:57
projector. What? Why would he know how to do that? How does he know how to do that? And that's when you realize he has
46:03
several of the disc mouth sucking monster fish things stuck to the back of
46:10
his head. Ew. Uh, are they spearing him? He's Johnny Monicking.
46:16
H, he's using them to suck the intelligence out of other things and then attach them
46:21
to download it into his brain. They're RAM sticks. Uh, yeah, I think Luther sees that and there is no more
46:27
hesitation. Uh we're just we're just going to move to to get in get up in the mix and kill this thing.
46:32
Okay, before you all roll because this is going to be the last time. Uh Luther
46:38
enlarge reduces cast on you the enlarge part. Yay. I big
46:43
Tim. You are now a large creature. Does this mean I can put the gauntlet on now?
46:49
No, but he's got five fingers. Each one casts enlarge on you.
46:55
I'm sorry. What? How big am I now? You go from normal. You go from medium to
47:00
large, large to huge, huge to to colossal.
47:05
Luther Kaiu, you are now 90 feet tall. Luther Kaiu.
47:11
And yes, you can wear the glove. I put the glove on cuz the glove is also bigger than it was.
47:16
I did not see this coming. Did you slide that on? Nope. Sure did not see this coming. He says you did not you did not want
47:23
power before. Uh, unfortunately I have to give it to you now. I was going to say this is not exactly a
47:29
want. This is a need. Wrong must be right. Yeah, I'm just glancing over at Corel and Royal. Did you know he could do
47:36
that? And and for the heck of it, I war out at the same time because why not? I'm just going to be a gigantic colossal pigman.
47:43
As he's doing that, um, Tim reaches out and basically casts the equivalent of a
47:49
hero's feast on all of you. Ooh, what do we get? Hero's feast like
47:55
you. Look up the spell. I'm I'm I don't have the spell ready. I'm sorry. I wasn't actually thinking this we would
48:00
get to this point. Um yeah, so you you can't uh what is it?
48:06
It's uh uh advantage on wisdom saving throws. Immune to disease poison. You
48:11
can't be frightened. Okay. You're cured of all diseases and poison. You become immune to poison and being frightened. And all wisdom saving
48:18
throws are done with advantage. And your hit point maximum is also increases by
48:24
2d10. 2d10. Just take the maximum. Oh, okay. So 20. Cool.
48:29
Yes. Is it hit point maximum or do we get temp hit points? Hit point maximum.
48:35
Yeah, you 2d10 you get 20 hit points on top of the hit points you have. But now
48:40
let's get some initiatives in here.
48:45
Is it happening? Remember to add a d4.
48:51
I get 2d4 cuz I get one from you and I get one from Oh my god. I got a nine
48:58
with 2d4. D4 with 2d4. 2d4. I got a nine.
49:03
What? Okay, Cory. Corielle, how did you roll? I have six cuz I rolled an at one again.
49:11
You got one more than last time with an at one. Yeah, cuz I rolled a two on the
49:17
d4 instead of a one. Wait, is it two d4? No, just one d just one d4. Yeah. So, six. Yes,
49:25
six. Great. So, you're one better. Uh Roy, what did you get? Uh I rolled a 15 and then uh three on
49:33
the d4. So, I've got 18. Okay, Roy is up significantly. I actually have a 12. I rolled not
49:40
great, but better than some of us. Oh god, I'm first. Oh god. Uh, I've got
49:47
You're not first. One. Uh, yeah, there are other individuals in this combat.
49:52
Don't know. So, does it get to go first? We're at first. The uh thing with the it again,
50:00
it looks vaguely like a Kuatoa, but it's got like those leech monster things jammed into its back of its skull. Turns
50:06
and sees you and turns the uh stasis cannon and attempts to fire. He can pick
50:11
two of you. He has no idea who's who, but he does know one of you is enormous,
50:17
so he'll aim for the giant. Uh, okay. Um, keep in mind that you're you're
50:24
gargantuan, but I'm pretty sure that a 10's not going to hit you, right? Uh, no. Okay. So, yeah, he fires two really
50:31
powerful stasis blasts that go wild and don't hit him. Uh, and that's pretty
50:36
much it for him. Uh, he's like now. Uh, and then the giant monster thing
50:44
like pulls itself out of the flesh that's holding it. Um, it's being it's like imprisoned
50:51
inside a dragon that then twisted into the form that it had. Uh, it rips itself
50:56
out of that and takes on the form of an enormous like gigantic wings pull out of
51:05
its back. They're they're hundred feet across and it's enormous head has these
51:12
huge cyclopian eyes but two of them. Um so it's kind of disturbing and these
51:18
tendrils coming down from its bloated palid greenish body and it's like a
51:25
mountain of muck and violence with these huge stocky feet as it rears up to its
51:32
full 150 ft height. and screeches out a horrible call like
51:42
and everyone in the room feels like their soul just got, you know, an
51:48
excited horribleness has has occurred in this chamber. And uh that's what it
51:53
does. It doesn't seem to affect any of you, but yeah. Um of all of you, Rory,
52:00
you are the one that hears with your elf ears. Um, you hear like a noise like
52:06
something wet hitting the floor behind you like about a hundred or so feet
52:11
back. I'm gonna turn and look and then just tell everyone I think something's coming
52:17
from the other room. And now you're up, Rory. Okay, I'm just going to toss a bottle of
52:25
Alchemist Fire at Lamprey Head. Okay, go ahead. So, I'm just going to Dexit 11. No,
52:33
sorry if 11 is 11. But you still have a bonus action and move, right?
52:38
Yeah, my bonus action here won't do much. But I guess I'll just I'll move to
52:45
get into better range of lamprey head, but kind of stay out of our giant's way.
52:52
Okay. Um then that means next up is Lionel.
52:57
Okay. Is it just the lamprey head or is that the lamprey head and a dragon turtle? Is it like the corpse of a
53:04
dragon turtle? It is now the corpse of a dragon turtle. Okay. And the dragon turtle's corpse is
53:09
literally being cannibalized. Uh it feels like at one point this thing was something else and they did something to
53:17
it. It's actually not that dissimilar from the thing you saw the Kuatoa do where it put itself in another body.
53:24
Okay. Okay. Except it feels like it was forced to do it and now it's using it's it's ripping itself out of the dragon body.
53:31
Okay. Were there were there any other any living kuatoa? Not in this room. Um
53:36
I mean there there were a lot of living kuatoa. It literally walked past living kuatoa.
53:42
Yeah. Dragon turtle killed them and then decided it was done and didn't want to go in that room possibly because of the
53:49
thing happening in front of Okay. Um, I want a fairy fire. And
53:54
that's a DC10 deck save. Just DC10. Yeah. Sorry, 14.
54:00
Okay. Uh, lamper head does not make that save. Um. Oh. Uh, so it is now glowing and uh
54:09
can't go invisible, nor can anything anything that failed the save within 20 ft.
54:14
Okay. Um um the gigantic corpse of a dragon turtle that is being ripped apart
54:21
also doesn't succeed. Okay. But the thing coming out of it does succeed. Uhhuh.
54:26
So Okay. For right now it's vulnerable because it's inside that body. But that's not
54:33
going to be the case much longer. Um so advantage over on attack rolls against the things that did not succeed.
54:39
If there are any items in that range, they're also outlined. No saving throw.
54:44
There's that that's that that uh stasis machine and all the machines that were cannibalized down to make parts and all
54:51
a lot of bodies would all be as yeah objects are outlined in case
54:57
there was anything useful in that mess. So the there's a thing coming out of the dragon turtle. Um
55:04
I think all I have is um well I'm going to try to telekinetic shove it cuz
55:11
that's my only bonus action. Uh, it's a DC10 strength save to try and
55:17
it's strength bonus such that it couldn't possibly fail this. Oh, DC14. I keep doing that wrong, but
55:23
yeah, that's not much more. It's there's there is no way it can roll less than a 20.
55:28
Okay. Wow. That's uh that's ungood. Well, that is all I have that I can
55:36
150 foot tall monster. It's not Yeah. Well, you know, I I gotta try. I got to try.
55:41
I got you. I got you. This is all I can do. That's That's it. I'm gonna make sure I have backed up. I
55:50
don't want to be in melee range if I can. Nobody Nobody Nobody is going to be in
55:55
melee range of this thing as long as you're behind me. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And as at that point, uh, as
56:01
Lionel backs away, Luther, you're up. Uh, I I I'm assuming I'm still mentally
56:08
linked with Tim, so I'll just ask. Both big thing, little thing need to go. Yeah. Yes, but the little one is crafty
56:15
but less of a threat to us. All right, I grapple the big thing because I have a plus 16 to grapple as a
56:21
size bonus. Okay. Um that's athletics opposed. Yeah, he doesn't roll the 32 that you
56:29
actually have. Um because you also have the gift of power that he gave you.
56:34
Uh so I'm at a 32 base. So that's going to be what? No, you win. you want. You have grappled
56:42
him. Yeah. So, I only get one attack. So, I'm going to grapple. Um, right. He's grappled. So, this thing is only going to uh be
56:49
able to deal with me and my bonus action. Doesn't grapple mean it can't move?
56:54
Correct. Okay. Uh uh.
56:59
Yes. It can try to get out of it, but that's really it. I can still attack with one hand. It can still attack and
57:05
cast spells, but I am its primary primary until it gets out. stuck on you. Gotcha.
57:11
All right, that's all I can do. None of my none of my bonus actions are useful. That's what Luther does. Um
57:17
I believe at this point we've had everybody but Corin uh Corel. So
57:23
yeah, you're up. How far away am I from Mr. Dude with the things coming out of the back of his
57:29
head? I say about 30 feet because I'm assuming that when initiative he he was trying to
57:36
use a stasis machine on Luther. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Although now he's seen you guys too, so
57:41
he will probably start trying to get you as well. Yeah. Well, that would be cool and everything except that um I'm going to
57:47
like clonk out my force cannon, the force ballista. Okay. And I'm going to fire it at the stasis
57:54
machine. Oh. Which I'm assuming is got fury fire on it. Yeah. So I get advantage. Yeah.
58:00
Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to fire. That is a 19 to hit. That'll definitely hit.
58:05
Cool. Uh, it does 13 force damage on it. Okay. Also, um, if the target is a creature,
58:14
it gets pushed away, but I'm assuming it's not a creature, so it doesn't get pushed anywhere. It just gets takes
58:19
damage. Yep. Okay, that's it. It's It definitely didn't enjoy being
58:24
shot. And then that was actually um my bonus action.
58:29
Okay. So, on my regular action, hang on. artificers, ladies and gentlemen. Huge
58:36
toolkits. Yeah. So, um, on my regular action, I'm going to, uh, How close is Mr. Worm Head
58:43
Guy to the giant colossal snake dude? Oh, he wasn't very close to him, and it
58:50
was coming at him as it was ripping its way out of the body that they'd imprisoned it in. Uh-huh.
58:55
Uh, then Joe came up and grappled it. Uh, are they within 30 feet of each other or
59:01
No, no, they are not. But they are within 50 feet of each other. Okay. But Mr. Dude is near me. Yeah,
59:10
he is 30 feet away from you and like 50 feet away from that thing. Okay, cool. So, I'm going to use my
59:17
action to cast Bane on the dude with the worms coming out of his head. Um, he needs to make a charisma savings throw.
59:23
B to 12. He doesn't. Okay. So then um if he uh makes an
59:29
attack roll or a saving throw, he has to subtract 1d4 from it. All righty. 1d4. Gotcha. He's not doing
59:36
anything right now, but yeah, you got him. No, but he probably will. And that's it. That's all my stuff.
59:42
All right. Top of the order. And I believe Roy, you go first.
59:48
Isn't it monster things before me? The you see two giant monsters in front
59:53
of you. One of them is like, you know, or ogre sized or big orc sized. One is building sized. That one has a shifter
1:00:02
before him in the turn order is what he says. Yeah. No, they go after the first person who goes
1:00:07
Okay. Oh, okay. Um, okay. So, this is a question for DM.
1:00:13
Is are we considering the dragon corpse like a reg like just an object? It's not
1:00:20
clearly not alive anymore. It's actually it's descriptive text. It is part of the
1:00:26
thing that is coming out of it at the moment. So right now it's just it's like its legs and trunk are this destroyed
1:00:33
half exploded body of a giant dragon turtle while like all sorts of matter is flowing up like assimilating it.
1:00:41
Yeah. or it's essentially rebuilding itself out of it because its bone, its body was taken from it when it was put
1:00:48
into the dragon turtle because the the dragon turtle was so resistant to it that it could contain it. Okay, I have another question and please
1:00:55
feel free to tell me no. Would you allow me to cast mend on the dragon turtle to
1:01:01
try and put the dragon turtle back together and stop it from getting out,
1:01:06
giving Luther more time to deal with it? I don't think mend works on bodies. Men
1:01:12
Men is on non-living. Yeah. Yeah. I was asking if it was alive or dead. It's dead, but it doesn't I don't think
1:01:18
men works on meat. It's Yeah, it's flesh. It doesn't work on flesh. Got it.
1:01:25
Man, it would have been cool if I'd actually played a reanimator. I know, right?
1:01:30
The things the trouble I could get into right now. Oh god. Okay, I guess we're just I'm
1:01:38
just going to do another ray of sickness at lampry head then. Okay, does a 15 hit.
1:01:43
Um, actually cuz he is large, he has a slight penalty to being attacked.
1:01:49
Um, so yes, one advantage. Yes, advantage. Ah, hold on.
1:01:56
Lamprehead does you you do hit him though, so you might roll and get a crit, so go ahead. But you know, you did
1:02:01
hit him with a 15 cuz T definitely rolled lower on the second time. So, we're going to go with the 15. Yeah, ties work for the the attacker.
1:02:08
So, go for it. Okay. Uh, so that was 15. And then, so the damage would be nine poison damage.
1:02:17
Okay. He has nine poison damage and is poisoned. And I'm out of alchemist fire. I've got
1:02:23
a dagger and some rope and cow drops. I think that's it for me. All righty. Now, it is in fact the turn
1:02:29
of a bunch of other things. First up, Yeah. Okay. You guys are going to hear this. Um, there's a lot of slurping and
1:02:37
sucking and and screeching noises coming down the hallway from the black fountain.
1:02:42
Ew. They they heard their parent scream and they are coming. Um,
1:02:49
that's that's part one. You don't know how close they are yet. You don't see them yet, but but you hear them. Um,
1:02:55
next up, Captain, you shot my cannon and I have worms trying to feed me information into my brain. is now
1:03:02
looking around going, "Oh, there's just so many people." And he's going to try to shoot both uh Royale and Corel. First
1:03:11
up on Corale. There's a nine going to hit you. Nope. Okay. Next up on Roy. It's on my
1:03:17
keyboard, so it doesn't count. Yeah. No, he he misses twice with the stasis
1:03:22
cannon. Oh boy. Stasis cannon was such a thing. Yeah. He
1:03:29
doesn't hit anybody. And uh Big Giant is going to try and get out of the grapple.
1:03:35
Contested. What's your bonus? Your bonus is 16, but it's multiplied by two, so it's 30. Yeah.
1:03:41
Okay. He's pretty strong, but I don't know if he's going to beat that. He's probably not. I'm got a 56.
1:03:50
Yeah, he rolled a 40. So, a val, you know, valant effort. Uh, however, he can
1:03:56
still make attacks on you. Sure can. And he is going to try to Yeah. All
1:04:04
right. His first attack is a mind lance, which is a straightup attack. He rolled
1:04:09
a 18 to hit. Yep. Unfortunately, because of my minus eight to armor, it hits.
1:04:14
Uh, and he slaps the two big tentacles with the triangular pods. One slaps in
1:04:22
each side of your head. You don't take damage, but you do feel this is bad and
1:04:28
you don't want them there. Um Tim in fact says, "We do not wish you to be doing this. We need to remove them."
1:04:35
Yep. I kind of had a feeling. And then finally,
1:04:41
um this room and everything around it begins to shake violently. Everybody
1:04:46
make a DC15 strength or con check to avoid being
1:04:51
knocked. Save or check? Save. My bad.
1:04:57
It's going to be a big old nine for me. You're not going to. It's a nine, but you have an enormous strength bonus now.
1:05:03
Oh, okay. Yeah, that's an 11 for me. Okay. Uh Joe Joe succeeds. Um the 18 succeeds. Uh the
1:05:12
11 does not. 21. 21 succeeds. So all of all of you only
1:05:19
uh I keep want to say L'Oreal and it's really annoying. Um Lionel is the only
1:05:25
one who does not see and is not frown. But that's all there goes. Um because of
1:05:32
that grapple uh so the thing couldn't lash out with its tentacles on anybody else. And yeah, so next up I believe is
1:05:40
in fact Lion Elf. Okay. Um Mhm.
1:05:46
You got to get back up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. It's halfway to get up.
1:05:52
Yeah. Not terrible. Um H Well, I'm going to Oh gosh, there
1:05:58
are things coming from behind us. Um how wide is this platform that we're on?
1:06:04
Like we're on a walkway through here. Yeah. Um we're not on the walkway anymore. We're actually in the center of
1:06:09
it. However, um the standable part isn't. There's actually an edge of water
1:06:15
that can be stood on. It's not ice. It's just water, but it's water you can stand on.
1:06:21
Uh with that included, it's like 50 feet across. Um the cavern is huge in terms
1:06:28
of height because both uh both uh Luther and the
1:06:33
monster thing are well like Luther's 90 something feet tall and the monster thing is like 120. So,
1:06:40
uhhuh. Um, there's not a lot of room for them to move around on the platform, even with the the water that you can stand on.
1:06:47
Yeah, the the walkway into this area is
1:06:52
like five or 10 feet wide, though. Yep. I'm going to say 10 feet because this map is one I borrowed and repurposed.
1:07:00
Yeah. I would have made this room bigger if I could draw. Uh, I would like to cast grease on the
1:07:09
walkway. So, anything coming up behind us is going to walk through this grease and has to make a Dex 14 save or fall
1:07:18
prone. Anyone that enters this area or ends its turn in this area. Um, it is a
1:07:26
10ft cube, so it will just cover an entire section of this uh of this of
1:07:33
this walkway coming in here. So, hopefully I can at least slow down anything coming behind us.
1:07:39
Okay, it's creepy. Was there Yeah. Was there someone manning the stasis gun?
1:07:45
Yeah, the creature that is holding it. I mean, he's not really holding it anymore cuz he got shot. Uh, he tried
1:07:52
firing it. Is he dead? No, he's not dead. He just He's standing
1:07:57
there. It's on a It's on a swivel and he just he turned it and shot and then turned and shot. He's not holding it.
1:08:05
It's bolted to the ground. Got like a stud. Uh, a telekinetic shove strength save DC1-14.
1:08:11
Okay. On him or on the thing? On him. Okay. Try to push him away.
1:08:16
Uh, he does not succeed. Okay. He's pushed back five feet from the thing. So, not very far, but he's
1:08:22
not on the gun right now. And that's all I got. All right. Uh, that's uh Lionel. So,
1:08:30
next up after Lionel is Cory. Did Luther go? Did you go, Luther? Not this.
1:08:36
Yeah, you're a nine. You didn't go. Uh, Luc and I'm going to maintain my grapple,
1:08:41
but I'm ripping these things off me. Okay. So, unarmed attack, I'm assuming. Uh, yeah, that would work.
1:08:48
Uh, 10 plus whatever. Yeah, you're going to hit it. It's literally like touching your head. It's not that hard to hit
1:08:54
something that's like literally stuck to your face. Yeah. So, I just rip them off and maintain the grapple because I only have one attack a turn. Uh
1:09:01
bonus action. I am going to cast sanctuary on myself. So, okay.
1:09:06
It's going to have to succeed a wisdom saving throw uh whenever it tries to attack me forever attack it.
1:09:12
But you're still grappling it. Oh, 100%. Okay. Because grappling is not an attack.
1:09:17
Yeah. You feel a grim chuckle from Tim in your mind. Okay.
1:09:22
I mean, he doesn't have to make the save now. He has to make the save whenever he gets to go. Yep. So, there's no save right now. Right
1:09:28
now, the spell has just been cast. Um, so yeah. Uh, you can't move cuz you're grappling. I mean, you could drag him
1:09:35
around. I could, but I'm not going to. But that's it for Luther. Okay. Tim cast haste. Uh, Luther, you're hasted.
1:09:42
Okay. Well, I can't do anything. My turn's already my turn's already passed, so I understand. Um, Corel,
1:09:49
now I'm going to go again. Um, and gun still stasis gun still has fiery fire on it.
1:09:55
Yep, it does. Okay, cool. So, I'm going to attack that thing again with my force ballista as a bonus action.
1:10:00
Gotcha. Uh, 22 to hit. That's going to hit. And another 13 damage, force damage on
1:10:06
it. Okay. Uh, at this point, the pivot that holds it to the spike that goes into the
1:10:11
ground that so it it rotates around breaks off and the stasis the stasis
1:10:17
cannon drops to the ground. Is it inactive or is it just Well, you broke you broke the pivot and
1:10:25
you you'd have to make like some kind of role to know whether or not you've done enough damage to it that it's not
1:10:30
fireable. Um, but it's not looking great. What do you make for that? Uh, I'm going to say investigate or perception. And
1:10:37
perception probably would do better here because you'd get advantage. I'm doing investigate because Yeah. Uh,
1:10:45
actually, no, wait, that's just attacks. Okay. Um, no, actually, can I use an
1:10:51
item? Yes, as long as it can be interacted with in one go. Um, it's just one charge. Uh, it's I'm
1:10:59
going to pull out a little amulet and it looks like a piece of clockwork that's going around. And what that clockwork
1:11:04
does is I can forgo rolling the d20 to just get a d10 on the die. Okay.
1:11:09
It's a clockwork amulet. It's all right. So dead after this. You're getting 10 on your die of your
1:11:16
plus four. Okay. So 14. Yeah. The gun can be fired again, but if you
1:11:22
were there, you wouldn't fire it. That would not be a good idea. Okay. and my Clockwork ambullet just
1:11:28
kind of falls apart. All right, cool. Thank you. So, that's Corell at six. So, now we go
1:11:34
back around to Roy. Okay. Um, wait. I'm going to Wait. Okay.
1:11:40
Firing the ballista was a bonus action. Yeah. And then I assumed you use an action for the ability to tell whether
1:11:46
or not the thing was broken. Oh, yes. Okay. No, we're good. Go ahead. Sorry. going to utilize as an action cow
1:11:53
drops and spread them over the grease to help buy us some time. Oh, we need a druid to cast and tangle
1:12:00
or whatever the thorns that they can do. No druids, all artificers.
1:12:06
You just got to all the time. Um, from there, that's I mean, that was my
1:12:14
action. My bonus actions are pretty tame. So, I'm just going to move closer towards the broken gun now or the broken
1:12:21
stasis cannon now. Try and back up Corel. Okay. Um, monster time. A lot of more
1:12:27
slurping and crunching and, you know, horribly disturbing noises. Um, they hit
1:12:33
the grease. I'm assuming you put the cow trops behind the grease.
1:12:38
Stringled in the grease. Okay. As they hit the grease, it occurs to you that they're already flopping
1:12:43
around prone on the ground. They're they're not capable of walking. They are like fish monsters with with giant spiky
1:12:50
teeth heads. So, they were already drunk. They're not up. They can't get
1:12:55
up. They're not in water. Um but Greece also makes it, you know,
1:13:01
makes it difficult terrain. Yeah. So, they're flopping in difficult terrain. They can't go as fast and they
1:13:06
couldn't go that fast to begin with. And of course, now they're going over cow drops. What's the damage on Calrops?
1:13:11
They have to succeed a 15 dexterity save or two. That's not happening. Yeah. And they have zero speed until the
1:13:18
start of their next turn, which they pretty much didn't have close to. Yeah. You've completely immobilized
1:13:23
these fish monsters and they take damage. Yes. So, you turn these these fish
1:13:31
creatures inside the cow drop field. Yeah. Um the their flesh is strange and
1:13:38
alien, but they still don't seem to be having fun. Uh so yeah, that's what happens with them. Um Lamprey Head, he's
1:13:46
like looking around trying to figure out what to do, and he decides to go for old standby, the stasis cannon. He drops
1:13:52
down to it, grabs it, pulls it up in his hand, uh, aims it directly at that
1:13:58
really annoying halfling who just won't stop, pulls the trigger, and let's roll.
1:14:06
Okay. Um, rips a hole in time and space
1:14:13
and he spaghettifies himself through it. Ew. as the stasis gun becomes a
1:14:21
singularity gun located on him. Then he's gone and the lamp rays all
1:14:28
fall to the ground like their head parts gone because those were still stuck on the back of his head and the gun is
1:14:35
still there. Huh. It became a singularity gun. It seems to be what it did this time.
1:14:41
Oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't put money on knowing what it's going to do on another firing. Let's put it that way. Yeah. No, but he's gone.
1:14:48
He's gone. Oh, and then finally, Tentacle Head is going to try and rip free. This is not the
1:14:56
kind of thing you can crit. So, even with a 20, he gets a 49. Uh, 18 plus 32, so 50.
1:15:05
50. So, even with this most titanic of convulsions, it can't get your grip off
1:15:10
it. And that means it can just try to do the tentacle thing again. But you ripped
1:15:16
one of them off last time, so it can't do that again. It doesn't have this. It's the one tentacle is on you, the
1:15:23
other tentacle has been ripped off. It can't use its ability. So instead, it's just going to straight up try to bludgeon you in the face with its
1:15:28
tentacles. Wisdom saving throw, please. Uh, is 17 good enough? Yep.
1:15:34
Okay. Now, do I have to roll that every time he has multi attack? Every time until I attack. Okay. No, but I mean when it
1:15:41
attack, every single attack. Okay. Next one is a 12. Does a 12 pass
1:15:47
or fail? Uh 12 uh technically passes. Okay. So, he does get to do two of his
1:15:53
lesser tentacles in your fifth, but he isn't hit, which is just uh Okay. Yeah, he he slips his tentacles
1:16:00
out. He's like so angry that he's managed to get past the sanctuary spell, but he missed both.
1:16:06
Cool. So, that's his go because he can't move. And yeah, you're up, Luther.
1:16:12
All right. Uh, so this is the thing like one of its eyes is missing already, right? No, it grew the other one back.
1:16:19
Oh, cool. I rip it out. Okay. I'm using Tim for that. Yeah, I am 100% using Tim for this. I
1:16:25
have Tim on. I'm wearing Tim. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to uh rip it out. So, what is
1:16:30
that? I used Tim to rip out his eye. Uh 21 plus whatever my size bonus is.
1:16:36
That's going to hit. Uh and that's on the first attack. So, I'm going to just try to yank this thing out. I don't know what the damage is or
1:16:42
what you want me to do for I'm gonna say treat it like a unarmed an armed strike. Then I'm gonna make it a thunder pulse
1:16:48
attack then. Okay. But what I was gonna say is it would have been a one unarmed strike with a 2d20 is the roll.
1:16:55
Okay. So then I'm going to add a d8 to that. Um see being nice to the glove actually does pay off.
1:17:01
Uh 34 on the dice plus whatever the strength bonus is. Uh, plus another five
1:17:09
thunder damage and it'll have disadvantage. That's just the first attack. The strength bonus is 16. All right. So, what is that? 40 50 55
1:17:18
points of damage. Uh, okay. To the eye. As I rip it out or try to rip it out, you rip it out.
1:17:24
Okay, cool. Uh, second attack I'm going to do to the other eye. Okay.
1:17:29
Uh, 16 plus size bonus. That's going to hit. Uh, and then another whatever damage. So
1:17:36
the thing if you can let me know if you get above a 45 uh
1:17:43
uh 38 on the dice uh plus another nine plus
1:17:48
uh whatever the size the strength bonus is currently. So yes that's above 45. So
1:17:53
that's going to be like 60 something I think. Um he he loses control of the cohesion
1:18:00
between its existence and the body it was imprisoned in. Uh, you've ripped out both of its eyes. It's the eyes it was
1:18:07
regrowing from its gash in its like plasma state. Um, when you do this, you
1:18:13
essentially you don't kill it because you know that is not dead.
1:18:19
Yeah. It it's essentially the body becomes too difficult for it to to escape and create a corporeal one. So,
1:18:26
it just escapes. It's like, nope, I'm done. I'm out. and
1:18:31
leaves this plane of existence rather than be physically killed in it. Um, which is still better than the
1:18:36
alternative. And you have two gigantic octopus eyes on the ground. Uh, but
1:18:43
yeah, the screaming lampray like monsters are little difficulty to you
1:18:49
now as you can literally just walk over and use him to smash them all flat. um
1:18:55
the way he did in the past when he was used to torture this thing. And you guys
1:19:00
have won. You have saved the day. At least some part of what made the Mour land so
1:19:07
horrible is now no longer in this plane of existence. As you walk out, the giant fountain of blackish blood water is now
1:19:15
slowly returning to being normal watercolor. Although there are giant dead lamprey things floating in it,
1:19:22
but you know, can't have everything. uh as you walk your way through the uh and
1:19:27
you know through the dragon turtle, it's much easier for you to to scoop the enormous amount of gold out of that room
1:19:33
now that you have Tim actually working with you fully. Uh he does have to
1:19:38
shrink you back down considerably. Oh yeah, that's fine. you you but he can still keep you at like huge because
1:19:43
that's about the size of the dragon turtle and as long as you stoop you can get down that hallway and get this like
1:19:48
gigantic handfuls of gold out and carry them into a giant dragon turtle-shaped hallway now
1:19:54
isn't it? I make it very clear to Tim that this is his choice and I am not demanding it of him.
1:20:01
You're going to need a lot of money to figure out how to put me in a body. Yeah, we we we can we can make that
1:20:06
work. I I assume we're going to take as much of that gold as we can carry. Yeah, you're literally
1:20:12
Yeah. I mean, it's 72,000 gold pieces. Even split four ways. That's a lot of
1:20:17
money. Yeah. Well, and so as you were coming out with your mountain of gold being carried in your
1:20:22
gigantic fist, you've actually crushed it down to the point where it's not really coins anymore. It's just it's just gold.
1:20:29
How many of us have bags of holding? That's the real question. I don't think any of you did. I don't. I don't have one, but I can
1:20:35
make one real quick. Oh, yeah. Well, if we take a long rest, I could make one.
1:20:40
Not tremendously important for the story. Uh, as you walk out and the the
1:20:46
water is lightening up around you, you leave knowing very little about what
1:20:52
actually happened here other than they were doing bad things to worse things. And now that's over. But you got a
1:20:58
talking metal hand out of it and a lot of money and some weird
1:21:03
gold surgical instruments that are way too big as well. And dragon turtle friends.
1:21:09
I'm sorry, Liz. We made the Morland safer. Like I'm not
1:21:14
potentially it's less poisonous on the shore. You're you're pretty sure that
1:21:20
a tiny bit less deadly. Yeah. The more lands were the result of so many things happening that nobody could possibly tell you. Yeah. We're uh
1:21:27
we made progress. We did good. You got rid of one of the many many awful things here. Uh, but yes, that's been Yes, it's
1:21:36
all adventurers all the way down. And now you guys know why I named it that. Um,
1:21:41
because a lot of more dragon turtles than you were expecting. Uh, yeah. Yeah. What' you all think?
1:21:47
At least at least three dragon turtles more than I was expecting. Yeah, the chaos was appreciated.
1:21:54
I'm very glad that I chose to speak Draconic as one of my language. Yeah, that definitely helped. See, I I I
1:22:01
just uh for language choices, I rolled the dice and I got common sign language
1:22:06
and dwarfish. So, here I am. Dwarfish got it so that one guy could insult you,
1:22:11
which was, you know, at least you guys had that moment. I'm going to kill you. Okay.
1:22:17
Okay. Okay. Well, that was kind of obvious. So, in this week's session, um, uh,
1:22:25
Coriel befriended Dragon Turtles. Um, Luther ripped Cthulhu's eyes out because
1:22:30
that was Cthulhu. Sweet. Um, and the thing he was in was Deeon from Final Fantasy.
1:22:36
Great. That's why I made it a Dragon Turtle because that's what that thing is. Um, it's basically Gameamra. I mean, come
1:22:42
on. And then as addition to all that, um, Liz, I I honestly thought I thought
1:22:51
you were going to die so many times and nothing happened to you. It was amazing.
1:22:56
I know. You didn't go into water. You didn't just like, wow, I I thought I have the I'm pretty sure I
1:23:03
have the lowest armor class. I know I have the lowest hit points. So, I was like, yeah, I'm in trouble. I'm up here.
1:23:10
Having do the swamp thing was great. The swap thing was great.
1:23:15
Yeah. I was just trying I was trying to make uh do smarter choices, but probably saved your bacon.
1:23:23
Yeah, the swap thing is really good. Um quite frankly, I was not expecting that and it was very effective.
1:23:28
Yeah, the uh the the armor if with the dragon mark of the sentinel is is very very good. Um because if you go into
1:23:35
specializing with the guardian armor, it all synergizes really well together. We could talk about this on a tavern watch.
1:23:41
Um yeah, but like tanky tanky. It's finally um yeah, it's very it's very good at
1:23:46
keeping the party safe. Also, Roy, I got to say you made very clutch moves at the end there because
1:23:52
those things were going to get come get up there. And when you stop them at zero, like grease wouldn't do much cuz
1:23:57
they're already prone, but the cow drops stopping them entirely. That was very well done. That
1:24:04
was an excellent move because yeah, my my only other move that I had was like, well, what if I shoot this cannon at
1:24:10
like the entrance to the room? Would it collapse it? But then how would we get out? And yeah, the cow drops was a way
1:24:16
better idea. I mean, it just happened to sip with the grease shot. So, we just created death
1:24:22
loop, which I was really happy about. Good job, Liz. That's the cooperation. And the fact
1:24:27
that you guys did I I deliberately created three things and one of them you didn't actually do uh because I I just
1:24:35
felt like we didn't have enough time. But I created three things of two of which you guys met and in both of those cases you did the difficult to do make
1:24:43
friends with it packed. Like make friends with it is always the most fun part. The only way for that to work with the
1:24:49
dragon turtle and that's the only way to get the mom dragon turtle to kill all the kua for you.
1:24:56
You know, Matt, if you give us the option to make friends with something, give us a crazy friend to make. I'm
1:25:02
gonna make a crazy friend. And well, it did work. And so, yes, this has been our all all artificers game. I
1:25:09
hope you guys enjoyed it both at home and the people who got to play it. And um yeah, that's it. Bye everybody.
1:25:16
Bye bye. Bye. Bye.
1:25:22
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1:25:41
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