Seven videos of baby pygmy hippo Mars sitting down when zookeepers (and mom) wanted him to stand up

Watchers, it may be Monday (and thus, full of suffering), but we can still find ways to enjoy ourselves. Now, we’ve previously introduced Mars to our readers, but we’ve never taken a deep dive into his many talents, such as cuteness, sass, and increasing gravitational pull on his body. Truly, Mars is at the top of his skill game when it comes to becoming a completely immovable object to his keepers, and we get to enjoy the proof in these YouTube shorts.

All images and video by the Tanganyika Wildlife Park

Mars is dedicated to his pool time, but did you know he’s also the first pygmy hippo to achieve flight? The narrator of this short also gets at least a few points for commentary — “go limp and chill strategy” and “from water to door, Mars travels first class” are A+ notes. This is also one of the earliest clips where we see Mars beginning to patent his passive resistance technique.

Our first clip featuring Keeper Sierra (who later co-stars in many “Mars is immovable” videos on the internet) also highlights Mars engaging his stealth mode. Between branch, ledge, and water, Mars is absolutely invisible to the human watcher. Also features Sierra’s professional impression of pygmy hippo mom noises.

This is the short that first latched our attention onto Mars’ resistance capabilities. And it’s easy to see why! Mars loves the pool so much that the zookeepers had to call in Mom to intervene. At least Mars, even as a baby, has enough wisdom to realize that Mom means business and gets moving.

And now for our favorite part of the Mars-rooted-in-place videos — the Mars Attacks song, as coined by Keeper Sierra. This is also the clip that led us at Blizzard Watch HQ to refer to Mars as a baked potato. His progressive flop from standing in the corner, to sitting, to fully laying down getting pets and scratches is a 10 out of 10. We get it, Mars, our legs don’t work during naptime either.

Now we’re on safari in the elusive forests of Goddard, KS. Is that a baby pigmy hippo, or a rock? Who knows! Oh wait, there was a blink. Yeah, that’s a baby hippo.

Mars is a pro at conserving his energy. When faced with the decision of “move or nap,” always choose nap. Keeper Danielle gets the A+ here for a beautifully executed hippo scoop.

We often see Mars using his powers of gravitational pull on the keepers, but this time, his mom, Posie, gets to enjoy the action. Posie just wants a snack, but Mars Potato Jones has decided otherwise. Mom can eat around the baby — that’s his nap spot.

BONUS! Tanganyika Wildlife Park maintains a “Mars the Baby Hippo Live Cam” stream of the pygmy hippo’s outdoor enclosure, where maybe you too can catch Mars in full paperweight mode. There’s even the following helpful note on the stream feed so folks can plan their viewing:

Baby Mars will be on exhibit most days from 12-4PM. You might be able to catch him inside though. If you can’t see him, there’s still an indoor pool out of view of the camera. Or he might be napping in the shade.

Now, the hippos don’t go outside if the temperature is at or below 50°. Additionally, the outdoor components of the park close for winter from November 17 to March 14, and we don’t yet know if they’ll be transferring the livestream to the indoors enclosure. That said, I would be amazed if Mars’ antics weren’t captured in some video form. To keep up with Mars and other Tanganyika residents, follow the wildlife park on social media: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.