Officers’ Quarters: Persons of interest

Person A versus Person B is a conflict. Throw Person B’s significant other into the mix and you have a quagmire. This week on Officers’ Quarters, we’ve got gquits, drama, and a dash of cybercrime.

Question 1: This seems like the kind of drama that is more prone to erupt when people are talking in an online chat interface instead of face to face. Tone is so easily misconstrued in inflectionless text, without facial expressions to convey nuance. It’s my least favorite kind of drama to deal with because it always seems like it should be a quick fix and it rarely is.

Pile on top of that the significant other tag-teaming Person A. That’s unfortunate for everyone involved, because it certainly escalated the situation rather than defuse it. As an officer here, you’re in an awkward position. You never want to get in between a player and their SO. You can have a private conversation with Person C explaining that you understand why they did what they did, but ask them in the future to please talk to you about a problem before approaching another guild member.

As far as next steps for Player A, give them some time to cool off and then ask them to come back — assuming that won’t be a dealbreaker for Players B and C. He or she will feel more appreciated if you ask instead of he or she asking you. Then make sure everything will be OK between these three players by talking to them individually. Don’t put them all on the spot with one another again, since that backfired once already. It’s not worth it.

Question 2: Raiders with good attendance and good attitude are a rare and precious commodity. My advice is to have a talk with him about how you guys can work together to address some of the concerns you have. At all costs, keep the talk friendly and nonjudgmental. You won’t find a solution to everything, but maybe you can compromise on one issue or another so you feel better about bringing him back on board. Maybe a trial run in your nonprogression raid might be in order to see how it goes, and to get him some gear in the meantime if he needs it. Overall, though, it sounds like the morale boost from his presence might outweigh the other considerations, especially in light of recent drama (Question 1).

First, cancel the Mumble server he knows about and get a new one. It’s a pain, I know, but it’s better to be safe. Odds are this guy is just bluffing, but why risk it when you don’t have to?

Second, if you can legally figure out his IP address in your country/state, ban it from your new Mumble, your guild’s website, and anything else he might have access to. I don’t know the technical details of this, but I’m sure someone in your guild does.

Third, make sure all of his alts are no longer on the roster.

Fourth, report his behavior to Blizzard. Take screenshots of whispers with time stamps or tell them the dates/times of interactions. He could face a temporary suspension and then a permanent account ban if he continues in this fashion.

Fifth, don’t interact with him. Place his characters on /ignore and don’t reply to any emails. Most likely he’s just looking to get a rise out of you. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

Sixth, if you want to get hardcore about this, you could report him to the Internet Crime Complaint Center in the U.S. Threatening to steal someone’s financial information is a serious thing. I don’t advocate reporting him yet, but that’s the place to go if the situation escalates or you think he really did make an attempt to steal your credit card info. Document everything and save every email in case you need to take action against him.

Some people react very poorly to criticism and rejection. It’s human nature. That doesn’t justify his behavior, however. Based on the way he handled this situation, it sounds like you did the right thing by getting rid of this guy. It’s disappointing that you now have to deal with all of this nonsense, but that’s part of the job sometimes.

It’s noble of you to offer to leave the guild. You could make the same offer to him to see what he says, but I think you’d both be better off if you could talk about why he’s angry. If you can figure out the reason for his absence, then maybe you can figure out how to raid with each other again.

All you can do is continue to reach out. If he won’t talk to you, that’s out of your hands. But leaving the guild and raid without a leader is not what’s best for the community. Either you have to do it or he has to. Don’t leave them with no one.

/salute