The Queue: Snow!

It snowed this weekend. I thought we were done with this nonsense!

While I write a strongly worded letter to my local meteorologist, it’s time for — The Queue.

Mitch went to join the dark gods that slumber beneath the sea.

Or maybe he went exploring in a cave and deep in the inky blackness where no light has ever touched something swapped places with him and the Mitch that came back — isn’t our Mitch.

Or maybe he was really busy that week and needed some time off.

But most likely he finally got the nerve to try the Elevator Game and has been stuck sideways to the world ever since.

Frankly, it’s ludicrous that I would have had anything to do with any of those. All of my eldritch rituals involve the woods, not caves and elevators.

Probably to take make jokes at the wrong times. I can’t help it, I just want to make people laugh!

Example: Jeff was just telling us about his broken arm and Jane just had to Cory things up.

Well in theory you’re doing them because you want to save people from being tortured by the Jailer’s lieutenants in horrible ways. But you’re also doing them because they’ll sometimes become Followers for your Covenant mission table. Croman and Meatball are both Covenant agnostic and will help anyone, and the rest are fairly obvious as to which Covenant they belong to. But not every one of them becomes followers, there has been a pair of Venthyr that I’ve run into that are just doing their own thing and never come back to Sinfall to hang out.

I don’t think Torghast has been nerfed recently. It could be that you’re getting better at reading what each group of enemies does, or have a little more gear to make things go easier. It could also be that you’ve just been getting really lucky with how your floors are laid out and which Anima powers you’ve been getting.

I don’t know what sort of new computer you should get, but I do know a way that might fix your old computer.

Take your computer into the closest woods on the next new moon. You’ll also need to bring along three pounds of coffee, one small can of unflavored tuna, and a dictionary with the entire H section removed.

You’ll need to walk into the woods at 11:37 pm precisely, if you pass the tree line early the ritual won’t work.

While walking every time you hear an animal noise turn twenty degrees to your right, and every time you hear a bird noise turn twenty degrees to your left.

If you’ve been turning appropriately eventually you’ll reach a small clearing with a large stone in the center of it. Place your computer on that stone. Using the coffee you’ll need to draw three concentric circles around the computer. Place the can of tuna on top of the tower and walk to the edge of the clearing.

Sit down with your back to a tree facing the computer and read the dictionary starting at the G section and going to J, at this point if you’ve done everything correct you’ll fall asleep and dream of a large black cat with antlers and flaming eyes. When you wake up your computer should be fixed.

If you dream of anything other than the cat, leave your computer on the stone and quickly exit the forest.

I don’t know if I could stick to one theme for very long. Probably something bear-related to start with. But I’d also want a lot of Zandalari dinosaur stuff, and Venthyr highlights, maybe some Drust charms. Just a real hodge-podge of all of my main character traits.

Or just go full Blood Elf, I love the red and gold color scheme they have going for them — it’s really striking. I’ve always been sad that we didn’t end up getting the different racially designed garrisons in Warlords of Draenor. I would’ve had so much fun making alts just to play with the other garrisons.

I feel like the Rastakhan story had reached its logical conclusion. He’d made the deal with Ol’ Bwonsamdi and needed to be out of the picture already so that Talanji could be Queen and join the Horde.

What I do wish we’d gotten is more of the fallout from Rastakhans deal with Bwonsamdi. Like how does Talanji feel about it, does she realize that it’s happened? That would’ve been cool to see happen in-game.

It’d also be cool if in the next few Shadowlands patches we get to see what Bwonsamdi is up to with all of the Zandalari souls that he saved from the Maw. I’m always interested in more Zandalari lore.

Today’s Anna Earworm™: Immigrant Song

Have a wonderful week everyone, stay warm! Make sure to leave Anna lots of questions for tomorrow.