We’re hoping to defend our Player Housing plots with these spikes from around Azeroth

As the debut of World of Warcraft Player Housing continues to rapidly approach, you may be wondering how you are going to defend your new custom-built living quarters against nosy neighbors, prank-minded guildmates, and litigious HOA officials. The answer, of course, is spikes!

While your actual plot of Azerothian real estate will come pre-equipped with a convenient ‘no visitors allowed’ toggle that will teleport nosy neighbors to the edge of your property if they trespass, it never hurts to broadcast that message loud and clear to any potential solicitors by covering your yard and house with various pointy things. And the good news is that the exterior of your home is extremely customizable, so you can fill it with all manner of items to scare off door-to-door salesmen. But the bad news is that we haven’t yet found any sufficiently spiky decor to scare off a particularly determined door-to-door salesman. But that hasn’t stopped us from making a decor wish list.

We have scoured the known planets of the Great Dark Beyond to bring you our picks for the spike styles that we hope will be included in the exterior design catalog of Player Housing.

If you guess that we’d start our spike tour in Orgrimmar, you’d be correct. The Horde capital is bristling with pointy accents. Some of them are stubby enough to be almost pyramid-shaped, others are tapered and seem a little more deadly.

My guess is that Orgrimmar-style spikes are an almost certain inclusion in the very first batch of exterior decor rollout, mostly because we see the same style repeated on nearly all Horde fortifications across all of the continents and planets that they set up shop.

Lest you think I have some sort of Horde bias influencing my spike wish list, let’s move right over to some Alliance spikery that will be sure to discourage any Troll or Orc solicitors. The Cathedral of Light is topped by a variety of fine stone spires that would make for a perfectly effective yet classy defense mechanism for your Founder’s Point plot.

There are also some nice slate-roofed turret-toppers around the city that could be shrunken down and used creatively for all sorts of spiky hijinks. I haven’t been keeping up with the activities of the Stormwind Stonemason’s Guild for the last war or three, but hopefully they’re not too busy to offer their crafts for purchase.

I am never going to pass up an opportunity to show off the scenery in Icecrown, and the wide variety of lethal-looking spikes across the entire zone has me hoping that we’ll be able to utilize our Ashen Verdict reputation to acquire some gnarly-looking house toppers.

There are short spikes great for lining a garden, thin ones perfect for adding to a wall, and towering clusters that you’ll be able to see from clear across Razorwind Shores. Buyer beware: these spikes are crafted with the mineral form of the blood of The Monster In Your Nightmares.

For a classy yet notably evil look, you can hope that the Twilight’s Hammer cult takes a break from their efforts to bring about the end of the world in order to raise some money by selling decor in the form of spikes.

The elementium adornments that you can see atop the Bastion of Twilight, as well as many of the cult’s encampments across the zones of the Cataclysm expansion, have a vaguely organic yet decidedly sinister aura. These would be perfect for spooky season, or for anyone who wants their neighbors to wonder if they live next to an apocalypse-seeking band of Ogres.

After spending a decent amount of time scouring the realms of Azeroth for the best simple yet lethal-looking spike, I settled on these sharp numbers from Revendreth. Some of the battlements atop Castle Nathria have gigantic spikes that look they could skewer a wild gargoyle.

I am again expecting the creativity of the player base to shine through once the full Player Housing experience begins. We know that we will have free reign to resize, recolor, and even clip our decorations through walls and floors. I am picturing these slender defenders poking from every square inch of the approach to an otherwise welcoming front porch.

I’ll end with some spikes that, were I to see them on my neighbor’s lawn, I probably would report to the HOA. Inside the Crucible of Storms raid, we encounter The God of The Deep himself, N’Zoth. Throughout your time inside this tendril of an Old God, there are stubby, black spikes that give just enough of a tooth-vibe that I don’t want to think about it anymore.

I could probably write four or five more articles filled with further lists of spikes I’d like to be able to use on my lawn, but with Player Housing finally upon us, it’s now time to dive into our Neighborhoods and see what actual defensive decor we’ll be able to purchase at launch. Which Azerothian spikes are on your wish list?