The Queue

“So who’s writing the Queue today?”

“Rossi.”

“Oh God, that guy. He’s so boring.”

This is the Queue. I am indeed boring.

As I finish writing this at around eight in the morning, I find myself utterly unable to come up with a unique or clever way to introduce the day’s column. Today, cleverness is DIY.

Today’s title comes courtesy of SPencer Morgan, who… look, just make sure he’s okay, all right? I can only keep so many eyes on him, and I need you to help. Sound good? Good.

Let’s Queue.

Welcome back to The Queue, our daily Q&A feature for all of Blizzard’s games! Have a question for the Blizzard Watch staff? Leave it in the comments!

Look while I appreciate how hard these guys in the image above are working, can we just address that there’s a giant leg of something that looks like chicken casually sitting there like a giant meaty paperweight? Where did it come from? What animal created this monstrosity? Who said “You know, I think for lunch today I’m gonna have a chunk of critter leg that’s bigger than my head, that sounds good?” Who took that bite? Nobody’s mouth is that big — are you guys hiding an ogre in the basement or something? Inquiring minds want to know.

Let’s see if we can answer some questions that aren’t thoroughly baffling mysteries, shall we?

It comes to my attention that someone (namely SPencer Morgan) wants to know what my deal is. Before I answer that, let me ask you, SPencer — what’s the deal with the capital P in your name?

Also, seriously, I couldn’t read this question without hearing it in my head like you were giving a stand up comedy routine about me, which is a weird sensation. Part of me feels like you asked this question trying to game a response in this Queue, but I’m nothing if not easily motivated to talk about myself. Buy my books.

It’s a snow day here in Minneapolis. And it’s two weeks into April. That’s just great.

I am really not feeling welcome here, you guys.

Happy Tuesday, folks! It’s a rare Queue that I finish Monday night before midnight, but it seems this will be one of those rarities. I don’t want to risk jinxing this and having to re-write this intro, so why not hop to it?

Let’s Queue.

Welcome back to The Queue, our daily Q&A feature for all of Blizzard’s games! Have a question for the Blizzard Watch staff? Leave it in the comments!

You know, what with all the real dungeons Azeroth is simply chock full of, I kind of wonder what a session of Azeroth-style D&D actually looks like. Who writes the sourcebooks? Is there a special Marcus compendium somewhere that nobody talks about? Inquiring minds want to know.

Hello. I am not a sword, or a dinosaur, or a proto-synapsid, or a person who is unhealthily obsessed with a carving knife. I am Matt Rossi and I am writing this Queue. I am not someone else pretending to be him. I am him. I am old and my eyes are messed up and I play way, way too many Warriors and Barbarians. I am not subtle.

This is the Queue. Let’s talk about stuff.