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The Queue: Red sus

But I mean, come on: Purple is clearly the culprit. He has an alien-like tongue that lashes out at his enemies. And several large, pointy teeth. And he makes some… strange noises, that no other crewmate makes. Yet people still blame it on poor Red!

This is The Queue. There are vampires in space?!


The Queue: stale cake for breakfast

I know most people love leftovers, and I’m kind of a jerk to complain about the blessings of a fully stocked fridge, but between my daughter’s birthday and Christmas I’m kind of fighting for my life. Or maybe I’m just sugar crashing after literally having cake for breakfast.

Welcome to The Queue, the daily column where you ask us questions and we’ll get back to you right after we brush our teeth. Oh, and now that you’re here you’re contractually obligated to take a cookie and a scoop of leftover broccoli casserole. I know you don’t have a plate. Hold out your hand, coward.


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