The Queue: A great day for Cory, and therefore, the world

It’s my birthday! Today, this very day!

Of course, if you want to have a week-long celebration to properly observe it, I won’t stop you. Just make sure you watch lots of spooky things and tell someone a joke. Jokes and spooky things sum me up pretty well now that I think of it. Here’s a couple just for you, guaranteed groaners.

How do you know when a skeleton is sick? It runs a high femur!

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It really raises their spirits!

While I think of some more wonderful spooky puns, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

Only Blizzard really knows why their maintenance windows are so long — it could be anything! Maybe all of the hamsters formed a union, and they’re demanding more breaks from the wheels. Maybe they’ve got a Star Trek Holodeck situation happening, and Thrall has come to life and is demanding to speak with Chris Metzen to really get to the bottom of why things have been going so wrong. Maybe the code has just gotten heavy enough that it takes that long to take it all out and give it a good scrubbing.

More likely, it’s just an extra-wide window to address a bunch of update stuff from the patch that went live last week. Sometimes things can’t be hotfixed nicely and require a proper update, and the big window gives them the cushion in case something goes terribly awry in that fix.

I’m looking forward to Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War 4. I played the ever-living crap out of the first couple of them, and I like the looks of everything I’ve seen from the new one. It’s been a hot minute since I played a good RTS too, and I’m getting that itch to move lots of little guys around a big map. Plus, I hear this one has a Lion in it. Thankfully, this will be out before the end of the year.

The other game I’m looking forward to is Exodus. The Mass Effect comparisons have been being made since the first trailer, and I did love me some Mass Effect. I just hope that I’ll be able to replicate the Biotic Vanguard charge/shotgun/charge someone else build that was so much fun.

Of course, the new StarCraft and Diablo games are on the list, but they’re so far out! Who can even hold more than an inkling of interest in them? Talk to me when we get some gameplay to obsess over.

I know, right? What a gosh-darn-diddly shameful display.

So I won’t talk about the spoiler here. Let’s talk about the Lich King fight instead.

That’s a fantastic fight for storytelling, because it has the opening where Tirion charges into getting iceblocked, and then the whole ending of the fight between dying and resurrection and the final burn. Which works so well because it’s storytelling that you can’t skip, can’t miss, and don’t have to do anything else mechanically during it. You’re not skipping a phase or a mechanic like getting absorbed into Frostmourne because your damage was too high; you’re not seeing some NPC voice lines yelled across the arena while you’re supposed to be dodging explosions — you get to focus entirely on being dead while Arthas monologues at you.

Even after you get control back, all you have to do is deal damage, while Arthas gets spun around like a top in all of the souls. The story can land, and you get to feel like a big part of a major event. A+ work.

Of course, comparing Kithix to Arthas is a pretty lopsided comparison, since Kithix is an epilogue to a mid-expansion raid tier, and not like the capstone of a major plot point from Warcraft 3. So y’know, mileage may vary. But I think that’s a good point about how to make raid encounters work as good story vehicles. You have to make the players stop and look at the story if you want it to be remembered well. The more they can follow what’s happened, the better it will be received.

Raids are the big show-stopping numbers for World of Warcraft. They’re where the big evil gets to hang out until our plucky bands of adventurers can kick the door down. They should have clearer storytelling beats in them. This has gotten better with time, for the most part. We have more NPCs hanging out in the raid and being present around the encounters. So I think for the most part they’re succeeding in making them feel satisfying; just this most recent one has left people feeling down on the concept.

Today’s Bacardi has the contrast turned way, way up so you can actually see his face. I felt like you deserved that after last week’s void kitty. Make sure to tell him your vault hopes and dreams so he knows what to get you. Otherwise, you might just wind up with your tenth pair of bracers and that’s just too many.

Would you rather

Work as a scare actor in a haunted house

Or

Work as a Santa Claus at a Christmas village

Today’s Anna Earworm™: Witches Burn

I hope you all have an excellent and spooky week! Make sure to leave Anna lots of spooky questions for tomorrow!

Why did Dracula read the local newspaper? He heard it had great circulation!