The Queue: The Admiral’s a dragon?!

The new Hearthstone set has our favorite Infinite Pirate Dragon, and now they’ve gotten a promotion! No longer a mere Time Captain, now they’re an Admiral. Does that mean that there are whole fleets of pirate ships out there under the command of a Dragon? Does that feel more or less dangerous than a regular old dragon?

Surely it can’t be that hard to convince a bunch of pirates to follow you if you are a dragon, y’know, you’ve got all those claws and teeth and such. I just feel like it’s more impressive if they’re achieving their goals through straight-up Dragon stuff, rather than convincing a bunch of weak-willed pirates to do pirate stuff.

Yes, all of this was an excuse to use this card art as my header. Why do you ask?

While I go find more awesome card art in the new Hearthstone expansion, it’s time for — The Queue!

I guess I gotta say Illidan. Simply because Gul’Dan is just so one-note moustache-twirling evil that I don’t see much in the way of story possibility there. Like sure, you could try and give him some depth or humanity (Orcmanity?), and total monsters have gotten that kind of treatment before, but his whole deal seems to be a quest for power at any cost. Not a lot to work with there storywise. Illidan at least has the complex anti-hero stuff happening, and a love triangle. Those are good for a few more story beats, even if it’s just resolving it once and for all.

I do like good ol’ evil characters getting screen time! They’re fun to beat up on and are great for moving plots forward. Gul’dan just doesn’t have the juice anymore. We’ve seen him too much for him to be properly scary. Let’s drop some fresh evil blood into things and get some new villains some screen time!

That weird little candle guy looks so cute. So definitely Friend-shaped, but also, I imagine that they’re likely going to cause all sorts of wacky mischief and chaos. Not necessarily through their own malice, just by dint of being a sentient lump of candle wax with a flame on top. Little fires, everywhere! Local pets terrorized and stuck in waxy puddles!

They could also be using their cuteness as a trick to lull you into a false sense of security and then — bam! Next thing you know, you’ve been shanked and your wallet’s been stolen.

Here’s the problem with novelty flavors like that. I would love to try one of these Oreos. I might even be able to muster up the courage to try a second cookie to confirm its awfulness. I just don’t want to commit to buying a whole box of weird cookies. Then I’m stuck with them because I hate wasting food. I get why things like that only come in standard packaging, because then they can get more money out of your curiosity.

It’s the same reason why I can’t get a sample size of the new weird ice cream flavors at the summer carnival. Sure, I’d love to try a bite of ketchup, mustard, or mac and cheese soft serve, that sounds weird and I’m in! Oh, I need to buy a whole big cone? Never mind then.

I like trying weird stuff! I just don’t like overcommitting to trying lots of weird stuff.

I don’t. That’s a lot of hat to be responsible for! What if you’re not cool enough to wear it, it’ll wear you! I would be the laughing stock of the town for feeling that I could pull off a chill hat like that. I don’t even own a cowboy hat, and those are way easier to pull off around here! Seriously, all you need to make those work is brown shoes, blue jeans, a flannel shirt, and a big belt buckle. Easy peasy.

I do have a pretty sweet Mountain Dew trucker hat, though. Nobody will doubt where I stand in the upcoming Cola Wars. I also have countless toques (knit beanies for you non-Canucks) that I’ve gotten as promotional things or through work. You can never have enough of those, even if all I ever seem to wear is my nice and comfy red one. The red ones keep your head warm faster than all of the other colors out there.

Today’s Bacardi has abandoned me for a much kookier and creepier family. I guess I can’t fault him; he’ll be very happy there. Wish him well in his new adventures with two snaps, and then he might even share some of the Addams’ fortune with you!

Would you rather

Get a TV show based on a property you like that is really good, but doesn’t stick to established lore/story beats

Or

Get a mediocre TV show based on a property you like that has a slavish devotion to source material

Today’s Anna Earworm™: Trouble

I hope everyone has an excellent week and leaves Anna lots of excellent questions to make her Queue excellent.

Excellent.