Who would win the Azeroth world cup?

After watching the World Cup, an athletic spectacle where tens of millions tune in to watch opposing groups of humans attempt to move a ball into a net while inexplicably not using their hands. It begs the question: who would emerge victorious from Azeroth’s inaugural World Cup?

As self-appointed Chancellor of Kicking Stuff I am declaring that no class abilities are to be used in order to produce a purely athletic contest between nations. Right off the bat, we’ll run into some trouble with Dracthyr deflating enough balls with their talons to require some magical reinforcement.

As usual, the early rounds would involve some spectacular hijinks. Picture an Undead striker’s leg flying off from a particularly hard corner kick, endless debate about the legality of the Worgen team’s tranformations, and a Tauren’s penalty shot caught by a Gnome goalkeeper only for them to be carried through the back of the net by the momentum of the ball. It’s fairly easy to predict the disqualification of the Goblin team for sneaking a footbomb into the opposing team’s practice balls.

Some inhabitants of Azeroth might be more comfortable in the stands than on the pitch. I can see a Kul Tiran cheering section energizing whichever side they’ve happened to back in the moment. A Pandaren/Tortollan play-by-play team would be endlessly entertaining to listen to.

The finals might see the lithe grace of the Night Elves pitted against the unrelenting agility of the Vulpera. In the end, I can’t see the Night Elves being able to stop taking themselves so seriously for 90 minutes. The happy-go-lucky Vulpera squad would come out on top and bring the Prized Orb of Azeroth home to Vol’dun.

So what else would you expect to witness with a front-row ticket to the Azerothian World Cup? Which club would you be rooting for, and who do you think has the best chances of earning foot-related glory?