The Queue: Would you rather

So, there weren’t really any questions that spoke to me from the Friday Queue. Sometimes this happens!

This means you get a Queue full of me answering random “Would you rather” questions I found online.

While I go find an eyepatch to put on a racoon, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

I gotta go with the 10 minutes into the future. There are too many ways that I could make my life pretty comfortable by doing that. Ten minutes might be too far to win big money at the casino, but I could make some off-track bets on horses and come out ok.

Seeing 150 years in the future would be neat, but I feel like it’d just be a tease or totally depressing. Best case, humanity is living in a golden age, and we’ve solved all of our issues. Worst case, barren, lifeless rock, and I can see that any time already by just looking at pictures from the Mars rover. It would be really interesting to see what kind of results the actions of the present day would have on the visions 150 years from now. Like if I buy an ice cream for a kid, and they grow up to be the next worldwide religious leader, and everybody knows the story of the kind ice cream stranger. That would be cool! Not very useful, but cool.

In either one, I’m not assuming that I would survive for a long time. The zombies feel like the way to go, though. They’re more likely to be outsmarted. Most of the zombie media we have show little bands of humans able to build colonies by being smart about things; it’s a lot harder to survive the robot apocalypse. They have way better scanners usually.  Search grids and all that. It’s especially bad if there’s some sort of intelligence behind the robots. If they’re just dumb farming bots that see all of humanity as rogue weeds, that’s one thing. But if there’s a bunch of robots that humanity mistreated and are out for revenge? That’s going to be a tough one to endure.

Parking spot all the time. I’d rather have to leave twice as early, but be able to get a perfect spot. Especially if that perfect spot is free. I mean, it would have to be, what kind of perfect spot isn’t free? Also how annoying would it be to have made great time getting home from some event, but then not be able to park at your house?

Michael Scott. Sure, he would be an annoying boss to work for, but he’d also wind up being fun sometimes. Mr Burns would just ignore you at best, and at worst turn your job into building a sun blocker or other super-villain scheme.

This could be any pop-culture property wedding vs any other pop-culture property funeral, and I think I’m always going with the funeral. A wedding is just so personal and important that I always feel like it should be about the couple and not really about a movie or TV show. A funeral though, that’s exactly the moment to let your personality through one last time. It’d be memorable for sure. People would probably leave in better spirits about the whole thing than if it had been just another boring time.

Tough one! I’m going with the bigger number because, at least in Canada, our money is more like plastic now. I’m grabbing that sucker and immediately going and washing both it and my hands. Now, if it’s in the US? I think I’m going with the safer and drier $20. I think it’d have to be a visibly large wad of bills, like the kind that rich gangsters would flash around while they’re getting excellent service, to reach in and grab paper-based money from a toilet.

I think clown. There’s way less pressure there to have a life-changing result. At the worst, little Timmy has a bad birthday. Unlike a teacher doing the worst and destroying somebody’s life. Sure, there might be more respect at large for being a teacher, but if you play your clown cards right, you could be pretty popular online. Look at all those fun circus performers doing neat shows at Renaissance fairs!

Nicolas Cage in a heartbeat. Ryan has made some fun movies, but he has nowhere near the range that Cage does. Ryan seems to have gotten stuck in permanent snarky mode, and while that can be fun, it’s a one-note gimmick, and thus most of the movies play the same. I’m not saying that he doesn’t have a soulful turn deep down, but he’s gotta prove it first.

Nicolas Cage, though, has an Oscar and a bunch of other awards. He’s earned those, and it always seems like he’s just having a bunch of fun making movies.

Today’s Bacardi has had such a busy weekend of napping, sleeping, snoozing, resting, and just taking a load off —  he’s pooped. It’s a wonder cats are able to get any time for themselves with their busy schedules like that. Maybe he’ll still be able to find some time to get you shiny loot. Maybe he’ll finally get me some Mythic Uniques in Diablo 4, who knows!

Would you rather

Receive $100,000 for sleeping in a tent in a cemetary every night for a year

Or

Receive $75,000 for standing in a busy public square once a week for a year wearing a fedora and holding a sign that says I know everything, let me prove it. For a couple of hours a week over a year.

Today’s Anna Earworm™: Should I Stay or Should I Go

I hope you all have a fun week! I also hope you leave Anna lots of questions for tomorrow.