The Queue: Matthew Rossi answers your questions

I have a beard! I’m grumpy all the time! I love dinosaurs and Warriors! I pretend to be old video game characters and talk to pixelated swords!

This is the Queue. Let’s all pretend there could really be someone as ridiculous as Matthew Rossi and watch him answer some questions about Blizzard games.

If this was a real bug fix you would ride to the Broken Shore on the back of a Spinosaur dual wielding Ashkandi while you were also dual wielding Ashkandi and you’d get a special attack called Beardstorm that would kill all demons in your way.

Was that Rossi enough? Man, it’s hard to play this character.

I don’t know how it works for the other, lesser classes, but for Warriors it works like this — you never get your shoulders to drop, so you never find out.

I believe it basically works exactly as you suggested as of the last Alpha build. I went to ICC and farmed up a bunch of Heroic tier, and I have the various pieces unlocked, the 10 man shoulders, the 25 man shoulders, and then the Heroic 25 man shoulders.

As a human-yeti hybrid who loves weapons so much that there’s no way I can bring myself to throw them out or disenchant them, I’m glad to report that Void Storage is staying in the game so I can park my weapons in there and occasionally take them out and smooch on them until my face is all slashed up.

I wouldn’t know because I’d never play a Demon Hunter or any other class that doesn’t dual wield four Gorehowls at the same time.

But I’ve heard rumors that basically you’re sent to rally the factions, which is easier to do if you’re a part of said faction. It’d probably be pretty hard to rally the Horde if you didn’t join it, and the Horde isn’t likely to let a Night Elf join up, even if he or she has no reason to be loyal to the Alliance.

And you dual wield four Gorehowls by taping two together and making a Gorehowl Glaive, that’s how.

What the park needs is, first we get a ton of Warriors. Just hundreds of them. Then we have the gnomes make them robot dinosaurs that can transform into gigantic versions of Warrior Tier 6, and we call these robots Grim Locks. Each of these robots has hundreds of weapons it can draw and use, and they also have beards that also wield hundreds of weapons.

Also there should be a 500 foot tall Arcanite Reaper floating above the park that targets any enemy ships and just Mortal Strikes them. It yells ‘Arcanite Reaper Hooooo!’ as it does this.

Also, if all that fails, I show up screaming ‘Where are my shoulders?’ and just chain cleave down the entire enemy fleet with one shot. My beard in game is actually made up of hundreds of thousands of small Ashkandi.

Suramar is indeed a max level zone.

What?

Oh, right. Sorry. Uh… Warriors are awesome and they all should have feathers. No, wait, that’s theropods. Dang it! Seriously, this is hard to keep going. Uh, just pretend I said something about Tauren being awesome. That seems like a Rossi thing to say.

I rolled a level 1 Warrior to test this out, and the Wardrobe is clear that class and level restrictions are still in place — if you’re not level 100, for example, you can’t use the appearance of gear that’s restricted to level 100, if you’re not a Warrior you can’t use Warrior tier, etc etc. (Note that if you have an item that shares an appearance with a Tier set but isn’t itself a tier piece, you can use that piece… once you’re a high enough level for it to have dropped for you.) So no, you can’t just slap on Ymirjar Lord or Judgement at level 1.

Also reroll Warrior, have some self respect. Seriously, Judgement? I’m shaking my head at you. That sound you’re hearing is my voluminous beard creating friction and igniting from wind resistance.

When I predominately played Horde, it was Draenei. When I predominately play Alliance, it’s Tauren. They both look good dual wielding Ashkandi. But I’ll be honest, the reason any race in the game can be a Warrior is because every race in the game looks good dual wielding Ashkandi. Or using four Gorehowls taped together into Gorehow Glaives. From the back of a robot dinosaur.

Okay, that’s enough Rossi forever. The next six Queue’s are going to be a Sprite Darter, Magatha Grimtotem, Sargeras, the Gizmotron Megachopper, a level 45 Cherry Pie (seriously food level restrictions just nonplus me) and my beard. Or, more likely, none of that. Tomorrow is Alex, so be kind.