Here’s the smorgasbord of delicious meals awaiting you from the Cooking profession in The War Within

Every expansion in World of Warcraft brings with it tasty new Cooking recipes, from recipes so good they became actual real-life recipes to the nearly-inedible foods of Shadowlands (I guess Brokers didn’t know that most of us don’t like Pickled Meat Smoothies and Butterscotch Marinated Ribs). The War Within also includes a large variety of new foods (including food that lasts through death!), many of which have a fun twist on the fact that you’re spending a lot of time in cave systems. Expect to eat a lot of mushrooms and fish.

And then, well, there’s the Nerubian recipes.

Let’s see what you might whip up on your trip down the Coreway, shall we?

Prep work, snacks, and easy meals (0-45 Cooking skill)

Now, anyone who’s tried their hand in the kitchen will know the value of prep work. It appears chefs in The War Within will as well — aside from store-bought ingredients, or extremely rare ingredients for the highest-end foods, many of your recipes will start with making one of four prepared ingredients: Portioned Steak (made of any 5 meats), Spiced Meat Stock (ditto), Fresh Fillet (made of any 5 fish — but I suggest not using the rarest ones), or Chopped Mycobloom (made from Mycobloom, an herb).

It’s worth noting that these prepared ingredients don’t have any quality ratings, unlike most ingredients in professions these days. Food also doesn’t have quality ratings; instead, having high skill simply means you produce more servings from the same ingredients.

From there, you’ll move on to skilling up on the two lowest categories, Snacks and “Quick and Easy” recipes. In general, Snacks are made from simply prepared ingredients, while Quick and Easy recipes are made from Snacks as well as a handful of vendor-purchased ingredients. For example, you can turn your Chopped Mycobloom into Roasted Mycobloom with nothing more than a cooking fire, but if you want Pan-Seared Mycobloom, you’ll need those Roasted Mycoblooms plus a handful of Crunchy Peppers from a vendor. In general, these eight recipes all work the same way, raising your lowest secondary stat, but Snacks only last 15 minutes while Quick and Easy meals last for half an hour.

My favorite? Hallowfall Chili sounds pretty tasty to me, full of steak, spices, and peppers. Just don’t ask what the Unseasoned Field Steak is actually made of.

Nutritious and delicious (45-70 Cooking skill)

The middle tiers of food start to get more complicated, and are often made up of a mix of prepared ingredients and other beginner recipes mixed together. The largest category, “A Full Belly,” is made of foods that raise two secondary stats — such as Chippy Tea, which raises Mastery and Haste — or one secondary stat for slightly more, like Fiery Fish Sticks, which raise your Critical Strike. There are also four blue-quality foods in this category that raise your Stamina, or Stamina plus a primary stat — Tender Twilight Jerky, Sweet and Sour Meatballs, Meat and Potatoes, and Rib Stickers. Those four have upgraded versions once you hit 70 skill — Angler’s Delight, Mycobloom Risotto, Stuffed Cave Peppers, and the absolutely delectable sounding Sizzling Honey Roast.

Want to share with your friends? Luckily, 70 Cooking skill is also where you learn your last two trainer recipes — the Jester’s Board, which boosts the eater’s highest secondary stat, and The Sushi Special, which does exactly the same thing but also restores mana, for which reason (I guess) it requires several rare fish. At Cooking skill 75 you’ll also learn how to make 10 feasts into a Hearty Feast that lasts through death, which might be a boon for folks running difficult new content!

After that it gets weird

Not quite “how do you think an Old God tastes” weird, but close. Oh sure, there are some items you’ll earn from elsewhere that are relatively ordinary — Beledar’s Bounty, from a quest in Hallowfall, is just an extremely efficient food for raising your secondary stats, while the Feast of the Divine Day and Feast of the Midnight Masquerade, both requiring 100 Cooking skill, are primary stat feasts with differing ingredient lists.

But then, eventually, you’re going to learn how to make Fine Egg Powder from Polo in the City of Threads, a goblin who appears to have figured out how to powderize eggs. Any kind of egg. Even things that arguably aren’t eggs. And what do you do with that ingredient? Why, you can make a fine Protein Slurp (makes you 1% bigger!), or whip yourself up a Spongey Scramble. You can even turn the Scramble into a treat for your battle pets, the Little Buddy Biscuit, which has the same benefit as a bandage. Perhaps you’d rather learn how to make things yourself from a Nerubian and not a desperate goblin? Well, they’ll teach you how to make the Azj-Kahet Special, which makes you move 20% faster when you’re questing down there. Just don’t ask what’s in it.

This expansion even has dessert! Grab some honeycombs, flour, and Spongey Scrambles, and make yourself every kobold’s favorite treat, a Melted Candlebar. It claims you can’t imagine sharing it with anyone else. You no take candle… bar!

You know what? I think I lost my appetite.