The Queue

Before you get worried, I do not have fatal insomnia — I do sleep for between two to four hours a night. Most nights closer to two, admittedly. It means I spend a lot of time in the middle of the night playing video games, and I have been for a long time now. I played the original Diablo on PlayStation, Xenogears, several of the Silent Hill games, the various Doom games. Even the Dino Crisis games. In a real way, if I could sleep normal hours, the past 20 years of my life wouldn’t have looked anything like it has.

I still wish I could sleep more than I do.

If you imagine
a quiet gong after
each Q, I thank you.

So, there weren’t really any questions that spoke to me from the Friday Queue. Sometimes this happens!

This means you get a Queue full of me answering random “Would you rather” questions I found online.

While I go find an eyepatch to put on a racoon, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is The Weeknd.

What do I have in common with him? We both started our Persona 5 playthroughs intending to date Takemi (aka Punk-rock Woman), but ended up not dating Takemi.

This is The Queue, our daily Q&A column where we like the weekend. It’s the best part of the week! By far!!!

What’s going on with all the raccoon talk in the last Queue? I asked Cory, and he told me “It’s a total mystery and nothing I did for sure.” So I have to take him at his word for it and assume it’s everyone else who is being weird. Why would a raccoon wear an eye patch, anyway? So I’m watching all of you is what I’m saying.

This the Queue, our daily Q&A column which I am currently using as an excuse to post this picture of Moo Deng, which is going to make all of our days better. Let’s get to it.

I must be stuck in a trap. That’s the only reason I can think of for still being here.

Look, that cheese was so appealing and delicious looking… Is it any wonder that I took just a small nibble? It’s not like I ate a bunch of pomegranate seeds or ate at a table in the Fae Court. That would be silly. I certainly haven’t been pushing on a door that’s clearly marked “Pull,” I haven’t made that mistake in so long.

While I contemplate gnawing off my own foot, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

My son accidentally microwaved ramen without adding water yesterday and thereby started a small fire. It wasn’t a huge deal, except now everything in my house smells vaguely smoky. The fix would ordinarily be to open the windows and run fans, but it’s approximately a billion degrees outside and humid, so that had to be short-lived. I’m going to wait til the end of the day to wipe down the walls and launder all the launderable fabric, then change the HVAC filter and pretend everything is fine.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll let you find out yourself so it’s a teachable moment. Life lesson, if you will.

Hey, wasn’t I just here?

I could’ve sworn I was just here. Or is it more like I’m still here? Either way, I’m here, you’re here, my cat is here, let’s do this thing.

While I try to figure out if I’m alive, dead, or stuck in a box, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

It’s Friday! The weekend is here, and hopefully that means you’ve all got lots of time to be lazy, and productive, and then lazy again. Laziness is an important part of many good weekends, as long as you’re not forgetting to pick someone up from the airport. Maybe you’ll go to a market and buy some fresh produce, or take in a movie. You should check out your local indie movie theater, maybe they have some fun stuff on offer. A couple of weeks ago, I saw Blazing Saddles in honor of Mel Brooks’ 100th birthday at my local indie theater, and it was a great time! We didn’t even plan on doing it, just noticed a flyer and were nearby with time to spare. It was fate.

While I try to figure out what to do with this weekend, it’s time for our daily question and answer column — The Queue!

Summer is well upon us, and with it a heat wave that has me staying well out of the sunshine. But the Ice Stone is still here, and still needs melting, so once again I queue up to kill Frost Lord Ahune for summertime festivity (and transmog).

Fortunately I can do this while staying indoors, because I really want all of the new Midsummer Fire Festival transmog.

But for now, this is the Queue, our daily Q&A column where I do my best to answer your definitely video game related questions. Let’s get to it.