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The QueueAug 20, 2021 12:00 pm CT

The Queue: This is a very silly Queue

It’s a quiet day with a quiet Queue where nothing very important happens.


Q4TQ: What’s the difference between a bird and a birb?

While technically the same class of being, — all birbs are birds, but not all birbs are birds — birbs are required to be at least 35% more adorable than birds. Some common indicators of a more birb-like creature are: rounder and/or fluffier, larger and/or more expressive eyes, or a friendlier and/or sillier demeanor.

This is not an exclusive list, however, and many things can qualify a bird to be a birb. If you aren’t sure if a bird is a birb, you should contact your local ornithologist.


Q4tQ: by reading this you are now a horse. What are you plans for life now?

Okay, we’re really going all-in on animal questions today. I suppose I would want to find a nice meadow, with tall, lush grass swaying in the breeze. Then I would simply enjoy days sunder the sun, eating when pleased, napping when I pleased, and prancing about when I pleased.

I’ve gotta say, as a human I do very little prancing.


QftQ: If the major faction capitols were to get a makeover, what would you like to see? I’d love to see the facades in Stormwind turned into actual places.

De-spike Orgrimmar. The spikes create a very unfriendly atmosphere and they’re really a health hazard. Even though “new” Orgrimmar has now been part of the game longer than original Orgrimmar, I’m still not used to the place. This spike-covered monstrosity was built for Garrosh’s warmongering “true Horde” — yes, I know it was added in Cataclysm, but that was the beginning of this arc — and the design stresses everything violent and warlike about the faction.

And that’s the problem. This city was the beginning of Blizzard’s decision to characterize the Horde purely as villains, starting with Garrosh and continuing with Sylvanas. (Sure, Vol’jin was in the middle there but we saw so little of Vol’jin during his reign that I’m not sure if he properly counts.) This has never been a direction I’ve agreed with (or particularly enjoyed), because it takes a whole chunk of the player base and requires them to participate in really bad stuff in order to play the game, and their only recourse against it is to reroll Alliance or pay for a faction transfer — in both cases leaving friends behind. In a game where the story is fully on rails and you can’t make narrative choices, this feels terrible.

But it’s more than just feeling terrible, it is terrible. Hyping faction identity amongst the player base while pushing a war narrative hasn’t built a fun community of faction pride, it’s built a toxic community of faction hate. This was at its height in Battle for Azeroth, but it’s been building since Cataclysm.

The design of Orgrimmar represents that. It’s a city dedicated to violence, conflict, and a never-ending faction war that just doesn’t make sense anymore. Let’s tear it down and build something better… or at least do a major remodel that pays closer attention to OSHA rules.

That’s all for now my friends. Have a happy Friday, enjoy your weekend, and be sure to pet your dogs for me. I’ll see you back here next week.

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