The Queue: I am not a Dreadlord

Hello, my friends. It is I, Matthew Rossi, the usual Human who writes this Queue column every Tuesday and Friday. I am not a Dreadlord.

I wouldn’t personally know (because as I mentioned before I’m not a Dreadlord) but I hear that all those who join the Legion are free from the constant threat of Vrykul spittle.

Just something to think about.

Being as I am not a Dreadlord, and I have played a Monk in the past, I would argue that your reasoning seems correct but that it’s inherently flawed by there only being three Monk specializations but four August Celestials (and of these four, none are the equal of Archimonde or Kil’jaeden, much less mighty Sargeras, may the stars quake in his name).

If I had to choose I’d say that Chi-Ji, as the Red Crane, purveyor of delusive Hope (there is no hope of victory against the Legion, of course) would serve as the more effective healer. In my experience mortals often manage to transcend their paltry flesh and limited lives to accomplish temporary setbacks against the Legion’s superior forces when they are drunk on the intoxicating allure of Hope.

But in the end of course neither Yulon nor Chi-Ji can save you. You are doomed. The Legion conquers all. Imagine if the Celstials were wise enough that all four of them taught every Monk of every specialization? Yet they don’t. This is why the Legion will always triumph.

Did I mention I’m not a Dreadlord? Because I’m not.

Since I am not a Dreadlord, I absolutely do not remind Gul’dan that he is barely even inconveniencing me and that I will be back as soon as I reconstitute myself in the Twisting Nether. And I don’t complain to Kil’jaeden that his pet Orc is getting ahead of himself again. Because that’s what a Dreadlord might do, and I am not a Dreadlord.

Your name appears to be Cody Ward, and not Buffalo. Is this some sort of deception? I wouldn’t want to reward a deception, because that’s not something I would do. Not me. No sir.

Also, you failed to specify what you meant by ‘buffalo’. Do you mean a Water Buffalo? An American Bison? What are we talking about? Here is a picture of a skeleton of Bison Antiquus.

In the future please specify whether you meant one of several large herbivorous mammals, the city, or something else. Because I am absolutely not a Dreadlord, I cannot read your thoughts. Not even when you desperately want me to.

First off, as a Human who has studied World of Warcraft and its lore extensively and not a demonic Nathrezim who dwells in the Nether, constantly seeking to devour your pathetic world for the glory of Sargeras, I have to correct you on a few misnomers.

First, that the Tauren are ‘cow based’. They resemble animals you could consider to be related to the domestic cattle you call ‘cows’, but are not actually related to them at all. As far as we know, the original Tauren people lived in what is now Pandaria and likely derive from the August Celestial known as Niuzao, much as the Furbolg derive from the Bear Ancients Ursoc and Ursol. Furbolg are not ‘bear beased’ any more than Tauren are ‘cow based’.

But furthermore, if you played through the Highmountain quests and went back to observe how Huln Highmountain got his antlers, you would know that they were a gift from Cenarius the Forestlord, who magically gifted the Highmountain tribe with their antlers as a reward for saving Eche’ro.

Ultimately this will prove futile because the Legion will destroy Highmountain, but still, the antlers are a magical gift and not naturally occurring at all.

That’s the Queue for this Tuesday. I will of course be back on Friday, as I am every Tuesday and Friday, a normal Human and not at all a Legion plant sent to infiltrate and destroy your world.