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Matthew Rossi

Matthew Rossi @MatthewWRossi — Matthew Rossi is a synapsid, perhaps descended from Cynognathus. He was born in Providence, Rhode Island, and grew up there before leaving to see the world and be mistaken for a sasquatch and/or minor singing celebrity in various locales. He currently lives and writes in Edmonton alongside his amazing and beautiful wife and their cats. He’s written three collections of speculative fiction, Things That Never Were, Bottled Demon and At Last, Atlantis. He loves playing warriors in World of Warcraft, barbarians in Diablo III, and he’s beginning to notice a pattern here.


The Queue: Even a holiday dinosaur can’t hold me back

Hey guys.

What, that? Naah, I’m fine. Sure, being horribly masticated and swallowed by a dinosaur was terrifying at first, but after a while I realized that if I let myself miss out on the holiday season simply because a multi-ton carnivore had messily devoured me then it would be seen as awfully inconvenient. So long story short I accepted the res sickness, waited out the timer, and here we all are, doing the Queue two days after Christmas.

Hope you guys all had a good Christmas if you celebrate it. If not, I still hope you had a good weekend. Mine was pretty good – I got eaten by a T-Rex with a Santa Hat on. Also it ate Mitch but I’m pretty sure he’s okay now too.


The Queue: A Cretaceous Christmas Carol

Greetings.

I’m Santa Rex, and I’m here to bring you some Cretaceous cheer for the holiday season. I was forced to devour the usual host of the Queue, because he stood in the way of my holly jolly rampage.

You don’t want to stand in the way of my holly jolly rampage.

So come! Let us celebrate the season of peace on Earth and goodwill for all, even you small synapsids. Did you leave cookies out for me? Or perhaps a Centrosaurus? Or both?

Ho ho ho, Merry Cretaceous Christmas!

Awful crunching sounds commence as Santa Rex tucks into his plate of stacked Centrosaurus and swimming pool full of milk.


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