The Queue

It isn’t often that my now-teenage daughter gives me something but when she does it’s usually a cold. Her immune system tends to be ironclad, and mine is also similarly strong, so when the littler one brings something home, eh, it’s a headcold or whatever. But when my daughter brings something home and I catch it, it is gnarly and won’t let go. I’m on day 4, and I feel worse than I did yesterday.

If Cory also gives me his cold I’m going to haunt this website when I die.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we ooh-AH-AH-AH-AH

I had a chest cold a week ago, and the cough is still holding on. I’m fine, except for the hacking and coughing every once in a while. It’s only really bad when I lie down, and who spends their evenings lying down? Sleep is overrated, I’ve heard, anyway.

While I look into replacement lungs, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

I’m fascinated by the first revealed boss in the upcoming Megaman game, Twinkle Girl. First of all, because it’s a breath of fresh air that they’re no longer confined to just “[Something] Man” (EDIT: or “Woman”) anymore. But second, because she just looks so friendly!

Look at her!

This is The Queue, our daily Q&A column where we absolutely can’t believe Twinkle Girl is gonna be just a disposable villain. Come on now! Playable Twinkle Girl adventures or riot!!!

My new best friend is named Ethrandil, and he’s the only one in Azeroth who seems to be with me on this snake thing. Why are we here on cursed snake island? Why is anyone here? Why are we slaves to this torment and when can we go home?

We are now besties, bonded for life over our mutual terror, because the exposure therapy of spending so much time on cursed snake island is not helping. (And yes, you’re going to get to hear me talk about this for the next six months. Blame Blizzard.)

But while I bask in the joy of new-found friendship, this is the Queue, our daily Q&A column where I try to answer your questions in between bouts of being terrified of certain fanged reptiles. Let’s get to the questions!

I don’t know why but I am amused by the established fact that Allosaurus specimens have a marked tendency to display paleopathologies that indicate that even among Theropods, they were willing to take risks. We find broken ribs, punctured tail vertebra, and a variety of wounds from Stegosaurus thagomizers. Including a thagomizer blow to the public bone of a particularly… let’s just say reckless… Allosaurus.

I like to imagine Allosaurus as a genus of Johnny Knoxvilles. Daring each other to attack a Brontosaurus or a Stegosaurus and getting their faces smashed so hard they spend the rest of their lives with crooked jaws, bone spurs, stubbed tails and yes, spike punctures to their pubic bones. The Tazmanian Devils of the Jurassic.

We’re at that point of summer where I am so thoroughly over it. I cannot stand eating another zucchini and I’m so sick of being sweaty all the time. It’s made even worse because all the pumpkin spice nonsense is rolling out because everyone north of me is starting to feel that crisp breeze in the air, but if I want to feel that anytime in the next month I need to stand over the AC grate wearing a dress (which doesn’t have pockets, because we’re adding insult to injury). Time does and will march on, but for now I’m truly over it.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us the questions and we’ll give you some kind of answers as long as I can do it lying down with the lights off. Ugh.

Can you believe that work made me work last week? The nerve! What’s worse? They’ll continue to make me work this week!

The jerks.

While I try really hard to find some buried treasure to retire with, it’s time for our daily question-and-answer column — The Queue!

I hear sneks are all the hiss lately. Everybody’s got sneks on their brains. Sneks are hogging all the sunlight. They’re the flavor of the month, and it tastes like venom. They just keep slithering their way into every conversation.

This is the Queue, our daily Q&A column where snakes are so hot right now (ambient temperature permitting; give them twenty minutes under a warm rock or something).

I’d rather be fishing.

In a nice sunny spot on the coast. Maybe I could bring my umbrella. Not a snake or pool of venom in sight. It would be glorious.

But no, instead I’m on the Coiled Isle, having a panic attack while a dozen snakes twisted into a single mega-snake comes at me. This is the life of a hero of Azeroth, apparently.

This is the Queue, our daily Q&A column where I’d rather not talk about snakes but somehow keep coming back to them, because they’re everywhere and I can’t get them out of my mind.

Thank you for the idea, Jalamenos.