The Queue

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I originally wrote “Big Sweaty Guy” as the title here because I couldn’t think of anything to (very loosely) continue the trend but then I found my good friends, the Bungers!

So please enjoy the Bungers bunging while we have ourselves a Queue.

I’m pretty excited about Festival of Legends at this point, but it’s less because of the actual gameplay stuff, and more because of all the music deep dives I’ve been doing over the past few weeks. From cowbell soloists, to going down swinging, to bouncing around, to a symphony of sins, I’m loving it. Pretty sure nobody else in the house is, but I’m pretty used to that.

This is The Queue, where you ask us questions and we make a mixtape out of them, apparently. Some links may be mildly NSFW.

April Fool’s have come and gone and the thing that has stuck with me the most is of course the Diablo accounts proposed classes for the upcoming Diablo 12. How dare they dangle the thing I want most in all video games in front of me like that! All I want to do is be a giant bear making a mess of things in anything I play!

Fighting game? Bear! Racing game? Bear! Quaint housing sim? You better bear-lieve me that it’s a bear!

I hope this is one of those situations like we always saw with the ThinkGeek products where a week later they’re announced as actually being produced.

While I sell someones soul to Diablo to make this happen, it’s time for — The Queue!

I’ve spent much of the past two weekends playing Diablo 4. (Spoiler: I really enjoy it.) But this weekend there’s no Diablo 4 to be seen, and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. I suppose I’ll have to continue working through patch 10.0.7, finish my Hearthstone battle pass, and perhaps keep reading up on Diablo lore as I ponder where D4 might go after Act 1. (Hopefully somewhere.)

But I suppose I can answer some questions, too. Let’s Queue.

I mean, not all ladybugs are great — the Mexican Bean Beetle, for example, is kind of a hazard to agriculture cause it’s herbivorous and eats all the crops — but in general, ladybugs/ladybirds/ladybird beetles are a friend to humanity and cute as a button on top of it.

I suppose I should admit that the part where they catch aphids and lay their eggs inside them is less awww, so adorable and more I have torn nature’s mask and found it woven of horrors, but I’m sure they’re probably grossed out by us too sometimes.

After the Diablo 4 early access and open beta weekends, I keep thinking about the way that the action RPG juggernaut has translated open world gameplay into its isometric oeuvre and I realized that the game has a very similar feeling to games like the original Fallout or its modern incarnations.

You know what gaming needs? More whodunnits. While a whole lot of games ask you to find out who did the bad thing, or their motive for having done the bad thing, it’s usually secondary unless the reveal is truly shocking and splashy — see Bioshock. Usually, when we do get whodunnit games, they’re less thrilling detective work, and more disorienting eldritch horror — see Resident Evil. But straightforward murders, even straightforward serial murders, don’t tend to happen in games. But it’s such a big genre in all other media, I’m not sure why it hasn’t really caught on. Maybe because it’s less replayable?

This is The Queue, where we’ll ask the questions — what are you doing with that knife?

Literally!

However, the spider has still proven to be too much for my rag-tag band of misfits to be able to overcome. Maybe if more people have the new rings next week we’ll be able to apply a little more brute force to overcome our mechanical difficulties.

While I wonder once again why the Ice-Climbers Cleats don’t prevent the icy patches in the fight from working on me, it’s time for — The Queue!

While the Diablo 4 open beta tries to hungrily devour the collective attention of the Blizzard Watch team, I’m pinch-hitting for Liz. So, without further ado, shall we Queue?

It’s Thursday. Whoo boy, that was almost very embarrassing.

What? No, you almost forgot to write the Queue because for some reason you thought it was Wednesday.

Time to crank The Only Thing They Fear Is You and write this bad boy as fast as I can.