The Queue: It’s been a weekend

I had a nice, relaxing weekend out and about (or oot and aboot if you’re Canadian), and I’m already missing it.

It’s very rude that weekends are only two days long; we should all get together and petition someone to make them longer. Maybe three or four days! That’d be nice and civilized, I think.

While I go back to work and grumble about not being able to sleep more, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

Look at Mr Moneybags over here just casually talking about buying a new house and moving to somewhere with more light!

I know this is about Warcraft housing, but it still sounds just so casually 1% that it made me chuckle. Still not as casually 1% as the guy I raided with, who found out we were taking a Thursday night off because of a holiday, and just slipped into conversation that he’d take the opportunity to look at yachts. This wasn’t just idly looking at a magazine full of yachts, either; this was a guy who could fully afford a luxury sailing vessel and was likely going to be wined and dined by yacht salespeople. To answer your next question, no, he didn’t buy me a yacht.

You can’t just tell a woman that her hitbox is very fat. That’s just not done in polite society!

At least the Red Wings are leading the league in Playoff drought now! That’s something…

This just frees you up to cheer for the best team in the NHL (who hasn’t won a cup in 36 years) — The Edmonton Oilers!

Woo! We made the playoffs, we did it!!

We’re gonna get eliminated in the second round easily! Woooooo!

The Oilers haven’t been playing super great hockey this year. They’ve been fine, but it hasn’t been outstanding, and maybe they’ll lock in during the playoffs, but I’m not holding my breath. The whole Pacific division hasn’t been playing super well, and the three other divisions have all put up more points in a more decisive manner. I’m fully willing to be surprised, but I just don’t think that the Oilers are going to be the scrappy underdogs this time around. The goal-tending just isn’t there to truly be a force to be reckoned with. During the last two Stanley Cup Playoffs, I never knew who the Florida Panthers’ second goalie was, but I surely knew who ours was. Now we don’t even have either goalie who got us to the Stanley Cup finals, and we didn’t trade them for marked improvements…

I hope I’m wrong, I’ll be as happy as any Edmontonian if they can pull it off!

I think yes, because at worst, you only need 50% of the community to be kung fu fighting. I’d say that anyone fighting someone who is kung fu fighting would be counted as kung fu fighting as well. So as long as everyone who can kung fu fight fights someone else who can’t kung fu fight, you’re still going to have a full 100% of fighting be kung fu fighting.

The better question is whether or not everybody will Wang Chung tonight.

Oh, it very much extends to eternity in my books.

That truly is the cursed monkey’s paw wish: you’ll be left floating in utter blackness, unable to do anything long after the heat death of the universe.

That depends. Are you making them happy because you’re just a nice person to be around? Do you remember their various likes and dislikes, and then interact with them in a way that makes their day better as a result of remembering those? Are you going out of your way to take small stresses off their shoulders?

Or are you just using an innate ability to alter their brain chemistry? Because I’d say that the former is how you can make people happy without a superpower, and if you have to use some ability that only you have to make someone happy, it’s trending towards a power situation.

The math checks out; you must have really been in Canada!

I do hope you got to the Tim Hortons. It’s not the most amazing doughnut/coffee place out there, but a late-night drunken apple fritter is hard to beat.

Today’s Bacardi has accidentally been flashbanged. I’m sure that it’ll wear off in time for him to be able to stock your vaults with the good stuff that you like. But if you don’t get exactly what you wanted make sure to submit a request form in triplicate to his complaint department, and he’ll get right on fixing that for you.

Would you rather

Have your favorite band release a new album

Or

Discover two new bands that are close but not quite as good as your favorite band

Today’s Anna Earworm™: Who Will You Follow

Happy new Evanesence weekend to you all! They were the first proper rock concert I saw, and I will always have a soft spot for them in my spooky heart. I’m very much looking forward to the new album coming later this year. I’m also looking forward to seeing all of the questions you leave for Anna tomorrow.