The Queue: I don’t know how many games you think I play…

It’s my turn? Already? At this rate I’m never going to get to the end of my gaming to-do list. Never.

So let’s talk about video games instead of playing them, shall we? That’s a much shorter to-do list.

Zero!

Honestly, I don’t have time to play the games I own. I haven’t finished Baldur’s Gate 3 or Cyberpunk 2077. I’d like to replay Dragon Age Inquisition before the next game comes out; I’ve been wanting to replay Fallout 4 (and actually started) since the TV show came out, but after the TV show came out I dug into Fallout New Vegas instead, which I have never played and haven’t yet finished. And on the Bethesda front, there’s also Starfield, now that we’re far enough from launch that they’ve probably worked the worst of the bugs.

Plus I have alts to level in WoW Remix, level 60+ alts to level in retail WoW once the pre-patch goes live (with big 60-70 XP nerfs), and I’m apparently the only one who didn’t zoom to level 100 in Diablo 4 Season 4.

I’d also like to play the new Alan Wake and its DLC (but mostly its DLC), but where am I going to find the time?

All of that on top of a pile of unplayed games. All I’d be doing is adding to it!

And so I have resisted the siren song of sales… for now, at any rate.

I think this is a very confusing release, and it’s been marketed very poorly.

Firstly, Wizards of the Coast is downplaying how much of a change it is, by stressing backwards compatibility and the fact that you can keep using all of your existing books. (So you’ll keep buying existing books.) That leaves the impression of it being something you don’t need, and the descriptions of the books don’t make any kind of pitch has to what kind of changes they have or why you might want to buy them. These are just the 2024 editions of the game.

Here’s the actual product description for the new PHB:

Introducing the 2024 Player’s Handbook, the new and improved guide for fifth edition DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. Packed with endless character options, striking illustrations, and a streamlined design, every part of this 384-page book is a joy to experience.

It doesn’t sound like anything you need or even want to buy, a feeling that isn’t helped by the fact that Wizards of the Coast is really stressing buying these books in a $180 physical/digital three-book bundle, and you really have to dig to just find a place to buy the PHB in a single format.

But these books are actually packed with new content and a ton of improvements. I think the new edition is, across the board, good. (Except for Rangers, but they were already bad. They’re just still bad, which is an oddity when so many classes have gotten great facelifts.)  It’s still 5th edition, but it offers a lot of gameplay refinements and class updates that give players more options, particularly at the earlier levels most of us play in. The books look great.

All of that information is only presented in video format, with Jeremy Crawford sitting in front of a camera against a flat background, explaining changes level by level. There are about eight hours of video going into great detail about classes, spells, weapons, and character creation will work. None of this information is written down. It’s all in a string of half-hour videos.

So WotC has done a poor job telling people why they ought to be excited, and the kind of nerds who dig into this information and learn every detail even though it’s poorly presented are also the kind of people who are still pissed at WotC for trying to revoke the OGL and charge third parties massive licensing fees (up to 50%) to use content that was licensed as being free for them to use. So I feel like the hype, even the hype amongst nerds who are the biggest fans, is a little more muted than it might be.

I am excited about the new edition, but I’m still in a bit of a wait-and-see mode about WotC, whether they manage to take the game in a good direction or it continues to flounder as Hasbro tries to suck all of the cash out of the franchise.

New London Ledge Light, a very neatly designed square building meant to fit into the style of the surrounding town. It’s an oddly squat little structure sitting at the entrance of the Thames River (in Connecticut).

This little box of a lighthouse is ridiculous, not like a lighthouse at all. If you saw it on a postcard you wouldn’t think it was a lighthouse. But there it is, lighting the way.

I think Earthen voices are great; they’re deep with a slow cadence. They feel right for a race made literally of stone. And the lack of a Scottish accent, or any strong accent, stresses the fact that they have different origins than the Dwarves we know. This is a different people, who have evolved in a different place, with a different culture.

I do think they have an over-reliance on rock puns, and they use them quite badly. I like a rock pun as much as the next girl, but you have to tell them properly. Subtly. You can’t do a “but most people take it for granite” line with stress on granite and a pause and a wink to make sure people get it, which seems to be where Earthern’s rock-based humor sits. And, frankly, being made of stone it doesn’t seem like they would think this was odd at all; to them none of these are jokes and they don’t understand why outsiders keep laughing about them.  Khaz Algar should be the home of every rock pun ever, but to the Earthen, this would normal, everyday speech (and their voice lines don’t position them that way).

Ah well. We can’t have everything…

This is something AI could be very good at; it’s a rote task that would be complicated and time consuming for a human to do, so much so that it would never get done. There’s too much other work to do to ever go back and individually fit each hair style to each hat in the game.

But this is a task that machine learning could jump on and automate, based on parameters and examples. That could give us neat new looks without taking development time from other projects.

However… Blizzard talked about doing this years ago and we haven’t seen it happen, so I wonder if it’s on the table anymore.

Staying close to home, I think the Lightsmith Paladin sounds awesome, a class that constructs weapons and defenses out of the light itself. It seems like such a cool way to wield the light. The final result is something that’s clunky and adds a new rotational button to an already bloated class. On the healing side, it probably doesn’t have enough throughput to run as a raid healer; so I’ll probably be running Herald of the Sun instead. (Though Lightsmith was just nerfed so it could swing the other way.) A shame. I thought this was such a cool concept.

I also love Conduit of the Celestials for Monks. The name alone presents an evocative theme, a Monk fully focused on channeling these celestial powers. I don’t actively play a Monk, but I might finish leveling mine to max after the pre-patch lands and play it more.

And that’s all for now, my friends. I hope you have a good day and a good weekend to follow. Take care of yourselves and try to find some time for that video game backlog — it’s probably lonely.