Is there anything cuter than a lil pig?

It’s another edition of Distractions from the Escalating Dumpster Fire That Is Our Time — this time featuring a plethora of pretty piggies! While they sometimes get a bad rap due to their seemingly messy nature and voracious appetites, many of the negative traits of pigs aren’t actually true at all. For nearly ten thousand years, humans have been living with pigs and enjoying their affectionate nature, astonishing intelligence, and proclivity for belly rubs.

Before we stray too far from our core objective, let’s spend about half an hour simply reveling in the cuteness of baby piggies. Whether they’re chasing humans around, playing with dog toys, ripping paper apart with gusto, or simply twitching while asleep, a tiny piglet can’t help but max out the adorable-meter.

If you’re ever wondered if pigs can be taught how to bowl, the answer is a resounding “yes”. While researching the intelligence of porkers in general, I came across this gem of a quote: “pigs are smarter than many young children.” It’s hard to argue with that in modern times, although pigs aren’t generally gifted their own tablet at the age of two as has become customary for much of our human society.

In any case, this small group of pot-bellied pigs is capable of bowling strikes, skateboarding, and slam dunking. While I don’t expect to be tuning into the Swine Olympics anytime soon, the sight of a large pig frantically wagging its tail because it converted the spare never fails to bring a smile to my face.

The internet can be both a toxic spreader of misinformation and a glowing hammer that can destroy harmful myths. Today I’d like to add to the latter’s long list of good added to the world when I inform you that there is no such thing as a micro pig. Also known by the even more adorable moniker ‘teacup pigs’, these tiny porkers are advertised by deceptive breeders as never growing bigger than a medium-sized dog.

The reality is that even the smallest breed of domestic pig will likely reach at least 200 pounds in just a few years, with many tipping the scales at twice that chonkiness. If you’re considering the adoption of a piglet, just be sure you’re prepared to deal with the eventual pot-bellied glory of a fully grown grunter. And if you’re not, stick to watching cute baby pig videos.

If you are looking to get invested in the accomplishments of a single athlete but modern sports seem mundane and repetitive, then the League of Pigs might be just right for you. With 11 seasons of pig racing, charismatic if porky competitors, and epic voiceover work, it delivers on so much more than its simple title suggests. Choose a racetrack, pick a piggy to support, and enjoy your new sports-adjacent obsession.

Finally, we come to the saga of Pig Beach. On an uninhabited island that is part of the Bahamas lives a colony of nearly 60 sunbathing porcine wonders. No one is quite sure how the pigs ended up there, with explanations ranging from tourism booster to shipwreck to simply just ‘pirates’. Regardless of how this speck of sand became populated with pigs, they now enjoy a cushy life of wading through the crystal clear water of the Caribbean while visitors toss them food.