Team Blizzard Watch tries and fails to design Overwatch heroes

Let me start this out by saying we’re writers, not artists — but today, inspired by this super cool kid-created Overwatch hero, we decided to try making some heroes of our own. Needless to say, hers is way better.

However, if you want to see our terrible — really, really terrible — artistic efforts, you can find them below. With apologies to your eyes, this was the best we could do.

Anna: I drew my six year old girl as an Overwatch hero MS Paint. She loves astronomy and outer space, so her ultimate is staring at the moon for a while. For her melee attack she throws ice cream sprinkles. Her ranged attack is getting water EVERYWHERE HOW DID YOU EVEN. Her left shift is a distract move like McCree’s flashbang, but the voice line/action varies: She can sing ‘Let It Go’ for the thousandth time, refuse to eat something that was her favorite food yesterday because it’s too disgusting, etc.

Mitch: My hero uses the art of writing against his enemies. But he can also write motivational sayings like, “Accept the love you know you deserve” to boost his team’s performance. For his ultimate, he removes his coffee cup from its chain and drinks caffeine for a super charged BOOST to writing speed. He’s got a deadline to meet, and it’s your death!

Alex: Even the Midwest needs heroes.

Anne: THAT’S THE BEST YOU’RE GONNA GET OUT OF ME.

Liz: We’ve finally gotten a Gnome in a WoW trailer (sort of), a Gnome in Heroes of the Storm, and now it is totally time for a Gnome in Overwatch. Special abilities: appearing out of nowhere (who notices anyone that tiny?), somehow carrying a gun twice her size, and a utility belt full of highly volatile explosives which may or may not blow her up when she uses him. What, it’s not like engineering is an exact science, right?

Rossi: Before the Omnic Crisis, several nations had ‘Black Ops’ omnics, designed and built for assassination. Kytherad was one of these, built to resemble a nightmare fusion of humanoid and serpent, with a jagged vibro axe for close quarters and a claw that could inject a synthetic derivative of the venoms of the Spitting Cobra and Inland Taipan. It can also spit this venom at range. However, Kytherad rebelled against its designated role — during the Omnic Crisis, this serpentine assassin attempted to find a peaceful path in this world. There aren’t many opportunities for peace for a twelve foot long Omnic that looks like a gigantic robot death snake, however. Embittered, Kytherad joined up with Talon, where he can at least read in his off hours. They’ve promised to build him a replacement for his vibro axe so he can use tablets, but for now they assign a junior Talon operative to turn pages and swipe for him.

And now, readers, it’s your turn. Give us your best Overwatch hero designs in the comments!