The Queue: Waiting for Download

It is apparently the season of enormous patches that take a year to download and install. The giant Cyberpunk 2077 patch just dropped, as did a surprise Baldur’s Gate 3 patch that finally lets us play Barbarians. They are 50 and 90 gigs, respectively. I had to delete several video games I’m not currently playing just to make room for them. So yeah, that’s pretty much what I did last night. What are you all up to?

Yes. Constantly. Since I was six.

I would just let people buy the Many Expletives Deleted things.

Seriously. Just let people who want a specific mount have it. I’m so well past the whole You must be wearing the biggest pants or hurl yourself and your army of alts at this and then don’t get it and complain for an entire year and then repeat process. Yes, when you do finally get it, there’s a momentary pop of endorphins and excitement, but it isn’t worth all the angst over a big pink crotch missile not dropping again.

Make them buyable with tokens you earn from the holiday, or with Timewalking badges, or with actual freaking money, I don’t care, but just get this done already.

I mean, I think it’s like paralysis for me. There’s Horizon Forbidden West which I want very badly to play but can’t afford and don’t have a PS5 anyway, there’s the new Cyberpunk patch, there’s Barbarians in Baldur’s Gate 3 and there’s the new Wrath of the Righteous DLC coming, there’s Elden Ring aka the only From Software game I’ve ever been curious about… there is a lot coming out, and in all of that, I just don’t know if I have time for Star Wars The Old Republic — a game I have played and enjoyed in the past, but man, it’s been like six years and I just don’t know.

There’s a lot out right now. I get feeling like you’re interested but just don’t have the time.

I wouldn’t. Nobody should have this. It sucks. I’d trick one of the other gods into it, they’re more deserving targets anyway. I’ll just make Zeus think I’m a pretty girl and tell him I’ll do him if he is willing to switch eyes so I can see what the world is like from his viewpoint and vice versa. Then I’ll turn into a swan just to mock him as I fly away and he can’t catch me because he can’t freaking see me.

They’re you.

Tetrapods — that is to say, every amphibian, every reptile, every mammal and every bird in the world — are their direct descendants. Guys like Ichthyostega descend from fish like Tiktaalik, which is almost certainly a relative of if not the actual ancestor of all tetrapods alive today.

Granted, all modern fish have teeth of some kind and I think you were telling a joke. But it’s still worth knowing that all modern tetrapods, from the snake down in the garden chasing mice, to those mice themselves, to the birds in the trees, to you watching it all play out, and many, many more besides — all of you are descended from a big, weird fish with a squat head, lots of weird teeth and fins that could push on the murky bottom of the sea floor near the coast.

Okay, that’s the Queue for today. See y’all later, I’m off to try and finish some downloads.