The Queue

You’ve become an ace at doing cardio. Kids smile as you jog past them, dogs happily wag their tails, strangers break into song. You can eat as many baguettes as you want: bread doesn’t make you fat.

Suddenly you pass in front of a shop window, and you see your reflection: you realize that you’re wearing a comedic prisoner outfit. Black-and-white stripes, baggy trousers, and the number 24601 plastered across your chest.

At that moment, the sky darkens with heavy clouds, and dramatic music starts to play. Timpani thunder, brass blares, ceremonious cannonballs. A baritone voice can be heard, loud and clear:

“Halt, 24601!”

Inspector Javert barrels into view, running after you, every step a moral judgment. Now you understand why cardio feels so effortless: the universe has turned you into the ultimate sprinter, because running from Javert is a marathon with no finish line in sight, and the audience always asks for another encore.

This is The Queue, where life can be a musical, but that also means life is a musical.

Y’all knew I was going to weigh in on that one.

I’ve had fun in this crazy casino of a raid tier, but honestly I’m ready for something new. Maybe a vacation to a void-infused husk of a world to fight a void lord. That sounds like it could be neat.

Of course the soundtrack won’t be as good, but you can use a break even from good things. With less than a week to go, we’ll all be embracing the void soon. Maybe in a relaxing void spa? That sounds like a vacation.

But for now, let’s answer your questions!

No wait, strike that, reverse it. I’m late!

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll answer quickly. We gotta run, man.

After ten days, the local fair has moved on. What a wild ride it’s been! Over those ten days, my favorite person and I have eaten some weird food, been too cold because we misjudged the weather, ridden a bunch of rides, seen some huge concerts, some smaller concerts, robotics competitions, superdogs, local wrestling, and even hopped on a mechanical bull. A nap might be in order, but then I could do another ten days, easy.

Best food so far? The Ube bun hamburger from the Filipino food truck. Best ride? The Mach 3 that spun me around so very high up in the sky. Best concert? Tom Morello, although July Talk was pretty cool, too. Best free promotional thing at the fair? Nerds kept giving out free packs of Gummy Clusters, and now I have eaten my weight in them.

While I try to get my brain out of fair mode, it’s time for — The Queue.

Sad note to start the queue on, but rest in peace Chuck Mangione. If you’re a member of an older generation and/or you were a King of the Hill fan you’ve probably heard “Feels So Good” a dozen (or a thousand) times but you owe it to yourself to listen to the full version. What a fantastic career and he’ll be sorely missed.

Many thanks to Red for holding down the fort while I was gone; I apologize if you’ve gotten used to him being your Friday queue writer but we’re back to alternating every week. At least until I take another break. But it hasn’t happened yet so let’s answer some questions!

Trying to finish before I snooze
Working on my Night Queue
In the summertime
Unusually cold summertime

Pandaria is beautiful, but it’s also where everybody makes their worst decisions. From the bodyguards who locked Anduin in a cabin on a sinking ship to keep him safe to, well, all of us, crash landing in a new place and immediately wrecking the joint. And that’s not even mentioning Garrosh, the one we should have locked in a cabin on a sinking ship at the beginning of the expansion, then instead of spending an expansion grudgingly completing his quests (we want to level up, and there isn’t exactly an opt out button) we could have gone and chilled out on Sunsong Ranch, found a beach to relax on, or honed or dragon racing skills (an early taste of what was to come!).

I’m still heading back to Pandaria, but I do have a few regrets.

But for now, let’s Queue.

Sometimes, even with the power of Spirit City life is inherently distracting. It doesn’t help when someone accidentally activates your trap card and all of a sudden you’re forced to watch Diana Damrau sing the Queen of the Night Aria from The Magic Flute. See, the music itself is stellar and obviously a lofty goal for any soprano, but the performance itself is what truly elevates the piece. The music is sweet and light, and full of technical runs, but the words — as bolstered by the staging and costuming and acting — show an absolutely unhinged woman laughing at the thought of forcing her daughter to murder a priest. The daughter is beside herself, weeping, clutching a dagger, while this woman swears vengeance, claims she is wronged, and giggles. It’s goosebumps inducing.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll get back to the answer part soon we swear.

The local fair is in town! By the time you’ve read this, I’ll have already been on three different days and seen the sights, been to concerts, and eaten terrible(wonderful) food.

So far, I’ve had a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich made out of a maple donut, a street corn-covered jumbo hot dog, giant deep-fried cheese curds, and there are still so many more days to try the avocado ice cream and ramen-rrito and every other wonderful(awful) food crime.

While I try and figure out if deep fried pop-tarts are worth it, it’s time for — The Queue!