The Queue: Daydreaming about adorable baby dinosaurs

Look at this guy! He’s so adorable! He’s perfect. He’s everything I have ever wanted. And I’m never going to have one for myself, but that’s a story we’ll get into later.

For now, let’s queue up and answer some questions.

I make the bed every day. It’s partly a mental thing, a note to self that sleep time is over, I’m getting up and getting on with the day. Time to get moving! (Not that I never take a midday nap, but still, the messaging is there.) My office is also a nook in the bedroom, and though I have it partially separated off with a bookcase divider, it makes the room I’m sitting in more put together. I am here to work, not nap! The neatly made bed is proof!

That’s what I tell myself, anyway.

The new King Krush pet in Hearthstone is the most adorable baby dinosaur I have ever seen. I have only just met him, but I would do anything for this baby dinosaur.

Well.

Anything except what Hearthstone asks you to do for him, which is play a gacha style game that gives you random rewards. Insert Runestones (cash currency) and get a reward. Did I mention the reward is random and contains the most adorable baby dinosaur that has ever existed as well as packs, signature cards, hero skins, and other cosmetics I don’t want? Each time you play, the cost to play goes up. There are ten rewards, and if you pay for ten attempts, you’re guaranteed to get all of them.

Ten attempts will cost you $158.

Blizzard is trying to make this game sound good by saying the first pull is free. But the most adorable baby dinosaur that has ever existed starts with a 0.1% drop rate. You have a 0.1% chance to get it on your first pull, and that increases every attempt… but not by much. By your ninth attempt, according to some community math, you only have a 6.67% chance to get the most adorable baby dinosaur. On the tenth attempt the chance jumps to 100% because there are only ten rewards and you won’t collect duplicates… and with those low drop rates, it seems extremely likely that you’ll have to go to ten. And that means spending $158.

There is no way to buy a (discounted?) package of enough attempts to earn everything. There is no way to just buy the thing or things you want. You have to play this game with increasing costs in which you are constantly disappointed by by not getting the single thing you want: the most adorable baby dinosaur ever.

Oh, and did I mention it’s a limited time FOMO reward? It’s a limited time FOMO reward. GLHF.

So I won’t be getting the most adorable baby dinosaur, and it’s hard to get my enthusiasm up.

It was great, aside from the drive (about 14 hours each way, with some bad weather and bad traffic). So often I’d meet people I play with at BlizzCon, where I’m super busy with other things (because there are a lot of other things to do!) and lucky to sneak in a dinner or something. This was great in that we just got together to hang out. Nothing else. No huge news drops to run and cover (I didn’t see anything happen last week, did you?). Just a chance to hang out with friends that I don’t get a chance to hang out with most of the time.

Also on the way I visited the Cincinnati Zoo to meet hippo royalty Fiona, a glorious personage. She was gracious enough to swim by and peer at me from the inside of her enclosure as she swam loops around the tank. (That’s a bit of a misnomer; hippos cannot swim nor can they float. They sink to the bottom of a body of water and then kick off to propel themselves, so really they’re just bouncing. But Fiona does it gracefully and gives herself enough speed that you certainly would think she’s swimming.)

I went to the Cincinnati Zoo on my own, but after meeting with everyone we went to the Louisville Zoo as a group trip. It was also fun, but as with any group activity we immediately lost track of everyone as people wandered (and occasionally pinged in Discord to see where everyone else was). And also the zoo was full of animatronic dinosaurs. Okay, they’re animals too, but I hadn’t expected to see a tyrannosaurus looming over the zoo sign when we walked in.  But we made it through without anyone being eaten by a dinosaur (they weren’t even in enclosures!) or a polar bear (who looked too tired out in the heat to eat any tourists). They didn’t have any full-sized hippos, but we did see a pygmy hippo that was napping in the water.

It was a good trip, but now it’s back to the everyday grind…

Hippos are great, but have you ever seen their keyboard skills? Ever known one to use a mouse? She’s in her happy place, there’s no need to introduce her to WoW forum trolls.

I am unfortunately stuck under the heat bubble, but dealing with it by (mostly) staying indoors, with the A/C on, blinds down, and fans to keep air circulating. Fortunately, it’s cooler today than it was yesterday, but it’s still really hot. A good day to stay inside and play video games, don’t you think?

And that’s all for today my friends. I hope you’re having a good Wednesday! Take care, stay cool, and I’ll see you here next week!