WoW

"Okay, yeah, Delvar is supposed to be my bodyguard, but this is just silly," writes submitter Arugadh of Deep Forest Caravan on Wyrmrest Accord (US-A). "He seems to think that keeping me safe means standing as close as possible, no matter where I’m at. I mean, how likely is it that I’m going to be assassinated in my own garrison?"

Or space goat's best friend or whatnot.

"This is why we can't have nice things!" exclaims submitter Darby. "You try to raise an undead army of mighty heroes and someone comes along and breaks your sword! Boys, just say sorry to each other and let's go get some ICC cream for dessert!"

Submitter Soeurlouve of GrandGalacticInquisitor on Llane (US-A) found herself cornered by two enemy tauren, one of whom was wielding a fearsome baguette for a weapon. What's a lowbie worgen to do when outnumbered by the Horde? Why, pull out her Alterac Brew-Pup, of course!

"Gnomes seem to be the butt of a lot of WoW jokes, mainly of the 'punting' variety," writes submitter Epicurian of Spectacular Death on Llane (US-A).

You know what's really behind everything bad in Azeroth? The lizard people.

"Sometimes, it's the moments in between battles that truly allow us to perceive our purpose amid the glory of the universe," writes submitter Benjamin, who must be in a more contemplative mood than most of us.

When I accidentally launched myself into the smokestacks above Blackhand's Foundry, I was shocked at what I saw," writes submitter Hellioning of Kil'Jaeden (US-H). "The walls were so dirty they were pitch black! I knew I had to report this to OSHA immediately! ... Right after the selfie, of course."

"Just call me Bugsie Malone, hanging with my cockroach posse," writes today's submitter. "When you're about to kill an insect, the bug spray for their lives. Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? ... I mite be. You know what really bugs me? Insect puns. (I'm gonna keep it going until you put this on BlizzCaps.)"

"Awwwwwww, isn’t he cute?" writes submitter Arugadh of Deep Forest Caravan on Wyrmreset Accord (US-A). "Kil’jaeden gets so angry when happy gnomes invade his Fortress of Evil. Poor guy can’t harm a fly, and actually thinks getting mad is somehow going to deter my little warlock from squishing him to the ground. No wonder my ‘lock is laughing so psychotically."