The Queue: How do I do this again?

Hello? Is this thing on? HELLO? Is anybody out there? Hellooooo?

Honestly I haven’t started trying any decks. I’ve run the Tavern Brawl, I’ve played some Battlegrounds, but haven’t messed around with any constructed modes. I’ll get around to it.

But I have to say I really love the art, and some of the cards are exceptionally weird. A rogue card that makes it look like you aren’t playing a rouge? Wild. It’s oddball things like that that (potentially) make things interesting. Hearthstone is particularly good at weird (Mailbox Dancer, anybody?), and it’s a joy when the game goes all in on it.

I’m not sure if the normal NPC is getting bigger; the important NPCs have always been oddly large. But the Kyrian Paragons are gigantic, making all other NPCs seem puny by comparison. Even the bulkiest Tauren would feel like a toddler next to one of them.

I think the 9.1 story has to provide us with some conclusion to the narrative we’ve been going down. We’ve finally united the Covenants, reforged the Sigils, and fought our way through the Jailer’s stronghold in an effort to reach him. We’ve saved Tyrande (probably) and captured Sylvanas (probably). We’re going to have to see the end game, or an end game, soon.

But what end game is hard to say. This is only patch 9.1 — we’re almost certainly going to have a 9.2 and a 9.3 — so we can’t get the whole story, not for a while.

I imagine we aren’t going to catch up to the Jailer… or if we do, we’ll find out there’s some other, worse threat on the horizon. Blizzard is fond of leading us one way and then throwing an Old God at us. I think we’re out of Old Gods at this point, but you never know.

My best guess is that we’ll see some kind of resolution for Tyrande (at least a temporary resolution) and the Night Elves. We’ll get some kind of aid from Sylvanas in figuring out the Jailer’s plans (whether she offers it or we just get it out of her). I don’t think we’re going to catch up to the Jailer yet and I don’t think we’re going to free Anduin — I suspect both of these things will be left for a future patch.

But who knows. Maybe we’ll catch up to the Jailer, free Anduin, and surprise, it was Yogg-Saron all along!

Hellfire. Hellfire.

Okay. I know it’s not in the game anymore. But it’s pretty much the ultimate in fiery destruction.

It’s so much the ultimate in fiery destruction that Warlocks basically never got to use it. That was how destructive it was! It would kill the Warlock as well! The only time I had ever got to use it was when raiding Blackwing Lair, going through the Suppression Room up to Broodlord Lashlayer. There were so many whelps and they respawned so quickly that we needed more DPS than the Mages could provide to advance through the room. The solution was two Warlocks casting Hellfire with a lot of support from the healers.

So, there you go. Warlocks.

Anything with dogs is good. It would be a peaceful realm with wide open fields to run through, beaches to play in the surf, squirrels to chase, plenty of places to dig holes, and someone would always be available to throw a ball for them or scratch them behind the ears. A proper paradise for souls to relax without worry.

Two words: Beholder calamari. Deep-fried eyestalks. This is totally doable.

Or maybe Beholders taste like chicken (which tastes just like everything else), in which case, as long as you don’t call it Beholder stew, it would just be chicken soup. Though, frankly, Beholders are far too difficult to hunt to kill them just for calamari. So if you see any Beholder calamari being served at a restaurant, chances are it’s just squid.

Wow! I managed to write an entire Queue! It’s just like riding a bike.

Thanks for being here, folks. I hope you have a good Friday and a good weekend to follow. Be sure to pet your dogs and tell them it’s from me. I’ll see you back here next week.