Splatoon 2

Seriously, how could this Queue NOT be about Splatoon 3’s reveal announcement? And even if it’s not actually called “Splathreen,” I’m still going to call it that for now because I find it hilarious (and also, RIP Spla2n, the title we never got).

Anyhow, I’m very excited about Splatoon 3, even if it is a long way away.

But enough about that. It’s Queue time.

By most estimates, it’s been several years since the last Splatfest. By a calendar’s exactimates, it’s actually just been a little over two months. Whatever your sense of time, it’s, ahem, time for a new Splatfest. This one’s in honor of Mario’s 35th anniversary and pits one power-up against another, much stronger power-up. I will be fighting on the side of Team Superstar. I may even be wearing my IRL Splatfest tee for the occasion!

However, that will all have to wait for tomorrow. Right now, it’s Queue time.

Look, I said I’d have fun no matter who won this year’s Splatoween Splatfest — and I did! — but I’m still a bit salty that, despite its pretty dominant lead in popularity, Team Trick lost once again. Also, Pearl and Marina swapping their black/white outfits was simple but fantastic and I am all about goth Pearl. Anyhow, those are the only results we’ll be discussing today.

Everything else? It’s all coming up Queue.

That’s right, friendos, it’s Spooky Splatfest Season, and this weekend’s extra-long Splatfest is all about tricking. Or treating. It depends on which side you choose. This time — just like I did two years ago — I’m going with Team Trick. If we lose again, I’m gonna be so Yogg-dang peeved.

Okay, so I won’t be all that mad. Splatfests are fun, and these surprise bonus ones after the “final” Splatfest are always a… um… treat. Anyhow, let’s Queue as we think about our choices.

Man, I knew I missed Splatfests, but I didn’t realize just how much I missed them. It felt great to be back at it, and having it last 48 hours helped to take off some of the pressure of wanting to hit Queen/King. That said, after defecting from my original Ketchup pals who lost the first time around, I was served proper karma by losing yet again. Anyhow, Splatoon 2 is great.

You know what else is great? The Queue.

As I assume you are all aware, the Splatoon 2 Splatfests are something of an interest of mine. I may not always partake equally, but I still pay attention to a given month’s and choose a specific side which I root for. Which makes it a little sad in saying that tonight/this weekend’s (extended) Splatfest is the final official one planned for Splatoon 2.

This time around, the theme is Order vs. Chaos. As you’ve likely surmised, I’m going to be playing for Team Chaos. That said, I’m still sad to see these go. I’m confident they’ll return in Nintendo’s next iteration of the series, but it’s still an ending. And I’ve never been great with endings.

But anyhow. Let’s Queue.

Okay, I know last week I yelled at y’all for asking nothing but Two Bosses Enter questions, but I swear asking you to pick between Narwhals and Unicorns is totally different. I mean, Narwhals already won (rightfully so), which makes it more of a statement of victor. But still. It’s not the same.

Also speaking of Splatfests… next month’s is the very last Splatfest of Splatoon 2. It’s Chaos vs. Order, so you obviously know what I’m voting for, but it still makes me very sad. It’s going to be the end of an era, y’all.

On that sad note, let’s Queue.

This month’s Splatfest was Teleportation vs. Time Travel. I was far too busy on Saturday to participate, sadly… which may explain why the wrong side won. That said, this one was tougher than I initially expected.

Why? The fact that time travel is up against teleportation inherently implies that you can ONLY time travel from your current location. Most versions of time travel I’ve seen in sci-fi have allowed people to teleport as they time travel. If you can’t do that, it’s a little less exciting — but it’s still better.

Oh well. Let’s Queue.

This month’s Splatfest was Knights versus Wizards, and (probably not surprisingly) I went with Team Wizard. While the “popularity” portion of this one was a total blowout (62%), the Normal and Pro win categories were probably the closest I’ve ever seen them be in a Splatfest. Normal wins put Wizards solidly at 50.27%, while Pro wins actually had them lose with 49.70% of all wins.

Regardless, that Normal win percentage was all it took to put them on top for the overall results — exactly as it should have been. Good job, Wizards.

Now, let’s Queue.

This month’s Splatfest was all about those two classic, syrupy breakfast foods: Pancakes and waffles. At first, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to go with. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that, while I do have pancakes more often, it’s hard to actually beat the shape, crunch, and overall fun waffles provide. Looks like I chose wisely, too — waffles won in all three categories, which (AFAIK) hasn’t happened in quite some time.

Enough about syrups and inks, though — let’s Queue.