Phil Xavier

You’ve become an ace at doing cardio. Kids smile as you jog past them, dogs happily wag their tails, strangers break into song. You can eat as many baguettes as you want: bread doesn’t make you fat.

Suddenly you pass in front of a shop window, and you see your reflection: you realize that you’re wearing a comedic prisoner outfit. Black-and-white stripes, baggy trousers, and the number 24601 plastered across your chest.

At that moment, the sky darkens with heavy clouds, and dramatic music starts to play. Timpani thunder, brass blares, ceremonious cannonballs. A baritone voice can be heard, loud and clear:

“Halt, 24601!”

Inspector Javert barrels into view, running after you, every step a moral judgment. Now you understand why cardio feels so effortless: the universe has turned you into the ultimate sprinter, because running from Javert is a marathon with no finish line in sight, and the audience always asks for another encore.

This is The Queue, where life can be a musical, but that also means life is a musical.

Hearthstone Battlegrounds has just had its new season announced, and it's a pretty exciting one, with lots of content.

I’ve been very busy these days — work, personal life, relatives, everything seemed to hit all at once. I’ve barely had time to play videogames! WoW has been almost completely on hold (since I do have to prioritize keeping up with Hearthstone), and despite being super close to completing 100% of the achievements on Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, my progress has slowed down to a crawl.

Oh well! This is The Queue, where even writers who are super busy can still find some time to answer your questions — you’re just that special.

Valeera won’t stop collecting. Not until the map is 100% explored.

This is The Queue, where I make it a habit of turning certain questions into silly vignettes. It’s good creative exercise, I tell you!

Welcome to the Lost City, explorer!

There's a hidden Tortollan city deep in the Un'Goro Crater, and Hearthstone's latest expansion, The Lost City of Un’Goro, is taking us there.

All I need in life right now is to sit on a fluffy cloud and spend all day fishing while gently floating above a placid body of water.

This is The Queue. You know the drill.

For the third time in a row, you can try out the cards from an upcoming expansion in a special pre-release Tavern Brawl: this time, The Lost City of Un'goro cards are here ahead of the official release on July 8.

Turtles are friends. We all like turtles. Even scary zombies like turtles.

Dinosaurs cost $158.

The solution to that Dinos vs. Tortollans battle is easy. Turtles win!

This is The Queue, where the philosophy behind reptilian warfare — and more! — is in vogue and consequential. You ask, we deliver.

Hearthstone is going to add interactive cosmetic pets that cheer you on as you play — but what should have been a fun addition to the game is marred by the rather predatory process of actually acquiring said pet.