The Queue

And no, the theme isn’t murlocs. Probably. Maybe?

Well, Queue, let’s get right to it.

Look, I go through a lot of steps to come up with a character name. Sometimes I go to Google, turn on the translator, and throw words at it until I get a combination I like. I’ve been playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous for years now, and most of my characters are stuck at level 1 because I make a character and immediately come up with a different name.

Oh, and happy birthday, America. I’m sorry you never get to sleep on your day because of all the explosions, and I feel very bad for your dogs.

Mitch may not be currently writing the queue, but his spirit lives on!

Let’s answer some questions before a fight erupts over the title!

I popped in to a store to get more red hummingbird food (my local hummingbirds are spoiled brats) and was simultaneously surprised and overwhelmed that all the summer outdoors stuff has been shoved off into one little clearance corner, while the rest of the seasonal section is now devoted to back to school shopping. I should not have to compare notebook paper rule sizes while slathered in sunscreen.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll answer because why not, life is relentless anyway.

Happy Canada to you all! Here I am all decked out in the colours red and white in honour of our day. I even spelled honour and colour the right Canadian way and not the weird American way, editorial dictates be damned! (Sorry Liz, don’t fire me!)

Whether you’re Canadian or not, let’s all raise a glass of maple syrup, enjoy a doughnut, hold the door a little too long to let someone through, have a strong opinion about hockey, and say sorry if you bump into someone today.

While you all do that, it’s time for — The Queue!

Friday is always a surprise, showing up without warning. But let’s put on our sunglasses and face the day. Let’s Queue.

I mean, I’ve played every Diablo game. I’ve played Grim Dawn, Wolcen, and Path of Exile. I’ve played Cyberpunk 2077 and I’ve literally used a gun that fires explosive grenades to slaughter an entire gang from up close. My character in Baldur’s Gate 3 is literally an amnesiac murder hobo who spends most of her game time completely covered in blood. Other people’s. That I have liberated from their bodies with big, pointy things. I’ve torn people’s limbs off, thrown people’s heads, flown away as the entire planet Taris was bombarded from orbit and millions died.

“Hello, Peter.”

…I mean, there’s a chance that’s your name — at least a few of you are probably called Peter. But even if it isn’t, that’s okay: my character here is not Doctor Octopus either, he was just modeled after him.

So let’s model this column around answering some questions!

I’m not sure what it is about summer that always makes me want to fire up Pokemon Go again. It’s not like I enjoy spending time out there — I’m firmly a cool, crisp autumn girly. Part of it is that I’m looking for something for my veal-calf-like children to do, and Pokemon Go is basically a cheat code for fun little outings in the nearest half mile or so. Libraries, parks, even silly little statues outside restaurants are all charted out for me. The other part is that I’m always looking for iced coffee, and thanks to a marketing tie-in, every single Starbucks is marked as a Pokestop. Sometimes capitalism is good, actually? Mm, let me think on that one for a sec.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us the questions and we provide the answers, just let me catch this Ekans first. Darn. Darn. …Darn.

Today is the day, the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs. It’s been a grueling postseason to get to this point, but the Edmonton Oilers have the chance to win it all and bring the Cup home to Canada for the first time in 30 years.

We’re all a little excited around the city, to say the least. There have been free concerts downtown, and I’m sure a record number of people calling in sick to work so that they can watch the game. Not only because we like it when our team wins, but because if they win tonight they’ll pull off a reverse sweep in the finals. Winning their 4/7 games after the Florida Panthers had already gotten three wins. Each game was do-or-die, and somehow they managed to get their stuff together and bring us to game 7. If the Oilers win tonight, they’ll be only the second team to win the Stanley Cup in a reverse sweep — the first was the Toronto Maple Leafs in 1942, 82 years ago!

It’s going to be a wild night!

I guess I can talk about video games until then though, it’s time for — The Queue!