Phil Xavier

Tactics? Ha! Everyone’s got them. The Jinyu contemplate things like it’s some kind of staring contest. The Shado-Pan meditate before battle like they’re heading out for tea time. Me? I dance through the chaos, and the chaos dances for me.

The key to ‘tactics’ is this: be what they don’t expect. When they guard high, strike low! When they chase you, lead them off a cliff! When they think they’ve won, you’re already three steps ahead, stealing their luckydos and trading ’em to the grummles for a rampaging yak!

Sometimes a clever trick beats a thousand blades. Sometimes a banana peel wins a war.

– The Monkey King

Two Old Gods enter. One Old God gets consumed by everyone attending the event. Which one is it? The hearty and savory Yogg-Ramen or the zesty, vibrant Punch-Saron?

Do we want our guests to be full and relaxed or uplifted and sociable? In fact, what kind of event are we having here? Where are we?!

Are we in a cult?!?

As we feel the dread creep in and question all of our life decisions that led us to this moment, somehow working in catering for a tall, strange man who’s hired us and paid us really well, but is definitely hiding some tentacles in that robe of his, let’s forget all of that and just Queue for a moment.

The long-awaited revamp to Arena Mode in Hearthstone is finally coming, and the improvements are many.

For the past few weeks I’ve been playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, and after a rough beginning where I thought I wasn’t gonna adapt to the combat system, things finally clicked as soon as I started Act 2 of the game, and I’m loving it as much as a Frenchman loves debating existentialism over some coffee and a cigarette.

It’s such a French game, mon vieux.

That outfit on the header picture is literally called “Baguette,” and it’s the first one you find in the game. It’s almost like the devs were completely aware that the internet was gonna make memes with the fact that this is a French game set on a very France-inspired place, and decided to just rip the bandaid off and get on with more important things.

Either way, this is Le Queue and we’re on a mission to answer questions and eat baguettes — and we’re all out of baguettes. Because the characters in that game took them all and strapped them to their backs for some reason. Iunno, maybe they think they’ll get hungry later.

Let’s have a toast, Queue, for life is to be celebrated. To your health!

Hearthstone Into the Emerald Dream expansion now has its own miniset: Embers of the World Tree is now live.

Have you ever had such a big problem that you answered your landline phone (in 2025) and thought that if you were in a comic book, the word PROBLEM?! would appear on the current panel? Cause my man Billy Kane over here sure has!

This is The Queue, and if you’ve got a big PROBLEM?! just shoot it at us, and we’ll do our best to solve it!

One of the two newest heroes in Hearthstone Battlegrounds, Forest Lord Cenarius, has what seems like a straightforward hero power that doesn't look too strong at first — but the key to succeeding with this hero is to know how and, more importantly, when to hit that hero power button.

How does it taste? How many calories does it have? Does it just disappear in your stomach? But if so, how does it give you sustenance — how does it restore your health and mana?

As we ponder these important questions and others, let’s Queue.

A normal work week starts on Mitsuru Monday and ends on Fuuka Friday. It is known.

Today is Fuuka Friday, a truly blessed day. A day where smiles come easy, where work feels light, where everyone comes together to breathe a sigh of relief for a long, hard week is at last over.

A day where even lemons taste sweet.

So run along, friends, and let’s do this Friday Queue thing — which is a thing we do now!