Phil Xavier

All I need in life right now is to sit on a fluffy cloud and spend all day fishing while gently floating above a placid body of water.

This is The Queue. You know the drill.

For the third time in a row, you can try out the cards from an upcoming expansion in a special pre-release Tavern Brawl: this time, The Lost City of Un'goro cards are here ahead of the official release on July 8.

Turtles are friends. We all like turtles. Even scary zombies like turtles.

Dinosaurs cost $158.

The solution to that Dinos vs. Tortollans battle is easy. Turtles win!

This is The Queue, where the philosophy behind reptilian warfare — and more! — is in vogue and consequential. You ask, we deliver.

Hearthstone is going to add interactive cosmetic pets that cheer you on as you play — but what should have been a fun addition to the game is marred by the rather predatory process of actually acquiring said pet.

There’s a lot going on in WoW right now. I can’t keep up!

Is this what it feels like to be a filthy casual?!

As I ponder all of my life choices that led to this moment, I’ll regale you with some answers to your questions!

It’s Friday the 13th, and I’m scared. Hold me, Queue!

Tactics? Ha! Everyone’s got them. The Jinyu contemplate things like it’s some kind of staring contest. The Shado-Pan meditate before battle like they’re heading out for tea time. Me? I dance through the chaos, and the chaos dances for me.

The key to ‘tactics’ is this: be what they don’t expect. When they guard high, strike low! When they chase you, lead them off a cliff! When they think they’ve won, you’re already three steps ahead, stealing their luckydos and trading ’em to the grummles for a rampaging yak!

Sometimes a clever trick beats a thousand blades. Sometimes a banana peel wins a war.

– The Monkey King

Two Old Gods enter. One Old God gets consumed by everyone attending the event. Which one is it? The hearty and savory Yogg-Ramen or the zesty, vibrant Punch-Saron?

Do we want our guests to be full and relaxed or uplifted and sociable? In fact, what kind of event are we having here? Where are we?!

Are we in a cult?!?

As we feel the dread creep in and question all of our life decisions that led us to this moment, somehow working in catering for a tall, strange man who’s hired us and paid us really well, but is definitely hiding some tentacles in that robe of his, let’s forget all of that and just Queue for a moment.

The long-awaited revamp to Arena Mode in Hearthstone is finally coming, and the improvements are many.

For the past few weeks I’ve been playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, and after a rough beginning where I thought I wasn’t gonna adapt to the combat system, things finally clicked as soon as I started Act 2 of the game, and I’m loving it as much as a Frenchman loves debating existentialism over some coffee and a cigarette.

It’s such a French game, mon vieux.

That outfit on the header picture is literally called “Baguette,” and it’s the first one you find in the game. It’s almost like the devs were completely aware that the internet was gonna make memes with the fact that this is a French game set on a very France-inspired place, and decided to just rip the bandaid off and get on with more important things.

Either way, this is Le Queue and we’re on a mission to answer questions and eat baguettes — and we’re all out of baguettes. Because the characters in that game took them all and strapped them to their backs for some reason. Iunno, maybe they think they’ll get hungry later.