Which Azerothian Olympic event would you most want to watch?
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The Opening Ceremonies for the 2024 Paris Summer Olympic Games are coming up on Friday, so let’s speculate on what the that would look like if the inhabitants of Azeroth could stop fighting for two weeks so they could participate in surfing and breakdancing competitions. As the self-appointed Interdimensional Olympic Committee Chairperson, I am ruling that all spells and abilities are fair game.
Some events would be neatly dominated by one class. Druids in Aquatic Form would rack up medals in the pool. The judo brackets would be filled with nothing but Monks. Keep your wallet in your front pocket if you attend any fencing competitions, since it will be Rogue central.
Many of the track events would be a toss-up. Would Sprint be enough to win you the 100m dash? Might Shamans be more likely to win endurance races in Ghost Wolf form? I think the intermediate distances would be the most competitive — any class could win! (Not you, Death Knight.)
I have soft spot in these kind of competitions for the underdogs and the dark horse athletes. The archery range would be filled with Hunters, but perhaps a grizzled old Warrior sharpshooter knocks the rust off their bow and earns a medal. It would be nearly impossible to compete with Demon Hunters in most of the jumping events, but could a Paladin make an impact if they weren’t weighed down by all that plate? I think my mage could be a Cinderella in the boxing ring — he spent a lot of time punching furlbogs back when leveling your unarmed skill gave you an achievement.
If I had to choose an event to watch, it would probably be a team sport. I can envision an epic volleyball gold medal match between a team of just the right mix of classes and abilities and six mages rotating their Mirror Image cooldowns.
Which competition would you get a ticket for?
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