The Queue

Tactics? Ha! Everyone’s got them. The Jinyu contemplate things like it’s some kind of staring contest. The Shado-Pan meditate before battle like they’re heading out for tea time. Me? I dance through the chaos, and the chaos dances for me.

The key to ‘tactics’ is this: be what they don’t expect. When they guard high, strike low! When they chase you, lead them off a cliff! When they think they’ve won, you’re already three steps ahead, stealing their luckydos and trading ’em to the grummles for a rampaging yak!

Sometimes a clever trick beats a thousand blades. Sometimes a banana peel wins a war.

– The Monkey King

Be honest, the idea of building concrete forts and arming them with laser turrets, then patrolling them wearing a suit of power armor sounds pretty intriguing right about now.

It’s the Queue and while I regress down the Fallout 4 construction vortex, let’s talk about some stuff you mentioned.

My health is a loss: I’m just trying to hang on to my sanity, so it’s all mana potions for mental energy over here. It’s a survival strategy (and it’s usually a Red Bull). Mm, delicious, refreshing energy.

But now that we are all energized, let’s Queue.

I’ve been on a bit of a health kick for a little while now, and one of the things that has made that a little bit more tolerable is making parallels to media. After all, with its exotic fruits and arcane powders and various liquids, what is a protein smoothie but a health potion? Throw in a multivitamin and I may as well be an alchemist. Still trying to find a way to make exercise more novel, though. Ah, well.

This is The Queue, our daily column where you ask us questions, and we’ll supply the answers just as soon as we have a little snack. That was not filling at all.

Psilent pletters are fun! Pespecially when you put them in places they don’t normally pbelong.

Who can even tell that they’re there? They’re psilent!

Of course, psilent just looks like someone with some psi-abilities, so maybe I need to find better words to give a silent p to.

Pwhile I psearch the pdictionary for more pwords, it’s time for — The pQueue!

Two Old Gods enter. One Old God gets consumed by everyone attending the event. Which one is it? The hearty and savory Yogg-Ramen or the zesty, vibrant Punch-Saron?

Do we want our guests to be full and relaxed or uplifted and sociable? In fact, what kind of event are we having here? Where are we?!

Are we in a cult?!?

As we feel the dread creep in and question all of our life decisions that led us to this moment, somehow working in catering for a tall, strange man who’s hired us and paid us really well, but is definitely hiding some tentacles in that robe of his, let’s forget all of that and just Queue for a moment.

I wrote a Queue last week and it just vanished. I intended to use this picture of Doom Guy and Isabelle from Animal Crossing and I don’t remember why anymore. But here it is.

Please let this Queue survive the fickle whims of the CMS, dreadful ones.

This expression? Shock and awe. But mostly shock. It’s one of those Wednesday moods.

But this is the Queue so let’s get to your questions.

Since we’re playing icebreaker games this week, apparently, I decided to go for the gusto. Never Have I Ever, the game where either you want to confess your secrets, or want to pressure your friends into revealing theirs. In hindsight, it’s a very mean girl thing to pick (so it makes sense that I picked it).

This is The Queue, our daily column where never have I ever asked the questions. So, I get to put a finger down, and you…?

As gamers, we’re no strangers to someone or something asking you the question — would you rather? Would you rather have that power up or this one? Would you rather save Ashley or Kaiden? Would you rather take the hard route or the ultra-nightmare route?

All of this has been on my mind since I found this little tin of pre-written questions at a bookstore event today. It’s just 50 little cards, and there have been some tough ones and not-so-tough ones. Unsurprisingly, my girlfriend, a proud owner of a big St. Bernard, would rather find herself in a room full of giant puppies instead of kittens. Being able to only read the first or last page of every book was a bit of a tougher one, though — I went with the first page, you can build out so much more of a story from there!

Would you rather read the Queue, or take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed, and believe whatever you want to believe.

I mean, I know if you’ve come this far, what the likely answer is — let’s Queue!