Xal’atath is (probably) returning to kill us all

We all know that Shadow Priests are essentially sleeper agents for the Old Gods who are going to get us all killed, yes? I mean, that’s a given, right? I ask because of their unhealthy — some might even say completely unhinged — obsession for an evil talking piece of stabware. Sure, you might say, “Matt, you’re just as obsessed with Ashkandi,” but I will remind you that Ashkandi doesn’t talk. It certainly doesn’t constantly natter on about how the Old Gods are totally going to win and consume all existence. But that’s exactly what Xal’atath spent all of Legion doing, and every Shadow Priest I know was super excited to be on board with it.

Granted, it was voiced by Claudia Christian, so I can kind of understand. But still — we’re all going to die entirely because Shadow Priests fell in love with the universe’s most blasphemously evil Ginsu. How can I say this? Because the thing is coming back.

We are all going to die

Now, the article at Wowhead speculates (based on datamining) that the dagger will be involved in some way with the upcoming Crucible of Storms raid, and that over time the entity that lives within the form of the dagger may even be freed. But based on the potential origins of the blade, that’s a terrible idea. 

Currently, there are two lead theories as to Xal’atath’s origin. One is that she is a forgotten Old God — which would put us up to six Old Gods. The other is that she’s a remaining claw of Y’Shaarj. If the Wowhead speculation is correct and we find Xal’atath as part of the Crucible of Souls raid, spend our time empowering it by feeding it Naga souls, and eventually help the entity escape the dagger, that’s a very bad idea. Even if we accept that the Old Gods aren’t inherently evil, they are inimical to all life and want to see Azeroth corrupted into a Void Titan that would then unmake the universe.

The Universe is where I keep my Ashkandi

We live in the universe. It’s where we keep all our stuff. We don’t want it unmade. Except, of course, for Shadow Priests who will gladly let their Kukuri crush eat all our souls for one more snarky line of dialogue about how delicious our suffering is.

The Xal prefix on an Old God derived weapon makes me deeply suspicious that this isn’t a new Old God we’re dealing with, though. Remember Xal’atoh? That weapon was created by using the power of the Heart of Y’Shaarj, and one of the rumors about Xal’atath is that it’s the claw of that selfsame Old God. We also know that you can make a new Old God by mucking about with their void essence. It’s quite possible that Shadow Priests spent all of Legion incubating what will become the larval form of a brand-new Old God born of Y’Shaarj’s essence, feeding it power and now it’s finally ready to hatch out of that dagger and take Y’Shaarj’s place as the most powerful and dangerous of the Old Gods on Azeroth. Maybe even to call them from that world that Star Augur Etraeus showed us during the Nighhold raid.

Remember when Shadow Priests carried Xal’atath into the Seat of the Pantheon? Giving the Old Gods access to the heart of the Titan’s celestial power? Remember that? Because I guarantee you, Xal’atath does. And we’re going to die, because now we’re going to wake the thing up in patch 8.1.