The Queue: I don’t think I can fix this with any number of DOTs

Unfortunately, some problems just can’t be fixed, and I think this is one of them.

(Actually I’m lying. A single Spinning Crane kick took care of it. But you have to admit I was a little overwhelmed there.)

I think we have an anatomy problem here, because I feel quite confident that dragons are born with wings. You’ve seen whelps hatch from eggs, right? They have wings!

But if they don’t naturally have wings and are instead granted them by the power of Gnomes (presumably before hatching), then I’m more powerful than I realized! A single laugh could cause swarms of dragon whelplings to take flight, terrorizing the skies in my name!

Except sometimes they just terrorize me. And I can’t just give myself wings to get away. Dang. I knew there was a flaw in this logic…

There’s certainly a lot of personal animosity involved in the current conflict, I agree. However, just because we see these conflicts amongst or leaders doesn’t mean that the average citizen of the Alliance or Horde doesn’t have their own animosity towards the opposing faction. Residents of Stormwind or Ironforge might be content to stay safe within their territory, where they aren’t threatened by the Horde, and only deal with their own threats.

But what of their allies the Night Elves, who are constantly harassed by the Horde? The Elves have plenty of reasons to fight the Horde, even without the influence of their leaders, and the rest of the Alliance is equally obligated to aid them. And it didn’t exactly work well when Genn Greymane decided to nope out of the Third War by building a giant wall around his kingdom instead of going to the aid of his allies.

…for which I continue to hold a strong animosity towards Genn, though I am obligated to share a faction with him if I want to play a Gnome. He selfishness certainly helped the Scourge attack Loaderon and Silvermoon… which led to the fall of his now-nemesis Sylvanas and the formation of a Horde bastion in the ruins of Loadaeron, right on his doorstep. Not to mention unleashing the Worgen when he finally had to act against the Scourge, which wound up cursing his entire race. Despite his rage for Sylvanas, I feel he very much created his own doom, and I don’t  trust the guy. I don’t really see how anyone else could entirely trust him either, or quite how he’s became the right-hand man of Varian and then Anduin. His rage, I think, will get him into trouble in the end, but he’s hardly the only member of the Alliance with reasons to hate the Horde.

For the Horde’s part, that’s harder, as the Alliance are rarely the aggressors. But I suspect all these years of war are hard to overcome, and will be harder to overcome when the Alliance retakes Lordaeron.

The game’s story may focus on Genn and Sylvanas, but I hardly think everyone else would just peace out if, somehow, the two of them stopped fighting.

Hearthstone has a lot of crazy characters, but if I were to choose just one… well, it’s no surprise that it’s a Gnome. The new expansion has a Mage card called Toki, Time-Tinkerer and she is my favorite. Give her a long quest chain with Chromie where the two of them spend a zone-spanning quest chain arguing about the proper use of time travel and sending you on a lot of contradictory quests. I need this in my life, Blizzard. Help a Gnome out here.

⌛ Messing with timelines to meet your heroes from the past is definitely a good idea, right? RIGHT? 💫https://t.co/kzkxqPqWD2 pic.twitter.com/nIZSGJZMrr

— Hearthstone (@PlayHearthstone) April 5, 2018

(For more, please see my 20k word fanfic on the matter.)

Yep! After an expansion is released, typically the previous expansion’s content is rolled into the base game — with Legion, Blizzard is just doing it a little early.

If you look at the map, you would think this is a nightmare of a trip — but it’s not nearly as bad as it appears. There’s a red orb at the back of the throne room in Silvermoon City that will teleport you to Undercity. From there, run to the blimp tower in front of the city gates to hitch a ride to Grom’gol in Stranglethorn. It’s relatively fast and relatively safe.

Which is to say: you kids have it easy these days. Back in my day, I had to corpse hop all the way through the Wetlands to reach the nearest boat dock to Stormwind or Ironforge — and those roads were not safe for lowbies. Blizzard has really taken all of the challenge out of this.

Though in fairness, that takes most of the annoyance out of it, too. I guess I’m okay with that.

And that’s it for today, everyone. Come back tomorrow for your weekly adventures with Anne, and I’ll be back next week.

Until then!