Hippos

I’m not saying that telling someone to hug a hippo is attempted murder. But I am saying that it’s a very, very bad idea to actually follow that advice. I know you’ve all heard about how cute house hippos are, but they don’t actually exist and real hippos are considered one of the most dangerous animals in the world.

I’m honestly not surprised, considering that they can weigh up to four and a half to five tons and have tusks the size of railroad spikes. To put this in context, a hippo could body an Allosaurus, because it weighs almost twice as much as the biggest estimated sized Allosaurus specimen we have to date.

Please do not hug a hippo. It will kill you if you are lucky.