The Queue

It can’t possibly be Friday (again). I must be imagining it. I’m just filling in on the Queue for…. someone. Probably. Because it’s definitely not Friday.

But at my back I always hear/
Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near;/
And yonder all before us lie/
Deserts of vast eternity./
Andrew Marvell, To His Coy Mistress

Yeah, turns out instead of being a Kree Supersoldier, Marvell was a British poet who, like a lot of other poets since poetry started, was really concerned that he should be having sex right now because we could die at any moment so it really makes sense to get all your boning in up front as much as possible.

Okay, so he did other stuff too like write things directly addressing Oliver Cromwell and convincing Charles II to not execute John Milton once Chuck was back on the English throne. But his poetical version of we’re all gonna die anyway, let’s get it on while we still can has always stuck with me as the classiest frat bro come on I’ve ever seen.

After much anticipation, the newest King Salmonid has arrived in Splatoon 3. The Horrorboros, as it’s known, is apparently a flying serpent-like boss that I’m sure will wreck face. To celebrate, there’s yet another Big Run happening this weekend! What’s Big Run? It’s basically the Salmon Run (i.e., horde mode) version of a Splatfest. Full weekend long. Unique map. End-of-event rewards.

I am definitely looking forward to it.

Of course, that’s Splatsville. This is The Queue.

Huh, weird.

This is The Queue, where you ask us questions and we give you the answers. Assuming we can see them, anyway.

After not killing Terros again this week(6% wipe) — I decided to try my luck at getting Invincible.

Wouldn’t you know it, I was also not lucky there either! Someday I’ll finally be able to see that stupid undead winged horse. Someday…

While I try and figure out if I’m interrupting a private moment between Arthas and Tirion, it’s time for — The Queue.

If Friday is a state of mind, then it is always Friday and it is never Friday. All week we hope for Friday, and when Friday comes we wait for five o’clock when we can go off to our exciting weekend plans, and then the weekend zooms by and it’s Monday again. That Friday feeling is fleeting, ephemeral, and always out of reach — either in a too distant future or drifting into the past, but never the present.

But for this brief moment in time, it is Friday. Let us enjoy our Friday together for the brief time it lasts. Let’s Queue.

Without bumming people out with too much real life stuff, the past week has been nightmarishly stressful and I’ve been using Tetris Effect on my Xbox — thanks again, Game Pass — to get through it. I’ve found that it’s surprisingly helpful when I’m panicking about things I can’t possibly change to just zone out and play Tetris for an hour or so. Or more. A lot more, really.

I’ll be heading out of town for a concert this weekend and, suffice it to say, I’m pretty excited. Frankly, I’m expecting tears at some point or another.

But that’s this weekend and right now is right now. And right now is…

The Queue.

Rutherford Bear Hayes would like to take this opportunity to thank all his queuestituents for their undying support. I’m sure he didn’t mean that as a suspiciously troubling reference to the Scourge.

This is The Queue, where you ask us questions and we answer them, just as soon as we make sure our house is bearproof, hypothetically.

We just spent our first night on Mythic Terros progression, and woof there’s a lot of damage happening in that fight!

It’s not that hard mechanically, but the numbers checks are pretty rough. Not to mention the; can your Demon Hunter avoid falling into the big hole in the middle of the room, check. He couldn’t — at least not until the end of the night. We were able to get to 35% but that was always at about half strength and out of gas. Maybe next time we get to him we’ll be able to avoid all of the rocky bits and chisel out a victory.

While I work on getting the gravel out from between my claws, it’s time for — The Queue!