The Queue

I’m spending this patch sitting on a bench with Lorewalker Cho with a bowl of popcorn watching the drama go down. Anyone want to join us?

I’ve been looking for a new chandelier for a while now. The one we have is hideous and just needs to be replaced in general, but my sense of style tends to be, generously, eclectic. My usual issue is, I’ll start looking at things, and then I’ll keep looking at similar things, and oh, what about that, and after a while I’ve been looking at similar things for so long, I end up down a rabbit hole where I can’t tell if something is really cool or hideous, or if it’d perfect for my room, or if it completely clashes with every other design decision I’ve made up to this point. I’m also a little bit nervous about what I’m going to find when I actually take down the old one — our house isn’t all that old, but one of the previous owners thought he was far handier than he actually is. It’s been a ride, y’all.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we definitely don’t answer in metaphors. Anyway, Player Housing is gonna be great, super pumped for that.

I’m home now and everything is back to normal. I’m typing this on a proper keyboard, in front of a proper monitor, at my proper desk. It’s glorious!

While I try to remember where I left that thing, y’know that thing? It’s time for — The Queue!

You’ve become an ace at doing cardio. Kids smile as you jog past them, dogs happily wag their tails, strangers break into song. You can eat as many baguettes as you want: bread doesn’t make you fat.

Suddenly you pass in front of a shop window, and you see your reflection: you realize that you’re wearing a comedic prisoner outfit. Black-and-white stripes, baggy trousers, and the number 24601 plastered across your chest.

At that moment, the sky darkens with heavy clouds, and dramatic music starts to play. Timpani thunder, brass blares, ceremonious cannonballs. A baritone voice can be heard, loud and clear:

“Halt, 24601!”

Inspector Javert barrels into view, running after you, every step a moral judgment. Now you understand why cardio feels so effortless: the universe has turned you into the ultimate sprinter, because running from Javert is a marathon with no finish line in sight, and the audience always asks for another encore.

This is The Queue, where life can be a musical, but that also means life is a musical.

Y’all knew I was going to weigh in on that one.

I’ve had fun in this crazy casino of a raid tier, but honestly I’m ready for something new. Maybe a vacation to a void-infused husk of a world to fight a void lord. That sounds like it could be neat.

Of course the soundtrack won’t be as good, but you can use a break even from good things. With less than a week to go, we’ll all be embracing the void soon. Maybe in a relaxing void spa? That sounds like a vacation.

But for now, let’s answer your questions!

No wait, strike that, reverse it. I’m late!

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll answer quickly. We gotta run, man.

After ten days, the local fair has moved on. What a wild ride it’s been! Over those ten days, my favorite person and I have eaten some weird food, been too cold because we misjudged the weather, ridden a bunch of rides, seen some huge concerts, some smaller concerts, robotics competitions, superdogs, local wrestling, and even hopped on a mechanical bull. A nap might be in order, but then I could do another ten days, easy.

Best food so far? The Ube bun hamburger from the Filipino food truck. Best ride? The Mach 3 that spun me around so very high up in the sky. Best concert? Tom Morello, although July Talk was pretty cool, too. Best free promotional thing at the fair? Nerds kept giving out free packs of Gummy Clusters, and now I have eaten my weight in them.

While I try to get my brain out of fair mode, it’s time for — The Queue.

Sad note to start the queue on, but rest in peace Chuck Mangione. If you’re a member of an older generation and/or you were a King of the Hill fan you’ve probably heard “Feels So Good” a dozen (or a thousand) times but you owe it to yourself to listen to the full version. What a fantastic career and he’ll be sorely missed.

Many thanks to Red for holding down the fort while I was gone; I apologize if you’ve gotten used to him being your Friday queue writer but we’re back to alternating every week. At least until I take another break. But it hasn’t happened yet so let’s answer some questions!

Trying to finish before I snooze
Working on my Night Queue
In the summertime
Unusually cold summertime