The Queue: Quickly!
@CoryjTaylor
I ordered a new razor on Amazon recently, and it arrived that same day! That’s so quick! Unbelievably quick. Too quick. Mankind was not meant to have such convenience at our fingertips. I’m going to show my age here, but anything ordered online should take at a minimum two weeks to arrive, and more often four weeks. That’s just the natural order of things!
Most of the time, we didn’t even know if the thing we ordered was legit, or if we’d just gotten scammed. You just had to assume that things were going to work out with your things. Ah, the memories.
The new razor is good, though! It turns out if you spend more than the minimum amount on a product, sometimes you get a good product.
While I go and place an order for more cat food to arrive at my door before this even goes live, it’s time for — The Queue!
I just learned you can rename the recruits in Final Fantasy Tactics…
…
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Q4tQ: For no reason in particular, which of the following jobs would you like to be? One job per Queue poster, first one to reply with a job claims it.
Knight, Samurai, Monk, Dragoon, Dancer, Geomancer, Archer, Thief, Ninja, Dark Knight, Onion Knight, White Mage, Black Mage, Time Mage, Summoner, Mystic, Orator, Bard, Mathematician, Mime.
What an excellent selection of jobs for people to do to save the world. With Mime on the list, though, I’m a little surprised there isn’t also Street Magician and Acrobat. Also, what’s up with no Druid option? Final Fantasy Tactics better shape up! Sure, it ranks up there with most beloved Final Fantasy products, but still! I’m watching it. Always watching…
Oh, and put me down for Dark Knight. If I can’t be a Druid, I’d better be able to be goth as heck.
Q4tQ: Okay, we already had a mini meta-achievement for WW, focused on patch 11.0. We didn’t get a mini-meta for 11.1… do you think we’re one and done with mini-metas for this expansion, or will they roll out a new one with stuff to do in .1 AND .2?
Well, with no mini meta in sight, I don’t think that they’re going to squeeze one in over top of Legion Remix and the Midnight Alpha hype. A mini-meta is just too mini for the end of the expansion, and what’s even left to give you a mount of? Dimensius? He doesn’t really fit with a mini-meta achievement. More of a maxi-mini-meta achievement.
Get it? Because he’s so large? I crack me up.
I could see them adding a full War Within meta as Midnight launches to keep giving people reasons to go back and do some of the little things they might’ve skipped when they were content. There is a whole house to furnish with the latest in Goblin doodads.
It’s so lame that there’s such a huge difference in experience between holiday bosses.
With Headless Horseman, you have a properly tuned fight, and even an optional per-player “hard mode” toggle. It’s fantastic, it’s perfect.
With the Apothecaries, you have an easy fight that tends to get easier and easier. But at least there are mechanics there. Far from ideal, but meh. Mostly acceptable.
With Coren Direbrew now… it’s pretty much “push a button to queue, wait a few seconds to see if you got the mount or not.” Kinda like a roulette, or an RNG simulator. It does not spark joy.
Yeah, of the five different holiday boss encounters (Ahune, Crown Chemical, Headless Horseman, Coren Direbrew, Greench), Headless Horseman really stands out as being the best. Simply because it’s had the most love given to it. I included Winter’s Veil in my count of bosses because it kind of is, even if you don’t queue for it. They’re kind of a holdover from early design decisions that haven’t really stood the test of time. But updating them to be something more engaging is going to take working on content that already exists — and only exists for two weeks at a time — instead of working on new things… So y’know, it’s probably a tough sell to the powers that be at Blizzard.
They should all be given facelifts to bring them more in line with the Halloween event, though. If they really wanted to, they could even change it to be more of a Nightmare Before Christmas situation with a whole bunch of doors to the different holiday bosses. Throw some Goblins and Gnomes into the thing as a framing device as they’re trying to harvest Holiday Cheer or something, but things go awry, and they accidentally supercharge the bosses and make them more deadly.
That’s just some quick napkin plotting, though. I’m sure if given some actual time, the fine folks at Warcraft could come up with a better reason to squeeze these bosses into a more generic arena that lets them become fun fights. Because you’re right, the hardest part of the boss shouldn’t be the time spent in a queue as a DPS, especially when that queue lasts several minutes and the fights take only 20 seconds.
QftQ: Has anyone ever figured out one of the references you used for a character name?
Back in Cata, I made a worgen mage (now dwarf) , and named him after Robert Hooke , primarily off of his appearance in Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle.
And literally within a minute of posting in chat, one of the guild officers gave the aforementioned English polymath as the likely source of the name. Which kind of surprised me, actually.
Well, most of my characters use a variation of Zel now. Named after my first fully leveled character, Zelia the Draenei/Blood Elf Paladin. To my knowledge, nobody has ever clocked where I got her name from, and since all of my other characters are named for her, they can’t get figured out. I have gotten people asking after hearing people calling me Zel, if I’m named after the guy in Final Fantasy 8 who really really likes hot dogs, though. Which I mean, I do like hot dogs, but that’s not the inspiration.
The standouts are my Mages for some reason. I have Scottpilgrim, the Orcish Frost Mage, who was named that at a time when you could glitch your Water Elemental to get a changeable pet name (Ramona), or Firefox the Vulpera Fire Mage, who needs no explanation. Both of those are fairly obvious, though.
Bacardi is busy this week, drumming up some extra good loot for you. Since he looks like a big kitty drumstick, get it? I still crack me up.
Would you rather?
Drive through the desert with no air-conditioning and all the windows rolled up
Or
Drive a convertible top-down through a heavy snowstorm
Today’s Anna Earworm™: Bat Out of Hell
I hope you all have an excellent week. Next time I see you, it’ll be in October, the best month!
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