Especially Me Actually I’m Pretty Fat

But at my back I always hear/
Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near;/
And yonder all before us lie/
Deserts of vast eternity./
Andrew Marvell, To His Coy Mistress

Yeah, turns out instead of being a Kree Supersoldier, Marvell was a British poet who, like a lot of other poets since poetry started, was really concerned that he should be having sex right now because we could die at any moment so it really makes sense to get all your boning in up front as much as possible.

Okay, so he did other stuff too like write things directly addressing Oliver Cromwell and convincing Charles II to not execute John Milton once Chuck was back on the English throne. But his poetical version of we’re all gonna die anyway, let’s get it on while we still can has always stuck with me as the classiest frat bro come on I’ve ever seen.