The Queue: Fever

It’s the time of year where I want to listen to smooth blues and jazz and float in a kiddie pool with a freeze pop and umbrella drink, while somebody smokes a rack of ribs near me all day. Sunglasses on, thoughts off.

This is The Queue, our daily Q&A column where you ask us questions, and don’t worry, our laptop is sealed in a baggy and floating on a cooler lid.

Probably not. They’re too bulky to hide properly behind the curtains or whatever, and they don’t move fast enough to smoke bomb before someone notices, or to do things like riposte. They’d do alright for stand-and-deliver fights, but in that case they’d probably make better tanks than DPS anyway, because the whole shell thing.

Also a Tortollan wearing an eyepatch is less rugged and dashing, and more sad ASPCA ad.

It’s tough to say whether it’s on my own, but aside from those times I get a wild hair and just go play, I don’t play Bethesda games without some degree of mod assistance for this exact reason. Beyond just making things like the UI easier to deal with, you can also address bugs relatively easily. Plus, if you mess up, almost everything in those games can be fixed with a console command or two.

On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, take the example of a game like Boyfriend Dungeon. It would be ridiculous to have a disclaimer like that on Boyfriend Dungeon. It’s literally about people turning into weapons, and then you fight through isometric dungeons with them, like it’s a date but also it’s fight club. However, the characters have their own storylines which are somewhat realistic. Without giving too much away, there’s one weapon with a clingy ex, there’s another who likes spending time with you but he’s a cazanova and doesn’t want anything serious, and there’s another who has a fraught relationship with his father which you help him through — which can be unhealthy in its own way. I can definitely see a writer using real people as general inspiration there, even if their friends don’t, you know, become swords.

There are very few games, even the wackiest weirdest ones, that don’t have some grounding in a realistic situation in one way or another.