The Queue: Breakup Haircut

There has been a whole lot of discussion about Alleria and her role in The War Within, within the context of the new trailer especially. But one thing that I haven’t seen anyone talking about yet is her haircut, specifically that it is somewhat reminiscent of the post-breakup cut many women turn to as a way to change things in a safe way. What I’m really getting at is — do y’all think I might have a shot with Turalyon now? Come on, she has bangs now. The evidence is there!

This is The Queue, the daily column where you ask us questions, you know, just for a friend, it’s fine, you’re not really serious or anything, haha, but maybe…?

I feel like the obvious answer is to axe Shadowlands. It felt very much like a tacked-on bottle episode. A lot of the expansions where we go to some new planet or timeline usually feel like that, but Shadowlands saw a lot of repetitive story beats. I acknowledge there’s a fine line between repetition and parallels in narrative, but the entire premise of Shadowlands felt tailor made to be a filler episode jam packed with nostalgia and obviously heartwrenching cameos — yanno, because everyone there is dead and we saw a whole lot of people die over the years. I could have gone a very long time without seeing Garrosh or Arthas ever again. Their story arcs have been concluded for literal decades, I personally killed them both (with an asterisk, because cut scene), and yet.

I understand that people aren’t going to the combo Fallout Boy and MCR tour to hear the new stuff, but WoW is the reigning queen a la Beyonce at this point, and this ain’t Texas.

At the same time, if I had to pick an expansion’s story to revisit… uh, Shadowlands? Even with those quibbles, the initial lands we were presented with were such a fantastic, novel concept and I adored all of them (well, not Maldraxxus, gross). While we’ve had choose-your-faction stories in the past, in this case the identities of each of those factions was so distinct and well-realized that the choices presented felt much more consequential. But if we were to revisit Shadowlands, there would need to be at least one more middle ‘step’ in the story, figuring out the Jailer and his intentions more, and then a few more, when we actually get to figure out what this long-ranging, long-reaching issue he was alluding to actually was. Maybe that’s what this three-expansion arc is all about, but having the big bad say “ha HA, I wasn’t actually evil, I was trying to prepare you to face the TRUE evil” is… well, I guess we’re right back to parallel vs repetition, eh?

There are several points in questing like this from Pandaria on, and they’re generally used to rephase the player. Sometimes it’s used for narrative, where you leave an area and then come back and, whoops! All Sha! But also sometimes they just want to periodically rebalance player loads in areas of relatively higher traffic. There are a bunch of areas over near the White Tiger sanctuary like this.

I doubt that their motivation was as fully realized as trickery, or whatever. If I were to guess, they probably slated to give players a choice whether they wanted both, or if they just wanted to wear one part or the other. We can also keep our eye out for bundles and specials and things which include Tenders as a bonus — not strictly as a currency-for-purchase, of course.

Though honestly, I completely loathe the general FOMO model WoW‘s been developing. I have always hated the battle pass cosmetic paradigm in general, and it’s completely out of place in WoW. While it did start well back in the day with Gladiator mounts and BlizzCon swag, I’ve always greatly preferred the model that everything is generally available as long as you’re willing to put in the effort. If I want to go hit up the Argent Tournament and grind out one of those faction Champion mounts right now, it’s still within my reach. If I happen to go on vacation during the Midsummer Fire Festival this year, I know that I can come back next year and just get it then.

The ability to come back later is great for adults with real lives and obligations who have invested 20 actual years into an MMO. But it’s also antithetical to the current business-centric development model which demands that engagement numbers go brrrrr. And I also know that, between the former and the latter, we’re pretty well stuck with the latter for the foreseeable future. Get back on that wheel, Mr. Hamster.

But also, if you have a choice, it’s probably a solid idea to freeze the top, and then wear any random skirt at the bottom, like a beachy sarong.