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The QueueMay 16, 2023 12:00 pm CT

The Queue: Best Friends

What is a best friend other than a social version of power rankings? Best of luck to all of you who sportsball.

This is The Queue, where you ask us questions and we probably won’t play favorites with the answers.


Q4TQ: What’s updog?

A local smoothie and wellness shop named after a yoga pose that has the audacity to not even begin to address this question on their FAQ.


QftQ: If the gnomes and goblins worked together, REALLY worked together, do you think they could create a wondrous invention that wouldn’t explode on them?

That’s a very tricky one, since Gnomish tech explodes when it becomes so complicated that malfunctions, but with Goblins, when things malfunction, they don’t explode. The entire goal of Goblin tech is explosions. So, in this collaboration, it seems like, as long as both parties try their best to do almost nothing, it’ll end up not exploding. So, maybe a rock with a leaf taped to it or something.

Maybe the true explosions are the friends we make along the way.


hypothetical Q4tQ: assuming one is going on a date with someone who’s doesn’t play videogames and isn’t interested in them at all, how does one bring up the fact that they write for a videogame blog without sounding like a huge nerd and putting them off?
asking for a friend

As someone who frequently has to interact with suburban moms who are definitely not into that, I usually go with, “I’m a freelance copywriter and editor, how about you?” The first part gives enough info on what I do so they get a feel for it, but the second bit is the most important part. People generally love to talk about themselves, and asking a reciprocal question gets you off the hook almost immediately without having to describe the weird stuff you’re into.

And for me, the weird part is always that this isn’t even weird! I’m literally the same age as the original Nintendo console. We grew up with this stuff. So I will add, that if you go for a kind of generic, “oh, news about video games, some tutorials and guides, stuff like that,” and they’re weirded out by it, your interests aren’t really going to be all that compatible in the long run. Find a partner who not only won’t yuck your yum, in bed or out of it, but who will support whatever silly nonsense you’re into, even if they’re not.



Happy Birthday to my best friend in the Queuemunity, Red! Nobody’s gonna read the actual post copy this far, so it doesn’t matter if I play favorites. And if you do read this far, come on, be cool. This is why Red’s my favorite.

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