The Queue

Does Geoff Keighley not realize gamers are getting older? That we have bedtimes? Limited attention spans? Four hours of game trailers is just too much. By the end I had forgotten the beginning, the middle was a blur, and I was starting to doze off so I’m not completely sure how it ended. Hopefully someone won!

But I’m being too harsh. The whole show was worth watching just to see Statler and Waldorf call Geoff a sellout. The Outer Worlds 2 trailer was also extremely good, and possibly some other things happened.

But for now, let’s get to the Queue.

Not just with Varric, either. Rook flirts with literally everyone/everything in this game.

Hi. I’m Matt. This is the Queue.

Her name is Eiselin Burchelli Meijal Hulkenberg, and she’s a Knight who likes to eat.

This is The Queue, and we like to answer questions. And we’re all out of fruit.

Do you ever just kinda carry on about your day and then you suddenly realize you have a whole lot of stuff to do, but you also still have to do all your regular stuff too? But now there’s a sword of damocles hanging over your head the whole time?

This is The Queue, our daily column where you give us the questions and we’re just gonna go get Chipotle, because heck it, right? You want anything?

We’re still so early into December and I think I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done! This has to be a record.

I’ve even gotten fresh wrapping paper covered in sharks in Santa hats. Everything is coming Milhouse!

While I check my shopping list again, it’s time for — The Queue!

Because I would never do that. Truly. I would not leave you all to your own devices on a Friday afternoon (it would be dangerous, for one). We need excitement! We need adventure! We need questions!

So let’s get to it.

Yesterday was Dragon Age day, that magical day when a massive megacorporation (Electronic Arts) tells one of its subsidiaries (Bioware) to release a standalone character creator so that you can use the latest video game assets to make a portrait of your D&D character.

Trinity Fusion is the most recent game I’ve played to completion, and it’s quite the fun one. A metroidvania more akin to Metroid than to the (Castle)vania, it’s about sci-fi worlds that need to be merged in order to be saved — and you’re one of the few with avatars on all four of the worlds and therefore you get to play the hero. The main deviation from the standard formula is that it also embraces the rogue-lite formula popularized by games like Hades. Explore, die, repeat — but with the opportunity to play as different a person each time.

The story is a little light and sometimes it felt like the game did a poor choice of explaining what your current task was, but the gameplay, graphics and sound are amazing. I struggled with it more than typical because of its rogue-lite nature — having to reset each time I died ran counter to my standard metroidvania tactic of banging my head against a boss until I finally got it down — but eventually I was able to defeat the big bads and save the worlds. I’m looking forward to revisiting it when more free DLC is released (there have been two so far), but now I’m content to play something else for a bit.

While I download Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Mega Mix+ let’s answer some questions!

Most of the time I can’t resist a good pun. Most of the time. A good pun.

Anyway,

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we give you the answers.

Somehow, Monday has returned.

Wait, have I made that joke before? That’s the problem with Mondays — they don’t have you performing at your best. This is why I’m so sad to report that today is once again Monday. I know I know, I can’t quite believe it either.

If only science could stop working on all of those robots and cars and robot cars and focus on defeating our greatest evil, Monday.

While I try to get ahold of a top scientist in the anti-Monday field, it’s time for — The Queue!